Truth had always been brutal, but now it cleaved me into pieces. “Look, O, if you came here to tell me you don’t want to love me anymore, that’s fine. I get it. But we can work out Olive’s schedule without—”
“Stop.” Placing her hand over my pounding, aching heart, she murmured, “Not telling you I was still in love with you was my one selfish choice. I wanted to feel no obligation or expectation by announcing that I would wait. I wanted to wait...for me, not you. I wanted the freedom to change my mind. I needed the space to choose you without feeling trapped.” Her lips tipped into a shy smile. “You know...that’s the first time I’ve been honest with myself too. I always made up excuses about why I hadn’t told you. That I didn’t know if you felt the same way anymore. That it wasn’t the right time or place. That our complicated past meant our future could never work. But none of that matters because...it’s always been you.”
I shivered. “But...what about Justin?”
O spread her hands with a shrug. “What about him? I love Justin. He’s one of the kindest, sweetest, most uncomplicated people I know. He’s been so good to me, Olive, and you. Yes, I moved in with him because it made financial sense and because Olive was more comfortable having both of us there. But at no point has there ever been a romantic entanglement—even when we were kids. He always knew how I felt about you. He knew there was never anyone else for me.”
A bright smile lit up her face. “You can ask him. He started dating a woman called Chloe a few months ago. She’s super nice. Don’t think it’s going to last the distance, as she’s a little too independent for a guy like Justin who just wants to dote, but it’s nice to see him with someone.”
She sighed again. “So...you see, I’m not with Justin. And you don’t have to feel guilty for wanting me. You have me. You’ve always had me and—”
I didn’t let her finish.
I grabbed her, wrapped her in my arms and kissed her.
Her spine melted.
Her body liquefied in my embrace. And her mouth opened, welcoming me to kiss her deeper, harder, forever.
Heads dancing. Tongues licking.
I couldn’t get enough.
The chains around my heart broke away. Padlocks shattered. Ropes unbound. All the restrictions I’d placed on myself vanished the longer we kissed.
There was something special about this kiss.
Something new and honest and true.
This was real.
Real and promising eternity.
Her heart pounded against mine as I tripped backward, needing every part of her.
Immediately.
Now.
Unable to keep kissing her and navigating my new place, I scooped her into my arms, and stormed into my bedroom.
O shivered as I placed her onto the bed.
A bed.
We’d connected in so many erotic ways. With paint smearing us and cameras recording us, but we’d never done it somewhere that promised romance as well as sex. Somewhere that gave us the freedom to fall into each other, rather than drown out the love with the noise of why we couldn’t.
Her hands landed on my chest, her fingernails scraping down my belly. Her touch ran over the scar from Jeffrey shooting me, and banished the last remaining bad memories. Maybe I’d get a tattoo like hers—colour and design that was already a part of me to cover up the ugly scars and mistakes of my past.
But then again, those mistakes had made me worthy.
Worthy of my soul-mate.
My mouth crushed hers again.
I kissed her.
And kissed her.
I kissed her with the softness I’d always wanted to treat her with. The respect, the worship, the undying affection where every touch bled with permanence.
I’d never experienced softness.
Never allowed myself to relax or trust enough to give myself entirely to another.
The sensation of falling into her and out of me, of creating something new together, wrapped around my heart and squeezed. It squeezed with joy and euphoria and a crushing amount of regret.
Regret at not experiencing this overwhelming closeness before.
Of not realising just how special our connection was when we were younger—before I almost ruined everything.
My pulse pounded as our kiss took on another dimension.
Of longing and longevity.
I would kiss this woman for the rest of my life and never get tired of her, never stop wanting her or being so fucking grateful that she waited.
That she had an endless well of forgiveness and strength to put up with all my mistakes.
She moaned as my fingers trailed to her belly, lifting her white t-shirt over her head and breaking our kiss. Hating the distance, I unzipped her jeans and shimmied them down her legs before kissing her again.
Our lips never stopped touching as I removed her bra, socks, and underwear.
Only once she was naked, did I stop.
I pulled away, looking down at her hair tousled on my bed, her perfect breasts rising and falling with erratic breath, and her lips red and swollen from mine.
She was the most perfect thing I’d ever seen.
And she belonged to me as surely as I belonged to her.
It wasn’t a matter of possession.
It was a matter of undeniability.
Of two souls being one.
“My turn,” she breathed. Arching up, she tugged my t-shirt over my head and unbuckled my belt.
I shuddered as her touch skimmed over my bare flesh.
I’d never get over how reactive I was to her. How much I craved her. How much I fucking loved her.
Her hands looked so delicate as she pushed aside my jeans, and I shifted to shove them down my legs. No boots, no socks, they slipped off the bed, leaving me in my boxer-briefs.
Her fingers wrapped around my erection, her skin hot even through the cotton.
“Wait.” I clutched her wrist, my heart racing.
Her eyes flared. “Why?”
The urge to rock into her hand made me grit my teeth. I squeezed my eyes closed, doing my best to scrape together the last remnants of my self-control. “We do this, and there is no going back. Until death do us part, O.”
Her hand fisted me, fierce and possessive. “No more secrets. No more sacrifices.”
I bared my teeth. “No more being apart.”
“I’m okay with that.” Her grin was light-hearted even while everything about me was heavy. My blood was heavy. My desire heavy. My promise to always protect her heavy with utmost honesty.
I kissed her again, shuddering as she shoved down my boxer-briefs, and our skin connected bare to bare.
Heat. Softness. Overwhelming need.
Her hand found my cock again, this time without cotton separating us. She squeezed me, stroking up and down. My head tipped forward as I lay on top of her, trapping her arm between us, smothering her with my weight.
Our eyes locked. My heart overflowed. The past meant nothing because this was where I earned everything I ever wanted. Olive was safe. My soul was healed. And O still loved me.
Despite everything.
“I need you, Gil.” She rubbed against me, her touch tightening in command.
My own hand slipped between her legs, finding her wet and wanting.
She cried out as I pierced two fingers inside her, claiming her, tormenting her.
I kissed her, harsh and dominating as her hips worked up and into my control. My own hips worked into her hand, both desperate to connect, impatient and hungry.