“He and Gracie, and our little peanut, will all be so close in age,” she smiled fondly, rubbing her belly.
Tears filled my eyes as my heart twisted. My emotions warred with wanting my son to grow up around so many people who loved him and not being willing to put those I loved at risk.
“We’re gonna figure it out, Soph,” Kat soothed, observing my internal turmoil.
I bit my lip, hoping desperately she was right as I placed Mad in his crib.
Kat and I were getting situated on the couch when the guys returned, both looking unscathed, thank God.
Axel dipped into the fridge, pulling out three beers for Sal, himself and me. I wasn’t sure where they’d come from, but I took mine gratefully.
I saw him scan the room. “I put Maddox in my room,” I explained.
“You moved the crib by yourself?” He seemed affronted.
“It’s small,” I shrugged. I was so used to doing everything by myself it hadn’t even occurred to me to ask for his help.
“How have you done this by yourself?” Kat marveled, picking up on my line of thinking.
I shrugged, embarrassed at the attention as they looked to me. “I had some cash I’d taken out of my trust fund before it got cut off. That got me through until I could start working,” I explained softly.
“Your trust fund got cut off?” Sal demanded, looking angry and perplexed. “I don’t see how they could do that, Soph. Wasn’t that trust set up for you by Pop?” he asked, referring to our grandfather.
I nodded. “I don’t understand it either, but when Mom and Dad found out I was pregnant, they threatened to cut if off if I didn’t follow their orders.”
“Which were?” Sal pressed.
I looked over at Axel finding his expression grim as he waited for me to continue.
“They wanted me to get rid of ‘it’” as they said. They were horrified I’d sullied my ‘pristine’ reputation. They said no one would want me,” I murmured, looking down at my hands. “They already had me virtually married off to some senator’s son. I’d never even met him.” I laughed without humor. “So I took as much cash as I could from my fund and I was on the first bus to Hawthorne,” I explained.
“Fuck,” Axel clipped, his head in his hands. “How could you not have told me?”
“I needed to know where we stood first,” I explained quietly. “If I told you about the baby right away, I know you would have done the right thing. That might have included being with me and I didn’t want to always wonder if you were with me out of obligation. So I decided to wait.”
Out of everything I’d done, I knew that was the most selfish but I just couldn’t stand the thought that I’d always wonder if he really wanted me. I didn’t want my child to grow up with two parents in a loveless relationship. I’d grown up with it and I wouldn’t make my child do the same.
I sipped my drink and pushed on, ready to get it all out. “When it seemed like there wasn’t going to be anything between us, I knew I had to tell you. It was so hard. I kept wimping out.” I wrinkled my nose and pushed on despite Axel’s growl. “But I knew I’d start to show soon and every day I told myself it would be the day. I’m sorry. I waited too long.”
“You were planning to stay?” he asked, seeming surprised.
I nodded. “If you wanted to be in the baby’s life, I wanted him to have both parents, despite what our circumstances might be.”
“Why did you leave?” Axel demanded.
I rubbed my temple. “My parents were incensed that I’d left. That I’d run to Sal. I think they thought cutting off my trust fund would bring me straight home. They were horrified I’d let my child be raised by ‘low-lives.’ When nothing they’d said after a month was working to get me home, they turned to threats,” I whispered as every set of eyes in the room narrowed.
“The hang-ups?” Axel demanded. He’d been with me a few times when my father had tried to reach me.
“He only hung up when you answered. Every other time, he had plenty to say,” I assured him dryly.
I sighed, knowing I needed to continue but I was wrung out. In one sense, it was liberating to get it all out but it was exhausting at the same time.
“When he called that last time,” I swallowed against the sudden lump in my throat, “he had information on the club. He swore he could send every single member to prison.” I pushed past the sudden, overwhelming tension in the room. “He knew your grandmother was in a nursing home,” I rasped, turning my eyes to Axel. “He said he could cut off funding immediately.”
I looked down at my hands, my knuckles white around the bottle I held.
“He told me if I stayed, he’d make sure my child’s father rotted in jail. That if I went through with it and had the baby, that they’d t-take him from me.” Tears fell in earnest as I continued. “I never knew he could be so evil.” I sucked in a ragged breath. “So I told him I’d leave town and that I’d get rid of the baby if he’d leave everyone alone. The night I left, I bought a new phone, used a different last name and tried not to look back.” I expelled a breath, leaning back against the couch cushions, relieved to have it out.
“Fuck, Sophie,” Sal grunted, at a loss for words.
“I believed him, Sal. I still do. You guys should go back to Hawthorne and pretend you never saw me.”
“Like hell,” Axel growled, rising to pace the room. “First of all, I doubt he has jack shit on any of us,” he bit out. “We run the club clean, except when we don’t, and if any motherfucker I’ve jacked up has something to say, then it’s their fucking funeral,” he growled. “As for my gran; he cuts off funding, the club will pay for it. I don’t give a fuck. What I care about is that your parents are twisted enough to pull this kind of shit. I want you back in Hawthorne where I can take care of you. I don’t like that you’ve been alone this whole time. I want you with us where nothing can touch you or Maddox,” he decreed. “No one threatens my family.”
I felt my eyes widen at the ‘his family’ part.
“He’s right, Soph,” Sal spoke up as Kat put a steadying hand on his back. She was always so good in these situations. So calming for my brother. “I understand why they scared you. But even if they had anything, I’m going to dig up enough shit to bury them both.” His eyes glowed with emotion as he spoke. He put a hand on my knee and squeezed briefly. “Come home. You belong with us.”
Tears once again filled my eyes. Could that really be true? Could we really go back?
“I’m so sorry, for everything,” my voice cracked.
“You were trying to protect us and Maddox. I get it,” Sal replied. “But, Soph, no more lies. No more secrets, yeah?”
“Yeah,” I sighed.
“All right, we gotta jet. Kat’s tired,” he spoke up, and for the first time, I noticed she looked exhausted.
I smiled at her sympathetically, remembering those days well.
“We’re flying out tomorrow. Let’s get with Cole in the morning before we leave.” Sal shot a look at Axel.
“Right,” Axel agreed.