“Oh my gosh,” she gasped. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry. It taught me a lot.” I told the driver to take us back to the hotel.
“What did it teach you?” she asked.
I stared out the window. The neighborhood had changed a little, but it was the same trees and the same houses. “It taught me that no one was going to help you. You had to help yourself.”
“Where is your mom now?”
“Dead,” I answered in a monotone voice. I shut off all emotions when I thought about her. I had to for my own self-perseverance.
“I’m so sorry,” she said again.
“Saige, please. Stop apologizing.”
“I’m s—” She stopped herself. “Sorry.”
I laughed. “It’s fine. It happened a while ago.”
“And your father?”
“He’s alive, well, and rich,” I said with a bitterness that burned my lips. “Isn’t that how it always works? She busted her butt to keep me alive and healthy and he got to live his life unencumbered.”
“You never saw him again?”
“Oh, I’ve seen him,” I said. “He actually had the audacity to show up at her funeral. Little did I know, they were still married. He told me, and I quote, ‘thank God she died first. Otherwise, she’d get all my money.’”
Her eyes bulged. “Holy shit.” She slapped a hand over her mouth. “Jace, why don’t you watch TV? Put on the headphones.”
She didn’t have to ask twice. He had been dying to use the screen since we first got in. Once Jace was all set up, she turned back to me. “What did you say?” she whispered.
“About my father?”
“Yes.”
“I didn’t say anything. He did say he had a life insurance policy on her that he’d kept up. He collected the money from the policy and that was that.”
“I’m going to be sick,” she murmured. “How can a father be that awful?”
“I guess I’m just really lucky,” I said.
She shook her head. “I don’t know what to say. I know what I want to say, but you’ve forbidden me from saying it. I think I understand you a little better now.”
“Don’t,” I told her. “Don’t psychoanalyze me. I’m not one of those people who carries around his past and dwells on it. It happened. It sucked, but I survived. My mom made me a fighter. I am where I am today because she showed me that I could be strong enough. I just wish she could have lived long enough to see me reach this kind of success.”
“When did she pass away?” she asked.
“Ten years ago,” I answered.
“You never mentioned it back then.”
I shrugged. “I don’t talk about it. No point. It happened. I’ve moved on. She wouldn’t want me to dwell on it. She would tell me to get my ass in gear and make something of myself.”
She smiled. “She was a strong woman.”
“The strongest.” I didn’t say it, but I was thinking my mom would have liked Saige. They had a lot in common.
“Well, I don’t know your father and I guess I’m glad I don’t, but you don’t need him. That’s terrible to say, but when someone is that toxic, you have to cut them out of your life. They are just not good to be around. I bet he would have his hand out to you if he knew how wealthy you were.”
I scoffed. “And I would reject him and love it.”
“Normally, I would say that was unkind, but in this case, I think it’s fitting. Does he try to contact you at all?”
“Nope. He could care less if I was alive or dead.”
She looked horrified. My story was horrifying. When I chose to bring them along on this trip, I never intended to tell them any of this. Seeing him again stirred up a lot of feelings. I was glad she was there with me.
“Your mom did good,” she said with a smile. “She raised a son that could fight through anything and rise to the top.”
I smirked. “She always told me cream rises to the top. When I was having a bad day and convinced I was never going to have friends or do anything with my life, she would sit me down and give me the best pep talk. Before he left us, I think I always saw her as weak. I used to get so mad at her for not sticking up for me or herself to him. It wasn’t until after he left that she changed into a different person.”
“Did she ask him to leave?” she questioned.
“No. She would never do that, but I think part of her was relieved when he did. He made our lives hell. She still tried to make him happy though. After he left, I remember her crying a lot. I would get home from school and she would be on the couch. Her eyes would be red and swollen. Our house was always clean, and she always had a snack for me. I don’t remember how long it lasted, probably only a few weeks, but it was a very dark time. Those days changed me.”
“How so?”
“In a lot of ways,” I said and remembered the days I sat on my bed and cried while she suffered. “I knew I was never going to go through what she did.”
“With your father leaving?”
I nodded. “Yes. She was left with the burden of me. She didn’t get to just walk away. I mean, I suppose she could have, but she didn’t. She was the one that was stuck trying to figure out how to keep a roof over our heads. I didn’t know it at the time, but my mom stopped working when she was pregnant with me. My dad made her all kinds of promises that he would take care of her. He didn’t. He failed her and I believe the stress of that time killed her.”
“It must have been very difficult. I’m sure it brought you and your mom really close.”
“I don’t know,” I said honestly. “I think we both harbored a lot of resentment for each other. I was convinced she hated me because I made my dad leave her.”
“Nash!” she exclaimed. “You can’t possibly believe that.”
My eyes darted to Jace. I wanted to make sure he was focused on his movie and not my sad story. “I do believe it. I was a huge disappointment to my father and he never missed an opportunity to tell me. I used to think I could have done better. I could have tried just a little harder to be the son he wanted. I will tell you it messed with my self-esteem back then, but I figured it out fast. He was not worth my time. He made me more driven than I could have ever been without his hatred of me.”
She was shaking her head. “I am glad he left you guys,” she said. “I know that sounds awful, but he would have destroyed your spirit.” She leaned forward with a small smile on her lips. “I kind of like the arrogant asshole thing. Cocky is my thing apparently.”
“Then I’m your guy,” I said. I resisted the urge to kiss her. I didn’t want to confuse Jace.
“Thank you for telling me your story,” she said and put a hand on my thigh.
“I didn’t tell you to gain sympathy. It is what it is.”
“I know but I’m glad you told me anyway. And thank you for this trip. This isn’t something I get to do with Jace. Our big outings are a trip to the beach or maybe going upstate for a night. This is exciting. I know he is going to remember this for a long time to come.”