“Yes.” She studied my face. “What are you hiding from me?”
“Nothing, okay? I just don’t want to take advantage. Can you help me tonight?”
“Of course, but I’m sure that Alastair is making it well worth the Taggarts's while to help you if you need it.”
I put down my book. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Ariel and Taggart and Stone are doing us a huge favor here. Of course Alastair wants to reciprocate with a generous donation.”
“Oh my God. It just keeps getting better and better.” I got up and went inside to my—Stone’s—room to lie down. Whiplash wasn’t a strong enough word for the push-pull Stone exerted on my emotions. To think he might only be helping because my dad offered to support the sanctuary…
Molly said he was fine with giving me showers. Knowing how he affected my body, Stone still wanted that intimacy? What about the rest of it? What about what he'd said the night before?
“Wait.” Molly followed me inside. “What’s going on here?”
“Nothing.”
“Not nothing. You’ve been unhappy all morning.”
“All right. If you want to know, I don’t need my dad buying friends for me.”
“Oh, for heaven’s sake.” She folded her arms and faced me angrily. “This better be the pain talking or the pills or postconcussion syndrome because everyone here is trying to make things as easy for you as possible. We’re your friends. No purchase required.”
“But I don’t deserve that. I crashed my cart. I ran off a cliff somehow. It’s entirely my fault I’m where I am now.”
“Then let’s get things straight.” She leaned forward, ready to let me have it with both barrels. “It’s not only about what you deserve. What about what we deserve? Obviously I’m not equipped to see where the ledges are or how to talk you off them because I nearly lost you. Have you thought for one second about how that would have affected me?”
“Oh, Molly…” Hearing her say the words was like running full-tilt into a brick wall. “I’m—”
“We all nearly lost you.” She drew herself up like a queen of old and poked me hard in the chest. “And you don’t get to tell us how to feel about that.”
She left the room. Maybe she left the house. It seemed awfully silent after our argument. I napped off and on until dark. No one came to my room or called me for supper.
I didn’t feel hungry anyway.
I didn’t feel a thing.
Chapter Nineteen
Stone
After weeks at sea level in California, working with the dogs exhausted me. It could have been the altitude or the exertion I wasn’t used to, but I was also likely depressed. Morrigan stuck close by my side later when I grabbed a bite to eat and lay down for a quick nap.
Either I forgot to set the alarm on my phone or I’d turned it off and gone back to sleep, but it was past dark when I opened my eyes again.
What woke me?
Water, running in the master bathroom, and the sound of voices, Molly’s and Sebastian’s, drew me like a magnet. Morrigan followed.
“There’s nothing there I haven’t seen before,” she said hotly.
“Argh. Just give me a hand towel.”
“Even if you get a boner, I promise I won’t get ideas.”
“Molly—”
“Hey. It’s me.” I tapped on the door before entering.
Sebastian’s face caught fire.
“Thank God you’re here, Stone.” Molly gave an exasperated sigh. “I didn’t want to wake you, but yon hothead doesn’t think it’s appropriate for a gently bred young lady such as myself to see his manly bits.”
“Molly,” he groaned.
“I’ve got this,” I told her. “You can go.”
“With puh-leasure.” She stopped in the doorway. “I will be having a glass of wine and reading one of your Armageddon books.”
“Morrigan.” I got the dog’s attention. “Out. Go with Molly.”
“C’mere, Morrigan.” Sending a wounded look my way, Morrigan followed Molly out, and the door closed behind them.
“You don’t have to do this.”
“I said I would help you.”
“I know. Molly mentioned that my dad promised to support the sanctuary in return.”
“Shit. So of course you think that’s the only reason.”
Sebastian gave a shocked gasp. “I do not.”
“See? Even you don’t believe that shit.”
Sebastian bit his lip.
“Think about it for a minute,” I said before retaping one of his plastic sleeves. “Did what happened between us last night seem to be about money to you?”
“No.” He plopped into the plastic shower chair, head down, expression adorably pouty. “But no one likes a pity fuck.”
“Actually, I’m pretty sure some people do.” I turned on the water and adjusted the temperature, but before turning it on him, I kneeled so we were eye-to-eye. “I know that what I said last night hurt you. I’m sorry if it felt like some kind of rejection.”
“You were just being honest,” he argued. “I’m the one—”
“Let me finish, please.” I searched for the right words. “What happened between us was spontaneous and special. You made me see myself in a new way. It changed things for me. But I never in my life considered being someone’s Daddy in a romantic relationship—”
“I’m sorry I brought it up. I won’t ever—”
“Do I have to wedge a washcloth in your mouth to get you to be quiet and let me finish?” Sebastian shook his head. “Right now, thinking of myself as someone's romantic Daddy makes me feel horrible about how badly I handled things with my kids. The word Daddy brings up a truckload of emotions that aren’t at all compatible with…whatever this is.”
He lowered his lashes. “I’m really sorry, Stone.”
“On the other hand, there are things…certain nurturing type things…that I truly enjoy with you. Very much.”
“Yeah?” His beguiling gray eyes opened wide.
“Don’t get a big head.” I gave his forehead a light tap with the tip of my finger. “Because now I have a huge and pressing problem.”
“What?” he asked.
“For anything between us to have a chance of growing, I’m going to need to fix some of the relationships I broke. I need closure with Serena, I want to recommit to my kids, and I don’t know what or how long that’s going to take.”
“I see.” He folded his hands carefully. “You should take all the time you need.”
“In the meantime, I never want you to feel like my help is some burden I’m carrying or that it’s in return for a donation from your dad. It’s not like that. I’m not that guy.”
He stared at me for a long time before nodding. “I believe you.”
“Do you think maybe I could take care of your needs without putting a name on it for now?”