My feet had barely hit the dirt lot and Luna was already out of the truck beside me. The kid was seriously spring-loaded. As we walked to the concession stand, she reached up and held my hand. It was a small gesture, and I knew that she probably would’ve held the hand of any adult she was crossing a busy parking lot with.
Even knowing that my heart expanded in my chest and it broke a little at the same time. I understood that her father and my father were ‘sick’ as Skylar explained to Luna. Because of their addiction and alcoholism, they’d missed precious moments like these. I’d been so angry at my dad for all of the responsibility of the boys falling on me. But I’d never looked at it as him being the one that missed out. I was the one who taught Billy how to ride a bike. I’d been the one to get Jimmy ready for his first day of kindergarten. I’d taught both the boys how to drive stick, how to shave, how to write a check, how to cook and clean. Not that they used those last two skills a lot.
Those were all moments that I’d taken for granted because they weren’t my moments to have. And it made me sad. Not for me, but for my dad. And my mom. They’d missed out on the good stuff.
As we approached the concession stand, Luna pointed to a large cotton candy machine at the end of it. “Can I get cotton candy?!”
I figured I better stick to the mom-approved snacks. “I don’t think cotton candy falls in the within reason category.”
“Soooo, is that a no?” she questioned, her Puss in Boots eyes at maximum fullness.
“That’s a no,” I confirmed wondering what would happen since this was the first time I’d told her no.
I pictured a quivering lip, tears welling, or maybe even a small tantrum. I’d seen kids lose their shit in the Piggly Wiggly.
Instead of any of that, she just shrugged. “Okay.”
That was easier than I thought.
But I cautioned myself that it might be a fluke. I may have gotten off easy since the no was still attached to her getting popcorn, soda, and candy.
We took our place in line behind Ronnie Lindon, who I’d played little league with. He was there with his twins who were both around the same age as Luna. His daughter was riding on his shoulders and he was pretending that she was throwing him off balance.
“Hey, man!” He smiled when he noticed me and looked down. “Who’s this?”
I was ninety-nine percent sure he knew exactly who she was because this was Firefly, but I humored him. “This is Luna—”
“Hi! I’m Luna Thompson,” she held out her hand introducing herself. “My grandpa was Old Man Thompson, but I didn’t know him.”
I never knew what was going to come out of her mouth and I was rarely disappointed.
“Hi, Luna.” He shook her hand then tilted his head up indicating his daughter who was on his shoulders. “And this is Naomi. And this is Noah.” He grabbed his son’s hand and wiggled his arm when his oldest Jeannie rushed up, holding out her hand.
“Dad I need twenty dollars!”
“For what?” Ronnie asked, unfazed at the sudden interruption or demand for money.
“Cammie and Rena are here and we’re going to the pier.”
“The pier? But it’s The Goonies!” He motioned to the screen.
“Dad.” She rolled her eyes and held her hand out farther.
“Did you ask your mother?” he questioned.
“Yes, Dad,” she responded impatiently.
“Fine.” He dropped the hand that was holding his son, reached into his back pocket and pulled out his wallet. “But you need to be back here before the credits roll.”
As Ronnie handed his daughter the cash, it hit me that Jeannie was the same age that my kid would’ve been if Melody hadn’t lost the baby. I never really thought much about it, but Emma Jean, Ronnie’s wife got pregnant right around the same time as Melody had.
I never paid much attention to the people I grew up with getting married and having kids. I’d been too busy dealing with my brothers and then my father. But as I watched Ronnie order for his family and fly his daughter around like an airplane, I felt a twinge of something.
Something that I’d missed out on. I’d thought for so long that all I wanted was autonomy. I didn’t want anyone depending on me. But that wasn’t the case. I did want people depending on me. I wanted Luna and Skylar depending on me.
“What’s gonna happen if you wake up one day and they’re gone?” Billy’s question played in my head and dread filled me.
I was just going to have to do whatever I could so that didn’t happen.
CHAPTER 39
Skylar
“Made for You” by Jake Owen played softly through the speakers and Luna snored beside me. She’d only made it thirty minutes into The Goonies. A fresh, ocean breeze was flowing in through the open window as I gazed out at the surface of the Atlantic shimmering like diamonds reflecting the full moon shining down on it.
I breathed in the salty sea air and tried to identify what I was feeling. It took me longer than it probably should have to realize that it was several emotions I wasn’t familiar with.
I tried to put my finger on it, but there wasn’t a word for the opposite of loneliness. But that’s what I felt.
Contentment.
Safety.
Happiness.
Not that I wasn’t happy before now. I had been. I loved being a mom. I’d loved my job. I’d loved my condo. And I loved the few friends that were part of my tribe in Seattle.
But this was different. For the first time since I’d taken custody of Ashley, I didn’t feel alone. I felt like part of a team. I knew that I might be jumping the gun a little. Or a lot. But I couldn’t help how I felt.
When Hank showed up on my doorstep tonight, I figured he was just there to fix the window Richie had broken, which, that alone, was more than he needed to do. But when he asked if us ladies would like to go on a date to the drive-in movie, I couldn’t believe after all he’d done for me the night before and the fact he hadn’t slept that he’d want to go out.
While Luna ran to her room to change for the movie, I voiced my concern and he’d hugged me and told me he was fine and that we needed a night of fun. I’d said that he’d reached his fun-providing quota for the year when he’d thrown a huge party not three days earlier. He told me that had been for Luna, tonight was for me, then he bent down and kissed my forehead. I’d melted like the Wicked Witch of the West into a puddle of swoon.
“Everything okay?” Hank asked, his deep voice was quiet so as not to disturb Luna but it filled the cabin completely, wrapping me up like a warm blanket.
“Yeah. Great.” I nodded, perhaps a little too enthusiastically.
“You seem…quiet.”
My brows lifted. Hank was one of the least talkative people I’d ever known, and if what people said was true, he talked more around Luna and me than he did anyone else.
“I know, but you’re not me,” he responded perfectly to my unspoken thoughts.
He had a habit of doing that and it was unnerving.
“Can you read my mind?” I asked, only half teasing.
“No.” He pulled up to a stop sign and looked over at me as the truck idled. “But I wish I could.”