I appreciated why he’d pulled away.
In his mind, we’d said goodbye that night in my apartment.
And I’d moved in with Justin.
“What did they feed you in jail?” Olive asked, sucking on the paper straw in her raspberry coke.
Gil raked a hand through his hair, looking ruggedly handsome. His messy dark locks were just as wild. His eyes just as piercing. He ought to have looked older thanks to almost two years in prison, yet whatever demons had hounded him had gone.
He no longer looked wary of the world or on guard to everyone around him.
He looked like the boy I’d fallen in love with.
“Bland, boring things mainly.” He twisted in his chair, facing his adorable daughter. “They need a proper chef.”
“I can cook okay.” Olive stirred her straw. “O taught me how to bake banana muffins the other day.”
“You did?” Gil’s gaze caught mine.
My heart fluttered.
“I can’t take the credit. The cookbook did all the work. We just followed the recipe.”
“They were pretty tasty, though,” Justin said, sipping an ice-cold pint. “Ten out of ten.”
“Yeah, and you ate them all.” Olive pretended to frown. “You didn’t leave any for me.”
“You’re forgetting you ate three, you glutton. I only had two.”
“Oh yeah? I think you should go back to school and learn how to count.” Olive giggled.
“I’m an accountant, little pest. I know how to count. And you had three.” Justin winked at Gil. “That’s why she’s grown so much. She’s a piggy.”
Gil laughed, sounding strained, almost as if he wished like hell he’d had the stupid volley match with Olive.
I worried we’d overstepped. Feared Gil would think we’d replaced him just because we bantered a lot.
In the months we’d all lived together, I’d come to love Olive to the point of disaster. If her father held my soul, she held my heart undoubtedly. I was unbelievably happy Gil was back, but if I was honest, I was also terrified.
Terrified of losing Olive.
Of losing the family Justin, she, and I had created.
I hadn’t been lonely with them.
I hadn’t been lost.
Gil would always be a missing piece of me but I’d found enough to be happy. That was another reason I hadn’t needed to travel. I’d found contentment in the very same city where all my dreams had shattered.
“I’ll bake you some, Dad.” Olive touched Gil’s forearm on the table. “And you can have all of them. Justin gets none.”
“Meanie.” Justin wiped a fake tear from his cheek. “I get it. Now your dad’s back, I’m forgotten.” He laughed, but it held the same thread of fear I felt.
We both struggled.
Both ecstatic that Gil was home.
Both afraid that Gil was home.
Olive blew a kiss to Justin across the table. “I won’t forget about you. Ever.”
“Ah, shucks.” Justin smiled, deeply genuine and relieved. “I’m going to hold you to that. I expect weekly hangouts. And daily updates.”
“Wait...are-are you kicking me out?” Olive squeaked.
Justin glanced at me, panic in his eyes. “Of course not. I just figured with your dad back you’d want to—”
“Olive wanted to check with you guys first,” Gil cut in. “I have my own place. I’m earning an income.” He swallowed hard, taking a sip of his lemonade and avoiding my stare.
His abhorrence for alcohol hadn’t changed in prison then. He still hated liquor. I doubted I’d ever catch him drunk again.
Gil rushed, “But I don’t expect Olive to move out if you’re not comfortable with that. If you guys are happy, then...I’m happy for her to keep living with you.”
Everything in my chest ached.
He was once again willing to sacrifice the most important person in his world. He’d sacrificed me. He’d sacrificed Olive. He did it out of love, but I worried Olive might take it as if he didn’t want her enough to fight for her.
Justin leaned forward, the green velvet bench seat we shared creaking under his weight. He looked seriously at Olive, asking her as an adult for her decision. “What do you want, Olive Oyl? You have three grown-ups wrapped around your little finger, so you get to choose.”
She bit her lip, her gaze dancing from Gil to me to Justin and back again.
The ancient pub where we sat hugged us with smoke and stale beer. The low beams and dark walls cocooned us, making it seem like it was midnight and not late afternoon.
This was one of the few places still open and serving food at three-thirty in the afternoon. And in a way, it was fitting. A pub this old held so many secrets. Lives had changed, and friendships were tested, all hidden within its protection.
Just like now.
“Um...” Olive’s eyes widened, feeling the pressure.
She loved Justin.
She loved me.
Those two facts I knew without a doubt.
But she would never love anyone as much as she loved her father, and that was exactly how it should be.
“It’s okay, Olive. You don’t need to rush. And you don’t need to decide right away. Everything will work out, you’ll see.” I nodded in encouragement. “We’re all family. Always will be.”
Gil sucked in a breath.
Olive relaxed a little.
Justin picked up his beer and held it out for a toast. “To family.”
Gil clinked his lemonade, Olive tapped her raspberry coke, and I raised my wine glass. “Family.”
We all drank, sharing a tentative smile, all of us wondering what the future held.
Justin broke the tension by asking Gil, “So, you’ve been out for a few weeks, got your business back on track, and found a place. What else have you been up to?”
Gil slouched in his chair, comfortable with the easier topic. “I started my community service two weeks ago. I go every other day for a few hours.”
“Oh yeah? What do they have you doing?”
“Last week, I helped out at a cattery. The week before that I helped move heavy furniture around a Salvation Army store. I think next week I’ll be on food prep somewhere downtown at a shelter.”
“Enjoying it?”
Gil nodded. “Actually, yeah. Seeing things I wouldn’t necessarily see has been great for creative inspiration. It sucks to witness the hardships of others, but watching the other side of society has been beneficial. It’s been almost healing to paint their sadness.”
“I get that.” Justin swigged back his beer. “Bet it’s nice to be painting again. And not teaching untalented convicts.”
He smiled. “It was actually kind of rewarding teaching. A lot of inmates found it calming. Teaching the class was probably a reason I was allowed out so early on good behaviour. Rehabilitation comes in many forms.”
Gil’s gaze caught mine, trapping me in the green icy depths like only he could. “It didn’t escape me that I actually started to enjoy it, after despising teachers all my life. Ironic that I found satisfaction in being the one thing I hated.”
Hated one teacher in particular.
Jane Tallup who did her best to ruin him.
I’d stalked her online.