******
Later that day, Axel dropped me and Mad off at Scarlet and Cole’s so he could take care of some ‘club shit’ as he called it.
“So how’s it going with Axel?” Scarlet asked as we sipped beers in her living room, watching Mad and Gracie get acquainted. So far, that acquaintance had consisted of Gracie toddling over and snatching any toy Maddox seemed interested in.
I wrinkled my nose and she laughed, her green eyes shining. “I don’t know, good I guess?”
“Why is that a question?” she laughed.
“He’s been amazing with Mad. He’s such a natural dad.” I looked over at Maddox and smiled, so grateful every day that my son would have a father who loved him in his life. “Living together has been okay. It’s just a little awkward sometimes,” I admitted.
“Awkward how?” she asked, rising to let their giant bullmastiff, Chief, in from outside.
“Well, he’s made it clear he wants to give things a shot. He speaks about it like it’s a forgone conclusion,” I grumbled. “He even took Maddox and me to meet his gran today. But I don’t know if I’m ready for all of this! It’s all been so sudden and he certainly didn’t seem to want me when I came to town before. I still don’t quite believe the intense change of direction, how sure he is about us. So for now, we spend a bunch of time together but we’re also kind of skirting around each other,” I tried to explain.
“Sometimes it takes something really big for our pig-headed men to understand how they feel about things.” She rolled her eyes. “It was that way for Sal, you know? He had to leave to gain perspective. For Axel, it was your leaving that did it. And, honey, trust me, it did it. That man was not the same when you left.” She shook her head.
“Really?” I gasped with surprise. I’d heard this in so many words from him, but somehow, hearing it from her made it really sink in.
“Really. You want my advice? Give it a shot, Soph. You guys have a baby together. I think you owe it to yourselves and that little man over there.” She cocked her head toward Mad.
“I hear you,” I agreed taking a sip of my drink.
“I’m so glad you’re here. We all missed you,” she added quietly.
“Me, too. I’m just hoping that giant shoe I feel every day doesn’t actually drop.” I winced, sharing the fear that kept me up every night.
She squeezed my thigh briefly and empathized, “God, I know how that feels. But what was your other option? Raising Maddox alone forever? That’s no life for you or him.” She shook her head. “You can’t live off the grid forever. Now you’ve got all of us at your front and your back, and Mad can have his daddy.”
“You’re right,” I agreed, feeling a weight I hadn’t known was there lift a little bit.
“You can have his daddy, too,” she winked before she seemed to ponder something. “Will you tell me what happened between you two…before? I have to confess, I’m sort of dying of curiosity.”
I blushed. “I’m sure you’re not the only one.”
“True,” she laughed. “I’ll keep the details to myself if you’re willing to share,” she swore with wide, expectant eyes.
I sighed and tipped my head back to the ceiling, searching for a place to start. The beginning was as good a place as any. “I was sitting out on my aunt’s front steps; it was my grandfather’s memorial service,” I began, deciding I might as well tell someone. I relived the memory in my head so many times. “I probably wasn’t supposed to even see him. Sal and Kat had left and my mother came out to berate me.” I winced. “Instead of letting me grieve, she was on my case about my outfit, about how I hadn’t introduced myself to one of my father’s colleagues. The criticism seemed to go on and on. It was awful. It had already been such an emotional day with my grandfather’s funeral and then seeing Sal and meeting Kat…” I trailed off, lost in thought. “Axel came up out of nowhere. My savior,” I laughed, though I meant every word. “He told my mother off, right there on the spot. Told her to go take that rod up her ass right back into the house and learn how to talk to her daughter.” I grinned, remembering the moment like it was yesterday. “He introduced himself as Sal’s buddy, said he’d been late to the service though I know now Sal wasn’t even supposed to know he was there at all. He asked me to go out for a drink.” I watched as Maddox squealed at Gracie. “Normally, I would have never done that – gone out with a complete stranger, but after the day I’d had, I wanted to do something that wasn’t me and he had been so protective and was gorgeous,” I sighed wistfully.
“You were a goner,” Scarlet surmised.
“Completely,” I agreed.
“We had a few drinks. I’d never experienced chemistry like we had. Not before or after him.” I shook my head. “It was so powerful. I just got caught up in it.” I shrugged, playing with the fringes of their throw pillow. “I still can’t believe I went back to his hotel. I’ve never done anything like that. There was just something about him – about us together that I couldn’t deny. It was so not me,” I laughed.
“Been there.” She nodded, confirming why she was the right person to share this with. Scarlet had a way of identifying with you on such a genuine basis.
“When we started fooling around…” I trailed off, my cheeks heating. “He said once how we should stop since I was Sal’s little sister. He seemed to feel guilty.”
I thought back to that moment where indecision had suddenly clouded his expression. I couldn’t explain the feeling, but despite being mere strangers, I’d needed him more than my next breath. For one night, I found my true self. He’d brought that out in me.
I’d been fun.
I’d been free.
In the brief time we spent together, it was as though I broke out of a suffocating cocoon. I needed him to take me – to make me fly.
“I convinced him there was no need to stop.”
“You sly minx. You seduced him!” Scarlet hooted.
Had I?
“Maybe a bit,” I admitted with a smothered grin. “But, well, I hadn’t told him it was my first time.” I blushed crimson.
“Oh, shit,” Scarlet exclaimed.
“Yeah, he, uh…well, he kind of freaked. I should have told him.” I bit my lip.
“Then what happened?” she prodded, her green eyes wide with curiosity.
“I could tell he was freaked. It was so awkward,” I groaned. “It was pretty clear he regretted it, so I didn’t stay the night with him. I left.”
“So let me get this straight; you basically coerced him into sleeping with you and then bailed on him?” she squeaked.
I hadn’t really thought about it quite like that.
“I guess,“ I muttered.
“So when you came back to town, he didn’t know what the hell to do with you, girl.” She continued to grin as though our situation was the most entertaining news she’d heard in a long time – hell, maybe it was.
I hung my head in my hands. “God, I really have no business being outside in the world,” I groaned.