His kiss stopped my words and then he rose to his feet with a feline sort of grace and said, “I’d help you up, but…”
I stood.
He bit his lip.
It wasn’t enough to rinse him off and help him into clothes and let him walk away. Not after what I’d shared with him. Not with what I felt for him.
I dried him every bit as carefully, as thoroughly, as I’d drawn him toward the orgasm that shattered him in my arms. I smoothed the soft fabric of his nightclothes over his body with the same reverence I had employed to explore it. And then I lifted him in my arms and placed him gently in his bed.
Did I want to mark him? Suck up a bruise right there in the hollow of his throat where everyone would see it?
Yes.
Instead, I kissed his brow. “Sweet dreams, Sebastian.”
He licked his lips and swallowed, probably to moisten his mouth enough to answer.
Cravenly, I quickly turned out the lights and left the room.
I had no words yet for what we’d done.
I wasn’t sure I wanted to hear him out, not yet.
All I knew was I wanted more of Sebastian Keye. More time, more sex, more of the unexpected friendship that we’d eked out of a bad situation.
The thought frightened and exhilarated me at the same time.
It wasn’t the daybed’s fault I couldn’t get to sleep, even if my feet hung off the end. No matter how many times I punched the pillows or went from one side to the other, my insomnia wasn’t because I was trying to sleep in the room where I kept my computer.
It wasn’t the little red eye on the smoke detector.
It wasn’t the placement of doors and windows, but that was a thing, right? You weren’t supposed to try to sleep with your feet pointing toward the door.
I was finally home where I belonged. I was providing a safe space for Sebastian and Molly. I could go back to the daily grind of feeding and exercising the hybrids.
I had been with Sebastian…
I put in earbuds and tried a meditation app. When that didn’t work, I’d had enough. Dressing quickly, I put on a head lamp and left the house. I took the path away from the kennels. The last thing I needed was to disturb the animals.
Leaves crunched beneath my feet. Moths drawn to my light dive-bombed me playfully. Cold made each breath fog the air.
All around me there was the fragrant clatter of aspen leaves, the trees’ tall pale trunks washed white by my artificial light against the black darkness beyond it.
I made my way toward the welcoming light from Tag and Ariel’s place, and as I got closer, I heard the baby cry. To my surprise, Tag wandered onto the deck carrying Artemis in his arms. He saw me, lifted a hand, and waved before sitting in one of their luxe padded rocking chairs.
“What are you doing outside?” I asked.
“Letting Ariel get a bit of sleep.” He sounded as tired as he looked. “This baby gig, man. Why the fuck don’t babies sleep?”
“I’m not going to insult your intelligence by asking if you fed her.”
He frowned. “Sounds like you just did.”
“And you changed her diaper?”
“I thought you weren’t going to insult my intelligence.” He pointed toward the second rocker, and I sat down gratefully.
“How’s her temperature. It’s kind of cold out here.”
“She’s warm enough,” he snapped. “You think I’d bring her out here if I didn’t bundle her up?”
I held my hands out. “Gimme.”
“Oh, so now you’re the baby whisperer?” He hesitated before giving the baby to me. “Fine. Here.”
I took the squalling, wriggling baby from him. She had on a blanket sleeper, but he hadn’t swaddled her otherwise. Maybe Artemis was one of those kids who liked to be tightly wrapped.
“Did they teach you how to Chipotle wrap these things?” I asked.
“Very funny.”
“No, I’m serious. You never saw Serena do it?” We’d found that essential, especially for Lincoln. “Some kids dig it. C’mere and watch.”
And that’s how we ended up placing the very tiny Artemis on the patio table and wrapping her like a carne asada burrito with all the trimmings.
“No, put that bit under her shoulders,” I advised. “Her arms have to be inside.”
“Like this?” he asked.
It gripped me somewhere in my DNA to see Taggart brought to his knees by a crying baby. It wasn’t just me after all. Babies were like those aliens in the movies who opened people up, crawled inside, and controlled their every thought, word, and action from then on.
“Right,” I nodded. “Okay, now the bottom edge has to come up. Tuck that behind her shoulder too. Then the side goes over all the way. Tight. Right. See how snug she is?”
He gave me a sideways glance. “They actually like this?”
“Some do. All babies are different.” My Sadie had gotten over swaddling pretty quickly, but she'd done everything quickly, from crawling to walking to talking our ears off. “For what it’s worth, mine did.”
Artemis still kicked her little legs and made fussy sounds, but she was no longer in a rage.
“I think she likes it.” He lifted her to his chest and smoothed tiny circles over her back. “Speaking of the baby, Ari and I were going to talk to you tomorrow since we didn’t have much of a chance today. We’re having Artemis’s naming ceremony on Saturday, and we’d be honored if you’d stand as one of her guardians.”
“Of course.” My heart thudded painfully. “The honor’s all mine. Are you sure this is what you want? I did a crap job in the family department.”
“You’ve still got the chance to mend what’s broken.”
“Not with Serena.”
“Right, fine, the marriage broke. But you have three kids together. You’ll always be in each other’s lives.” Tag studied Artemis’s sleeping form. “We’ve asked Serena to stand as the other guardian.”
“What?” I asked sharply. “When did you do that?”
“It's been in the works.”
“Didn’t you worry that was a recipe for disaster?”
“Serena is family. She’s good people. You know that better than anyone could. If something were to happen to me and Ari, I’d want both you and Serena in Artemis’s corner.”
“Did she agree to that? She has good reason not to trust me.” Because it was horribly true, I added, “She didn’t trust me with our kids.”
“You were spiraling out of control, and you wouldn’t get help. Since then, you’ve worked hard to get your life back, but did you ever let her see the result? She’d be the first to say, ‘Well done.’ Why are you still punishing yourself?”
“I—” Was I still punishing myself? “They probably won’t be able to forgive me.”
“You won’t know if you don’t try, you big dumbass.” He gave a disgusted huff. “Ariel and I want this. We know what’s best for our little girl.”
“All right. Of course I’ll be there. Just tell me where and when.”
“Will do.” Tag seemed relieved to have that off his chest. “So what has you wandering around in the middle of the night? Hearing the sound of a new father in crisis?”