Nathalie turned in my arms, allowing me to hold her face between my hands. I brushed my thumb along her lower lip. “Perhaps in a few short days?”
“That seems long. Tomorrow, okay?”
“Even better.”
I had no strength or resolve when it pertained to Nathalie. Truthfully, I never had, but it didn’t matter because she was Étienne’s little sister. When she was younger, I knew how to define her.
Now, the role she played in my life was far different than what I was accustomed to. I didn’t know what her role was. I couldn’t call her a friend. I cared for her deeply, and I had never desired a friend like this. But did I love her?
I’d never seen or experienced love in my life to truly understand it. How would I know?
My father once said, No one can love you the way you are.
Not once had I tried to see if his statement was wrong. Part of me was terrified to discover that he was right.
We finalized our words with one last quick kiss. Which led to another quick kiss, and another, and another, and another. Soon we came back together for a slow, lingering kiss that had Nat softly moaning.
“I wondered why you left so early,” a voice said behind us.
I didn’t know what was worse. That there was someone behind us, or that I recognized the voice in question.
Nat gasped and tried to turn, but I had my arms around her, hiding her from whoever was there.
But if it is who I thought it was, we were both doomed.
I looked over my shoulder and appraised my friend. “Good evenin’, Pleas,” I solemnly greeted.
Miles arched a brow and stepped deeper into the room. Slowly, I lowered my arms from her. “Nat, it’s lovely to see you.”
Swallowing, Nat took a small step back from me, as though the distance would, somehow, convince Pleas we were doing nothing. She dipped her head and gave Pleas a weak smile.
Miles directed his attention to me, all traces of kindness gone. “Can I speak with you for a moment?”
Briefly, I glanced at Nat. With her arms tightly folded around her midsection. She looked scared, like a wounded animal ready to take flight at any moment.
This was all my fault. I knew better, and yet, I still did what I wanted. I leaned down and whispered in her ear, “You will be all right. I won’t let anythin’ happen to you.”
Nat nodded, and gave me the same weak smile when she thought she had to go to New York and live with her Aunt Christine. Only this time, it was my fault.
Miles looked between Nathalie and me. “If Étienne finds out, he will kill you.”
“I know that,” I replied, soberly.
“Then stop.”
Didn’t he know? I couldn’t.
Perhaps the truth was written across my face because Miles groaned and dragged his hands through his hair before he muttered a curse.
“Have a care. There’s a lady present,” I said, gesturing to Nat.
Miles dropped his hands, looking dumbfounded at me. “Now you care about decorum? If I hadn’t had walked up on the two of you when I did, you would have to marry her!”
“Hey!” I growled and advanced toward my friend.
“No, no, no!” Nat objected, coming between the two of us.
She held her hands against my chest and gave me an imploring look.
Immediately, I backed down. I had never fought with Miles. I had never had a reason to. But Nathalie was my reason.
Once the two of us took a deep breath, Nathalie slowly lowered her arms and stepped away. “I don’t care if my brother finds out. This is my choice. I am not a child, and I am free to do as I please.”
Miles barely looked at Nathalie. He was too busy, glaring at me. “Nat, you’re a young woman,” he said quietly. “You don’t know what you want or what’s out there. Asa does. He’s had the chance. I believe you should have the same opportunity.”
Everything Miles said made sense. I had no rebuttal than the desire I felt for Nat, the uncontrollable urge to be with her any chance I could get. But that was sheer selfishness.
“That’s not true, Pleas.” Nathalie rushed forward and grabbed a hold of Miles’ arm. Before I saw her at her debutante ball, before I kissed her, I wouldn’t have thought twice of the gesture. Now I wanted to tackle my best friend and tell him she was mine.
What was happening? When had everything changed?
Pleas patted Nat’s arm before he disengaged. “Nat, I like you. If it wasn’t for you, Rainey would be out there runnin’ free with a pack of wolves. Somehow, you’ve managed to civilize her. But this cannot continue.”
Nathalie shook her head at Miles. She looked at me. When I didn’t object to Miles’ words, tears filled her eyes. I had never felt as helpless and broken as I did right now.
“Do you feel the same?” Nathalie asked me.
I swallowed and didn’t say a word.
“Do you feel the same? Should we continue?” Nathalie asked, her voice rising with each word.
Slowly, I shook my head because I knew if I spoke, I would say yes.
The heartbreak in Nat’s eyes would live with me forever. Tears spilled down her cheeks, and I took a step forward. It was instinctive. I wanted to help her. But she held a hand out and went to Miles. Seeing her step back into his arms made my hands curl into fists. It wasn’t right. She was mine! I took another step forward.
“Don’t,” she warned.
Miles began to walk her to the door. Before they left, he gave me a regretful look. Our friendship would remain intact because he didn’t want to be here. He didn’t want to witness this, any more than I wanted to experience this. But it was bound to happen.
Broken and confused, I sat on the bench and dropped my face into my hands and reminded myself that Nathalie deserved someone who would love her properly.
But in my head, all I heard, repeatedly, were my father’s words, No one can love you the way you are.
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
Asa
When I arrive home, I’m no more settled on what I will say to Juliet.
I know one simple fact to be true: I can’t be without Nathalie.
What happened last night has left my soul settled, but my stomach in knots. Juliet doesn’t deserve this. No matter my opinions on who she truly is, I know there’s a part of her that’s good. She deserves to know the truth. I have to let her know I can no longer be with her. The separation will be a scandal as much as Nathalie objecting to our wedding.
But if I end it now, Juliet can still find someone else. She can still be happy. And I can finally be with Nathalie.
The house is quiet, with only the servants moving about. I’m certain Juliet is asleep and will not be up for several hours. As I begin to walk up the steps, I hear a voice behind me. “There you are.”
Turning, I see my wife standing in the sitting room doorway. “Juliet,” I say, surprise coating my words.
“I waited for you all night,” she says softly.
My brows become furrowed as I attempt to discern which Juliet I’m being presented with. Some moments she is lovely. Other times, she is aloof and cold. And there are rare occasions where nothing but hatred is reflected in all of her actions. The rapid changes are enough to test even the most patient of people. It is one more reason why we shouldn’t be together. I don’t understand her, and when I look into her eyes, I know she doesn’t understand me. If we don’t comprehend and appreciate one another, why are we together?