Axel turned on his heel walking toward me with measured steps. His expression was difficult to read as his eyes met mine.
“What happened?” I demanded, my heart racing as I held Maddox closer. The noise and commotion around us was suddenly overwhelming. I felt like I couldn’t breathe as panic set in.
My eyes shot between my husband and my brother, beseeching one of them to tell me what the hell was going on.
“Soph,” Sal’s voice was full of sympathy and concern as he regarded me.
That really scared me. My brother was many things. Sympathetic wasn’t one of the emotions I’d seen in him before.
“Tell me what the hell is going on!” I demanded, my eyes wide.
“C’mere,” Axel coaxed as quietly as the noise in the room would allow. He took my hand leading me back toward the offices. I held Maddox with my other arm focusing on the warmth and solidity of his little body.
Sal followed us, his hands shoved in his pockets his head hung low.
“I want to take you home,” Axel stated when we’d rid ourselves of the crowd.
“You want to drive all the way home without telling me what’s happening?” I demanded incredulously.
He sighed, his hand cupping the back of his neck looking to the ceiling as though it would provide him with an answer.
Studying them both, my eyes shot between them. This wasn’t about an impending threat. No, this was something different. They were upset – for me.
Suddenly I knew.
“It’s my father, isn’t it?” I choked out with stunning clarity. My limbs began to shake when they didn’t rush to dispute me.
“Come here, buddy.” Sal held his arms out for Mad, taking his weight from me and holding him close.
I looked to Axel, my eyes imploring him as he pulled me close, his chin resting on the top of my head.
“I’m sorry, baby,” he whispered.
I squeezed my eyes shut, trying desperately to grapple with what his apology meant.
My father was dead.
The imposing, larger-than-life figure who had ruled so much of my life. He was…gone. He hadn’t been warm. He’d been distant and stern. He expected so much and gave nothing in return. He always had his own agenda that much had been made especially clear in the last year. But, he was still my dad.
I was overwhelmed with the fact that he’d been wiped from the earth.
“He’s…” I couldn’t say the words as I clutched the fabric of Axel’s t-shirt in my fist.
“Yeah, baby he’s gone. I’m sorry,” he replied, his hand clutching my hair pulling me closer.
I looked up at him through tears, surprised by his sympathy. “You’re sorry?” I queried.
“Sophie,” his voice was hoarse as his grey eyes lit with emotion peering down at me. “Does this hurt you?”
I nodded.
“Then, baby, I am sorry,” he emphasized the words, his expression pierced with sincerity.
“What happened?” I asked hoarsely.
Axel and Sal exchanged a look as though unsure what to share.
“He was killed, Soph,” Sal’s voice returned as Maddox squealed, pulling his lip.
My child’s squeal of delight was such an odd contrast to the solemnity in the room.
“Killed how?” I pressed, pulling away from Axel and crossing my arms protectively around myself.
“Murdered,” Sal admitted quietly.
I nodded numbly, tears spilling over.
“Let me take you home. I’ll tell you what I know with you wrapped up in our bed,” Axel coaxed quietly.
“I’ll follow you,” Ry was suddenly in the doorway, his expression grim. “I’ll watch this guy,” his chin lifted to Mad.
“Me too,” Jill added, stepping in behind Ry.
Clearly, news had spread.
“But this is your night,” I protested, wiping my face with the back of my hand.
“This night’s about what it means to have a family,” Ry returned. “You’re family,” he shrugged before his eyes turned to his brother. “Take her home, man. Take my bike. I’ll put Mad in your truck and be right behind you.”
Axel nodded. “Let’s go, baby,” he murmured, wrapping an arm around me and guiding me into the chilly night beyond.
As soon as we arrived home, Axel led me through the dark house to our room. He started a shower, letting the warm water steam up the space.
He undressed me without a word, his large hands finding every button, every clasp without any help from me.
He led us under the spray and held me close as the water rushed over us.
His large hands found their way into my hair as he washed it, his fingers rubbing through my scalp.
He said all he could without words. His body enshrouded mine, anchoring me while I fought against an emotional sea.
We stood under the spray until the water turned cold. Then he guided me out, drying me carefully. He led me into our dark bedroom, drawing the covers back and guiding me underneath.
I only lost him for a moment while he turned out the bathroom light and slid in to meet me.
Still we didn’t speak.
I listened to the sounds of our home, of Ryker and Jill murmuring to each other quietly in the living room.
I tried to grasp the reality that my father was gone.
“He was so awful and I’m so sad,” I admitted brokenly, finally after what must have been hours of silence.
“I know, baby,” he replied, holding me closer still.
“What happened?” I managed to ask.
The silence stretched for many long moments. “We don’t know everything yet. I can only guess that someone didn’t want the police to find him first,” he surmised grimly. “Or for our club to be able to ask him questions,” he added. “There were a lot of loose ends we wanted him to tie up including who was feeding him inside information.”
“Is my mother okay? Does she know?” I demanded.
“Sal’s checking on her now,” he assured me.
I groaned, confused and conflicted. “Why do I feel so worried? So sad? When they were nothing but awful to me and Sal?”
“I wish it were as simple as that, babe,” he sighed. “I wish you could remember that, – have it take away your pain. That’s not who you are.” He sighed.
“He didn’t want Maddox to exist, yet I can’t believe he never laid eyes on his only grandchild,” I murmured sorrowfully.
He simply pulled me tighter. Really, there were no words to soothe my chaotic emotions.
“Did the Black Riders do this?” I demanded after a few long moments.
“We don’t know,” he admitted. “Maybe,” he added hesitantly.
“If they did?” I questioned.
He sighed and I heard his hand rustle over his beard. “If they did, then it depends on why, Soph. It could mean war,” he admitted.
“That doesn’t sound good,” I squeaked out.
“No,” he agreed. “Cal is on it, along with the rest of the guys.”
“And you’re here with me,” I interjected, the realization finally dawning on me.
“Yeah,” he replied.
I pulled away from his body, looking down into his face. “You don’t want to be with them?” I asked.