Us and home.
So they were together, and they shared a home.
“Yeah, mate.” Justin shoved his hands into his suit pockets. “You’re welcome anytime. You know that. The couch is super comfy. I can vouch for it.”
Justin only had a two-bedroom place.
Olive had one.
O most likely had the other.
And if Justin wasn’t couch surfing anymore...that meant he and O shared a room.
And a bed.
Fuck.
I hadn’t wanted to jump to conclusions, but it became impossible not to.
“That’s very kind of you, guys, but...” I let Olive go, my feet backing up and putting distance between us. “I have my own place.”
Stop being an ungrateful prick.
This was the price I’d been willing to pay.
So pay it.
“Besides, I’ve already been far too much of an imposition.”
“You’ve never be an imposition, Gil.” O’s eyes burned. “You know that.”
I didn’t know what to say or how to deal with the wave of emotion emitting from her. My skin prickled, my heart begged, life felt empty knowing I’d lost her.
But it wasn’t empty.
It was full because I’d paid my sins, my conscience was clear, and for the first time, I had everything to look forward to.
Olive was safe.
I was free to protect her the way she deserved.
Free to spoil her, raise her, and love her until she became an adult in her own right.
That was what I focused on.
That was what I was grateful for.
I forced another grin. “I better let you guys go—”
“But you just got here.” Olive pouted. “I want longer than the stupid fifteen minutes in prison.”
“Yeah, Clark. You can’t go yet.” Justin smoothed his suit. “Tell you what, we need to celebrate! Let’s go out. Have a drink. Catch up. All of us.”
Olive bounced on the spot. “Yay! Let’s go.”
O sucked in a breath.
My every cell was attuned to her. She flinched as if going out to eat with me wasn’t tolerable. “I don’t know. You probably have a million and one things to do—”
“Nope. Done for the day,” Justin interrupted. “Let’s go to dinner.”
“Dinner is hours away, silly.” Olive wrinkled her nose. “I’ve only just finished school.”
Justin held out his hand, letting Olive slap it as if he deserved being told off. “Okay, smartypants, call it a late lunch or pre-dinner. How about a lunner? Does that work? You know...like breakfast and lunch are combined to make brunch? Lunner.”
He shrugged as O groaned, rolling her eyes. “What? It’s a legitimate question.”
“You’re so weird.” Olive giggled.
“Takes one to know one.”
O laughed. “Both of you are weird.”
“You’re weirder,” Justin shot back.
“I have to be to put up with you two.” O’s gaze sparkled with contentment.
The trio of togetherness while I watched in envy.
The ease between them.
The connection that’d grown while I’d been locked away.
I stood quietly, not sure how to untangle myself from this family. Not sure how to claim back my daughter when she’d found something so special. And most of all, unsure how I could cope after losing both girls of my heart to a guy who deserved to be loved as much as he was.
Justin cleared his throat, noticing my stiffness. He tapped the top of the bronze sedan beside him. “Everyone pile in. Let’s move this party to somewhere cooler than a pavement.”
O inched toward me, hesitating before threading her arm through mine.
The second she touched me, my body reacted.
My heart pounded.
My blood gushed.
The chemistry and electricity that always punished us sprang into full force.
I shuddered. I couldn’t breathe.
O murmured, “You’ll come eat with us...won’t you, Gil?”
There was that word again.
Once upon a time, I’d fought against such a promise. I’d told her there could never be an us because I was hiding so many goddamn things.
Now that word belonged to them, not me.
Shit.
Olive hugged me from the other side, putting me in the centre of an affection sandwich. I couldn’t stand much more before I broke, so I untangled myself and said the simplest thing. The thing guaranteed to avoid an argument but also destined to destroy me. “Sure. Dinner would be nice.”
And it would be.
Dinner out in the real world with my child and friends would be better than nice.
I just had to rein in my heart and force it to get the memo that O was off-limits.
“Great.” O smiled.
My nervous system disagreed as O strolled to the car. Returned to Justin. Left me.
I drank in the way she moved. The dancer’s grace that still ran in her blood. The kindness that was visible around her, a softness that made her ever more stunning.
I fell deeper into love with her when I should’ve been schooling myself into platonic boundaries.
Justin opened the door for Olive as she hopped in the back. O went to sit in the back with her but I leaped into action and ripped open the front door. “Please. I’ll take the back.”
“You sure?”
“Yeah. It’ll be fun hanging with, what did Justin call her? The pipsqueak?”
Olive piped up from inside the car. “I’m not a pipsqueak anymore. I grew.”
O chuckled and slipped into the car. “She has many nicknames these days. Pest being a favourite one.”
“You’re the pest.” Olive stuck out her tongue. “The best pest.”
O laughed again and I hid my gratefulness of their care and the agony of what I’d missed out on. Falling into the car, I forced a grin at my daughter. “I can see pest suiting you.”
“You know nothing.” She arched her chin, flicking her hair smugly.
I know some things, little spinach.
I know that I love you.
And O.
And you’ve both moved on.
And I know I’ll do whatever it takes to not jeopardize the happiness you’ve found.
Justin turned the car on and switched into gear. “All in? Let’s go.”
Chapter Thirty-Seven
______________________________
Olin
HOW COULD DOING something as mundane as going to a restaurant be equally strenuous and enjoyable?
I couldn’t stop looking at Gil.
Couldn’t stop pinching myself that he was out and free and back.
Nineteen months served.
An eternity for all of us.
Yet...it felt like yesterday that he’d painted me and we’d slept together and I’d vowed that I’d never turn my back on him.
Each time I’d visited him with Olive, I’d wanted to tell him that I would wait. That we weren’t over. That I’d forgiven him and accepted that whatever madness we shared was worth fighting for.
That I finally knew I belonged to him, with him, and always had.
I wouldn’t give that up.
For anything.
But each visit, I kept my secret.
Until one day, I no longer knew if he even wanted me in that way anymore. He’d given me no sign that he hungered for me. His smiles were warm but reserved. His animation and energy given to Olive while I was just his daughter’s chaperone.