“You haven’t returned my calls or messages.” I got right to the point.
“I’ve had a busy day, and I’ve been at work.”
I continued staring at her. We both knew that was an excuse. If she’d wanted to respond to me, she would have.
“I’ve just…had a lot on my mind today.” Her shoulders slumped and I could see the internal turmoil behind her blue-green stare.
“If this is about Melody, nothing happened.”
She shook her head as she lifted her arms. “You don’t owe me an explanation.”
“Yes, I do. We talked last night, said things that needed to be said. She asked to stay the night because she knew if she went to Mrs. Beasley’s the entire town would know. Not that it mattered.” The entire town did know. I’d been asked about Melody more today than I had the first time she left town.
Her lips pursed as she lifted her hand. “I think that’s my fault. I told Mrs. Birch. Well, actually Luna told Mrs. Birch that you were kissing someone. Mrs. Birch thought it was me, I told her it was your ex. And, well, she had a lot of follow-up questions, and I’d already let the cat out of the bag so I didn’t see the point in trying to sugar coat it. But it wasn’t my place to say anything and,” she took a deep breath before exhaling an apology, “I’m so sorry.”
“You don’t need to apologize. I’m sorry. I’m sorry that Luna saw that. I’m sorry that you had to explain anything at all. We were saying goodbye and she kissed me. It took me completely by surprise. I didn’t even realize that Luna saw, I just heard her saying hi and waved. I’m sorry that you had to see it.” I reached up to cup her jaw but she took a step back.
“It’s fine. Really. It was good that I did.”
I dropped my arm. I didn’t like the sound of that, but I figured I’d let her finish her thought so I could see exactly where her head was at and what I needed to do or say to change it.
“What happened between us…it’s just, really fast. And I appreciate all that you’ve done for us. I am so grateful. You’ve made a very scary time in my life, not scary at all. And it’s not just me, but Luna. She loves you. You mean so much to her. I don’t know what I would have done this past month without you. You’ve done so much for me, for us. You told us about Mrs. Birch. And the books, they’re Luna’s favorite. And, I mean, the house. The repairs. The upgrades. I don’t know how I’ll ever pay you back but—”
“Stop. I did those things as much for me as I did them for you and Luna. I’m not a saint.”
“I think you’re a lot saintlier than you’d like to admit.”
The twinkle was back in her eye. The one that I’d missed so badly.
Stray strands of hair, the same pieces that always fell in her face, fell onto her forehead and cheek. My hands itched to be the one that put it behind her ear but she beat me to it. She tucked the offending chunk back off her face as she slowly inhaled as if she was preparing herself for what she had to say next.
“I don’t regret anything that happened between us, I really don’t,” she spoke with sincerity before taking a breath and waved her hand between us. “But this is too much for me. It’s just…”
I waited, wanting to hear what was too much. Did she feel too much? Did she want too much? If either of those were the case, I would quickly counter by telling her that I felt the same and that she could have anything she wanted. I was hers.
“I have to be realistic. And while this has been fun, it’s not sustainable. It’s not real. And it’s not just me, I have to think about Luna. I need to focus on being the best mom I can be for that little girl, not worrying about who my neighbor is kissing.” I thought I saw moisture in her bottom lid as she took in a shaky breath and opened the door. “I need to get back to work.”
“Skylar.” Her name came out in a plea. “What we have is sustainable. It is real. I love you. I’m in love with you. I know it’s fast but that’s how I feel.”
“Goodbye, Hank.”
I knew that goodbye was not a see ya later, even though we would be seeing each other all the time. We lived on the same property after all.
It was goodbye to us. But what she didn’t know was us was something I was willing and ready to fight for.
CHAPTER 43
Skylar
I shut the door as quietly as I possibly could. It was a strange feeling knowing that I was the second choice for story time, but since Hank came into our lives, that’s the position I held.
Hank.
Just thinking his name had my heart racing in my chest. It had only been one week since I walked out of his office but it felt like a lifetime ago. When he’d shown up at Southern Comfort and told me that he loved me and what we had was real, I’d been scared but I’d also felt empowered when I’d told him goodbye.
It had been right out of a movie.
But normally, after that line was delivered, an inspiring anthem was played as the heroine walks into her new life feeling free and independent.
That wasn’t quite how the reality of saying that movie-worthy line had played out. I’d walked back into the bar and had a black and tan spilled down my shirt from a drunk vacationer that was trying to hit on me.
I sighed as I walked into the kitchen. I missed him. A lot more than I’d thought I would. I missed him more than I ever thought it was physically possible to miss him. And I wasn’t talking about the aching for him, this wasn’t wanting a fix, this was wanting to see his face. To hear his voice. To watch him walk. That was how much I missed him, I would gladly sit and watch him walk around in a circle for hours.
Typically, when I made a decision, it was final and I didn’t waste time looking back.
Just like the decision to move to Firefly. After I’d done it, there was no second-guessing my decision. I didn’t waste any brainpower agonizing over whether or not it was the right thing to do. Leaving Richie had been the same. He was not the man I was going to spend my life with. From the time I put my engagement ring on the nightstand and moved to my own place when I was eight months pregnant, I hadn’t looked back.
Once my mind was made up, that was it. For better or worse, I committed to my choices.
But this was one time in my life that I was second, third, fourth, and fifth guessing. Had I done the right thing for Luna? Had I done the right thing for me? Or had I just been trying to protect myself?
I hadn’t seen him at all this week and the void that he’d left in his absence was paralyzing. I didn’t even know what to do with myself.
There’d been some activity at his house, trucks parked outside, but I’d done my best not to look when I drove by. Out of pride, mainly.
But I wasn’t sure if that pride would crumble when I saw him face to face which would be happening tomorrow at the wedding. Billy and Reagan had graciously invited both me and Luna. I’d even bought us new dresses for the occasion.
I wondered if there would be dancing. If there was, would Hank ask me to dance? Would he ask Luna to dance?
Picturing the two of them on the dance floor, Luna in her brand new “princess” dress and Hank dressed in a tux, had my ovaries tingling. He was going to make someone an amazing husband and father someday.