I was feeling brave and decided to take a chance. “I took a lot of shit from kids when I was his age. Some of them knew about my dad leaving and they used it to make fun of me. I can spend some time with you and Jace to give him a male figure in his life. I’m not trying to be his dad, but I know I could have used a male friend back then. I won’t overstep. I’ll just be around. When he can’t talk to you about something that’s bothering him, maybe he’ll talk to me.”
“I would like that,” she said. “He will love it as well. It’s what he needs. I appreciate that you’re willing to take the time. I know you’re busy.”
“I’ll make the time,” I said firmly.
Chapter 61
Saige
I grabbed my purse, waved to the receptionist, and walked to the elevator. I loved this time of year. Things were slow at work. This was the time I got to use my personal days. I was grateful Nash let me keep all the days I had banked, even though I quit for a week.
I checked the time. It was just after one. Jace and Caitlyn both had their after-school STEM class today, which meant Joss and I had a few hours to hang out and do a little shopping without the kids underfoot. I loved my son, but shopping for mom stuff with him complaining about it taking too long did not make for an enjoyable experience.
I got to her house and saw the sign on her door. That was the signal she was with a client. I helped myself to a bottle of water in her kitchen while I waited. A few minutes later, she was finished. “I didn’t think you’d actually make it,” she said with a laugh.
“Hell yeah, mama needs summer clothes!” I said. “I’m looking forward to being able to try stuff on without dragging Jace into the changing room.”
“I just need to change and we can go.”
We took my car and headed for our favorite strip mall. “So, tell me about this trip to California. I really thought you were joking when you said you were in San Francisco.”
I laughed. “I would have texted you before we left, but it was a whirlwind.”
“What happened? Why California?”
“He had a business meeting. He said he had to do it in person. He called and invited us.”
“I can’t believe you just hopped on a plane and went.”
“I know. It was very unlike me and it felt amazing. It was spontaneous and daring.”
“How did Jace like it?” she asked.
“He was absolutely in love with the whole thing. It made his year. I’m sure it will be one of those memories he treasures for the rest of his life.”
“Did you guys do anything fun?” she asked.
“We did. I felt like a princess living out a fairytale. I know Jace felt like a prince.”
“He treated you well I take it.”
I sighed. “He did. I guess it’s probably nothing different for him. He just let us have a little glimpse into the way he lives. We stayed in the presidential suite. We went sightseeing via limo. We were treated like royalty by the hotel staff. We ordered room service and just lived the life of the rich for a couple of days. It was amazing.”
“Wow, you sound like you’re in love.”
“No!” I immediately denied it. “I’m not in love. It was just a nice vacation. Seeing Jace that happy is awesome. I feel like he’s been struggling for months. This last weekend, he was carefree and happy.”
“I’m glad. Jace deserves to be carefree.”
I turned to look at her as I parked the car. “I hear hesitation in your voice.”
“No, I’m not hesitant at all. I think it’s great.”
“Nash says he wants to be in Jace’s life.”
She raised an eyebrow. “What does that mean? Did you tell him?”
“I didn’t tell him anything,” I said. “Not about that. While we were there, he opened up about his childhood. I now understand the dynamics and why he is the way he is. He was bullied a lot and some of that bullying was because his dad abandoned him and his mom. I think he sees a lot of himself in Jace.”
She smirked. “Gee, I wonder why.”
“Stop. Not like that. He just wants to help. He likes Jace.”
“Do you think he might feel that connection?” she asked.
“I don’t know. I don’t know if I believe in that.”
“I think it’s real,” she said. “I think they are naturally drawn to each other because there is a connection.”
“Stop,” I said with a scowl. “If you’re trying to guilt me into telling him, I won’t. I’m not going to make Nash feel obligated to me or Jace.”
“You’re going to wait and see?”
I shrugged and climbed out of the car. “I suppose I am.”
“You’re testing Nash,” she said with a smile.
“I’m not going to say it’s a test, but I don’t want him to be in Jace’s life for a few weeks and then disappear.”
“But isn’t there a risk he’ll do that anyway?” she asked.
“Yes, but I don’t want Jace to know Nash is his father. If Nash abandons Jace like his father abandoned him, I don’t think I will be quite as nice as his mother was. I will not allow Nash to hurt my son. If they are friends and Nash drifts away, I can manage that.”
“Do you think he will?”
“He will do what?” I asked.
“Do you think Nash will drift away?”
I thought about it for a few seconds. It was something that had been on my mind for a few days. “I think eventually he will, but I don’t think it’s going to be here one day and gone the next. I believe Nash cares about Jace. As time goes on, things might fade. I’m okay with that. I’m focused on the right now. Right now, I want Jace to have a male figure in his life that he can look up to. I want him to feel that boost of confidence he gets after spending some time with Nash. I’ll worry about the rest later.”
“And what about you?” she asked as we walked into the store.
“What about me?”
“How are you going to handle him leaving your life?”
“I’ll be fine. I know this isn’t a thing.”
We started browsing the racks. “But you want it to be.”
“No, I don’t. I know Nash is not looking to settle down. He doesn’t want a girlfriend or a kid. He wants to pop in on occasion when he has the time. I’m okay with that. It works. I’m not trying to force him into a relationship he doesn’t want. That will only end badly for both of us.”
She nodded and pulled a shirt from the rack before putting it back. “Do you think it might evolve into something?”
“No.”
“Liar,” she said with a laugh. “At least be honest.”
“I won’t let it,” I insisted.
“It is going to be next to impossible not to develop strong feelings for the man who fathered your son. He’s back in your life and offering to help Jace. Any mom would naturally be thrilled with that. It would be silly to think you wouldn’t begin to fantasize about being together as a real family.”