There’s nothing but silence and space between us. Nathalie wraps her arms around herself, staring blankly at the ground. She looks so small and broken.
The silence becomes insufferable. I will take rage and cruel words. I will take anything but this.
“Please, say somethin’,” I beg.
She lifts her head and I see her eyes glimmering with unshed tears as she gives me a cordial smile. “You will make a wonderful father.”
“Nathalie, please,” I croak and reach out for her.
She steps away and blinks back her tears. “Please, what?”
I’m losing her, just as I knew I would. This was inevitable, but her actions gut me in ways I can’t describe.
You deserve this. If she never speaks to you again, you deserve it.
“I’m so sorry,” I whisper. “This… this is not what I envisioned for us…” My words fade away. I can’t seem to finish them.
Nat takes another step back and shakes her head as though she can’t hear the unspoken words. She stares at her laced fingers, making it impossible for me to see her face. “But it’s how it will be.”
“Nathalie, you are everythin’ to me. My world is you.”
At that, her head snaps up in my direction. “Yet you are married, and your wife is pregnant.” Nat begins to pace the length of my office with her hands on her hips. In true Lacroix fashion, her dark brows are slashed down as she furiously thinks. Abruptly, she turns, shaking her head and staring at me with disappointment. “When we were…” she stops talking, and swallows before she starts again, “when we were… together, did you know the entire time, she was pregnant?”
I’m shaking my head before Nat can finish her sentence. “God, no.”
Nat closes her eyes as she nods. Her fingers rub her temples slowly.
“Juliet told me when I came home from Belgrave,” I confess.
Nat darkly laughs. “When you came home,” she repeats. She nods, seeming to process my words, when suddenly she lifts her head. “How far along is she?”
“I’m uncertain,” I answer truthfully. I’ve been painfully honest the entire time, why lie now?
Nathalie scowls. I wait for another question from her but when none arrive, I sense our time is ending. As terrible as this conversation may be, a part of me clings to it, because I know it might be my last with Nathalie for quite some time.
She gives me one last look and begins to walk to the door.
I lunge for her, grabbing her arm. “Nathalie, wait.”
She turns, her eyes shattered. “Asa, no, I can’t.”
“I’m sorry,” I whisper raggedly. Tentatively, I reach out and cup her face between my hands. My thumbs brush across her cheeks.
Nat closes her eyes and exhales. We stand there, our foreheads nearly touching, when Nathalie whispers back, “I’m sorry, too.”
She steps out of my grasp, and I let her. My hands fall to my sides as I watch her walk quietly out of the room. The door softly shuts behind her.
With my heart pounding in my chest, I look around my office and try to regain control of myself. Everything is still in its rightful place, but nothing is the same. Nothing will ever be the same.
I turn to my desk, staring at the perfectly organized items with misplaced resentment. With a roar, I reach out with both hands and sweep everything off the surface. Papers flutter around as I pant for breath.
I can lose Nathalie, this time, maybe for good. No, I cannot.
I will not.
Turning away from my upended office, I stalk to the window. I open the blinds and watch a bird perch itself on the tree just outside my window.
As I watch the bird, my breathing steadies. When I told Nathalie we were each other’s homes, I meant it.
Me and my Lady Gouldian will always find our way find back to one another…
Acknowledgements
Thank you to YOU, the reader. The world of Belgrave is one that I hold close to my heart. When I see the messages, edits and comments it makes my heart swell. It means everything to me that you are invested in these characters.
I can’t thank my beta readers enough: Talon, Alyssa, Azalia, Melissa, Kim, and Allie. Thank you ladies for taking the time to read Nat’s story.
MAC Pack- I don’t know what I’d do without you two. You understand when I go silent for an insane length of time and welcome me back as though no time passed. I can’t wait to see you both again.
Ms Betty’s Design Studios- thank you for the phenomenal graphics! You did an amazing job.
Kim and Michelle- my proofreader extraordinaries. I am so grateful for you two.
Michelle and Annette from Book Nerd Services- there are not enough thank yous for the both of you. Your hard work doesn’t go unnoticed.
Clarise from CT Cover Creations- Once again you delivered another stand-out cover. My jaw always hits the floor when I see what you create!
Rebecca from Fairest Reviews and Editing Services- Finding an editor is easy. It’s finding one to properly fit your needs that’s the hard part. Thank you for being so understanding with me. I know my story is in good hands with you.
Juliana from Jersey Girls Design- Your creativity astounds me. I love working with you. Plus no one has the patience for a la Calia style.
And lastly, my husband- no book is complete without you. You are always by my side, giving me support when I need it, and watching the kids when I need to finish a book. Air five. I love you.
About The Author
College seemed like too much stress for me. Traveling across the world, getting married, and having five kids seemed much more relaxing. Yeah, I’m still waiting for the relaxing part to kick in...I change addresses every other year. It’s not by choice but it is my reality. While the crazies of life kept me busy, the stories in my head decided to bubble to the surface. They were dying to be told and I was dying to tell them. I hope you enjoy escaping to the crazy world of these characters with me!!
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