I stood, understanding what he needed. I opened my arms to catch her, to prevent her from clinging to Gil. It felt wrong to separate them. So, so cruel. “We just have to be patient, Olive. He’ll—”
“No!”
I clutched her close, bending down to kiss her temple. “Remember what we talked about? How Dad will be home soon? And then you’ll be together forever. This is the last time you guys have to be apart, okay? But you have to be strong.”
Olive sniffed. “I don’t want to be strong. I just want him to come home.”
Gil swallowed back agony as another buzzer went. “I’ll come home soon, Olive Oyl. I promise.” Kissing her cheek, he looked at me with every weight of the world. “Thank you for coming, O. I’m sorry we didn’t have a chance to talk.”
He went to touch me.
A guard came toward him.
He sighed and followed the other prisoners through the door.
His gaze never left us until he was gone.
Chapter Thirty-Three
______________________________
Gil
“JUSTIN...IT’S ME.”
Justin swallowed a mouthful of food, surprise in his voice. “How are you calling me, Clark? It’s in the middle of the day.”
“Prison allows phone calls.” I’d deliberately called during the week, and on his office line. This was a conversation just for us, and I couldn’t afford to be weak and not do what I should’ve done a long time ago.
In reality, I’d already made this offer.
In a text while walking through a forest with an unconscious O in my arms.
“True, yeah. Cool. Hey, do you want me to get Olive? She’s in the empty office next to me, drawing. She wasn’t quite up for school today, but she’s going tomorrow. She promised.”
Fuck.
Poor thing.
So many things to adapt to and accept.
Me gone. Justin her guardian. Returning to school after so long away.
I worried that she’d be picked on and held back. That a teacher would touch her like one had touched me. Familiar rage and fear crested through me, and I couldn’t swallow it back.
I just had to hope Justin was vigilant and wouldn’t accept her silence for an answer if she started to shut down.
“Don’t get her. This is just a quick call.”
“Okay...what’s up?” His voice turned serious. “Everything going okay in there? You safe?”
I nodded, even though he couldn’t see me. “Yeah, it’s fine.”
“You don’t sound fine.”
“All good.” I sidestepped the question. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to be honest, but he didn’t need to know about the beatings I’d already taken or the threats. Other inmates didn’t believe I wasn’t involved with the girls’ murders and dished out their own punishment.
I’d held my own.
I’d find my rank in the hierarchy.
Eventually.
“I didn’t call to talk about me.”
“Okay...what did you call to talk about?” His voice changed, turning wary.
As he should.
I couldn’t seem to stop asking this guy for goddamn favours. “First, how is Olive? She all right?”
Justin cleared his throat. “As well as can be expected. She’s still guarded around me at night, when it’s just us. I don’t push her, though. She’s much better when O stays over.”
My heart stopped beating. “She what?”
“Yeah, sorry, mate. I wanted to tell you but didn’t know how. I wasn’t coping the first few nights with Olive’s nightmares. O seems to have a magic touch and agreed to help Olive adjust.” He cleared his throat, pausing for a second. “Look, you should know that I asked O to move in with me.” He rushed as if terrified that I’d throttle him through the phone line. “Her lease is almost up, she hates her job, and she’s at a total crossroads on what to do with her life. While she figures out that shit, I invited her to stay with Olive and me. To help ease everyone into this new routine, you know?” He kept talking, not giving me a chance to interrupt. “You know O is thinking of travelling. At least this way she can save up some money before she goes. And...I can keep an eye on her for you. I know you’ll worry about her, and if she does move in with me for a little while, you can relax knowing I have both of your girls safe.”
He stopped.
The line crackled.
He asked cautiously, “Eh, Gil...you still there?”
I rubbed my face. “Yeah, I’m here.”
“You...okay with what I just said.”
“I’m okay as long as my daughter is happy. O doesn’t belong to me anymore. She can stay wherever she wants.”
“Okay...great.”
I sighed heavily. I’d sounded like a bastard. I sounded as if I was jealous. Justin had just proven why this phone call was the best choice for all of us. He’d already taken the step toward the future I was willing to give up in gratitude for his help.
Squeezing the back of my neck, I asked softly, “Is there anything I can do?”
As if I could do anything trapped inside here, but I had to offer. Had to try.
Justin sighed. “Honestly, mate. Just get out early on good behaviour. Come back to your kid as fast as you can.”
“I’ll do my best, believe me.” I was still shocked I’d only received five years. It felt like an eternity but also didn’t feel long enough. I knew that was the guilt talking, but still...life had finally been kind to me and I didn’t know how to accept it.
Looking at the dirty clock, fully aware that my phone privileges were running out, I said as firmly and as genuinely as I could, “Look, I’m glad you asked O to move in with you. You’re a good bloke, Miller. And...your offer makes why I called easier.” I laughed under my breath. “It’s not fucking easy. It’s the hardest thing I’ll ever do, but...it seems fate is one step ahead of me.”
“Oh?” He cleared his throat. “What are you trying to say?”
“I have another favour to ask.” I groaned, leaning against the wall where the bank of telephones hung. “The last one I hope, but it’s still another bloody favour.”
Justin chuckled. “You don’t need to feel so bad about asking, Clark. That’s what friendship is.”
I didn’t want to argue again about friendship and how one-sided ours had always been. I didn’t have the luxury of not asking, even though it would tear out my heart once and for all.
It wasn’t really a favour.
It was an offer.
Fucking permission even though neither of them needed it.
It was just my way of coming to terms with everything.
Accepting my future.
“If O does travel, then I’m glad. I want her to be happy and won’t stand in her way.”
“And if she doesn’t? If she stays in town?” Justin’s suspicion bled through the phone line.
This was it.
No going back.
My knuckles tightened around the phone. “If she doesn’t, if she moves in with you and finds happiness under your roof with you and my daughter...then...I give you my blessing to love her. Make her yours. Be together. Get married. Just...be happy.”