“Ready?” he asked, looking down at me.
“Yep,” I muttered not sure at all if I meant it.
Maddox fell asleep in the back of Axel’s truck as we drove the hour to his place just outside of Hawthorne. I’d never even been there, and agreeing to live there with my baby might have been one of the crazier things I’d done.
Aside from the whole getting knocked up by a biker, getting my trust fund cut off and going the single working-mother route for the past year business.
Yeah, aside from all that.
We drove farther outside of town than I would have expected and into the mountains, the landscape growing more rugged with a thick layer of pine lining the road on either side.
“I didn’t realize you lived in the boons.”
“I like the space and the quiet.” He shrugged, glancing at me with as close to a shy grin as I’d ever seen on him. If possible, it made him more handsome.
We pulled down an unpaved road to a house I instantly loved.
It looked like a contemporary cabin, but large with a welcoming wrap-around porch. It had a tin roof, practical for snow in the winter and huge windows lining the majority of the home.
“It’s beautiful,” I sighed as he cut the engine. The quiet was deafening for a moment as I tried to absorb the fact that this was home, for now at least.
He looked over at me, searching my face. “Glad you like it,” he replied after a long moment. Something about his tone made me realize how important that was to him. “He’s out,” he commented, his tone lightening as he tilted his head in Mad’s direction.
I looked back and smiled tenderly at my son. “It’s been a big day. I bet he’ll sleep a while longer if we carry him inside and put him someplace quiet.”
Axel nodded, moving to the back and carrying our son inside.
The interior was just as beautiful as the outside. We walked into a great room with vaulted ceilings and floor-to-ceiling windows that looked out to the wilderness beyond. The kitchen was dated but practical with what looked like lots of storage.
He led me down a hall to the left, pointing out an office, a guestroom and a master at the end.
He set Mad down in the master, still sleeping peacefully in his car seat and shut the door quietly.
“What were you thinking the sleeping arrangements would be?” I asked as we wandered back out to the living room. I collapsed on one of the two sofas in the large room. Both were worn, a bit shabby even, but so comfortable I never wanted to get up.
He shrugged. “I can easily move my office into the mudroom downstairs. We can turn the office into his nursery. As for you,” he continued, his voice dropping an octave. “You can sleep in the guestroom – until you’re ready to move into my room.”
I fought the panic that threatened to overtake me. “This is all moving really fast.” I swallowed audibly as his eyes narrowed. “For now, can we just put Mad’s crib in the office and I’ll crash in the guestroom?”
He eyed me intently for a few beats. “For now,” he allowed and I knew it cost him.
I laid my head back against the couch looking up at the ceiling, relieved he wasn’t going to push further.
“When did you move here?”
“This was my granddad’s place. Mad’s namesake,” he added. “He left it to me and Ry in his will,” he continued, referring to his younger brother who was also a member of the Knights. “When he died, Gran was already in a home. I bought Ry out; he didn’t want to be this far from town. He helped me with a lot of the updates. We broke down a lot of the walls, opened the place up, and added a hell of a lot more windows. All kinds of shit.” He shrugged. “That was close to five years ago now.”
“It looks beautiful,” I told him sincerely. “It’s really far from town,” I added absently, though I didn’t mind it. Once I moved to Hawthorne, I soon realized I liked the small town. I loved the desert juxtaposed with the mountains. I loved that the heat was dry, not bogged down with humidity like New York and God, Dallas. There hadn’t been anything like that heat.
“We’ll get you a car.” He shrugged.
“I still don’t know how to drive,” I admitted, feeling my cheeks heat.
His brows rose in surprise. “Seriously?”
I looked down at the fraying seam of the sofa. “Seriously. Will you teach me?” Though I liked the scenery, I had no desire to be stranded in the mountains or beholden to Axel to get me around all the time.
A look of possession passed over his features before he nodded. “You bet,” he agreed.
*****
Maddox fussed all night. It was 2 a.m. and I was ducking into the office for the fifth time.
Axel was already there. I stopped short, watching as his shirtless form held our boy, murmuring to him in his deep baritone voice.
There was something about that moment; such tenderness pooling from this formidable man. A man who hadn’t known he had a son a week ago yet accepted him, seemed to have fallen in love with him as instantly as I had.
“He’s never slept anywhere else,” I explained with a whisper, moving to stroke my hand over his soft head of hair. “I think I’ll just see if he’ll sleep with me,” I added.
“Come on, my bed’s bigger,” he murmured.
“But—” I tried to protest.
He cut me off. “He’ll feel better if we’re both there.”
Part of me wanted to argue further but mostly I wanted to give him this – the confidence to feel he could comfort our baby. I was touched he wanted to try.
So it ended up that we shared Axel’s huge king-sized bed with Maddox stretched out and sleeping peacefully between us.
Axel and I shared a look, gazing at each other from opposite sides of the bed as his large hand lay sprawled gently over our son’s belly.
I smiled at him, the first true smile I’d had in as long as I could remember. The kind that started from the inside and shone outward like a beacon.
“There it is,” he rasped, his eyes shining with joy.
“What?” I asked quietly.
“My light,” he replied simply.
We spent the next few days settling in. Maddox started sleeping more peacefully in his new room, which meant I was back to the guest room much to Axel’s very clear displeasure. I got to work on his home that, though more organized than I would have expected, was lacking in essentials. He needed everything from new towels to pots and pans.
“You ever miss it?” he asked as we meandered through Target with Mad noisily chewing a teething cracker in the cart. Axel had been determined to come with us and I was still trying to get used to seeing this intimidating looking man casually draped over the bright red cart as we strolled the aisles.
“What?” I asked absently.
“The money.” He shrugged, surprising me with his line of thinking.
“Not really,” I replied and he cocked a brow at my response as though he didn’t believe me. “It wasn’t like I could do anything with it that I really wanted to anyway,” I explained. “I couldn’t even buy the clothes I wanted, listen to the music I would have, or experiment with well…anything. In the end, it was all just another way for them to try to control me. So now I shop here instead of Nieman Marcus.” I shrugged as I ran my hands over some throw pillows absently. “At least I get to pick what I like without someone else defining that for me.”