Thinking of Hill caused my entire body to freeze for a split second, right before it melted. In the haze of my horrendous hangover, I didn’t have a clear recollection of how I’d ended up all cuddly in my office. But I did remember Hill vaulting over the bar like some kind of hero in an old Western. I also clearly recalled him picking me up off the floor like I was something precious and dear to him, and the tender way he held me to his chest. I purposely kept my distance from Hill because I was always terrified I would no longer be able to keep my complicated feelings secret if he put his hands on me. It was easy to let him see the anger and resentment that I used as a shield when there was space between us. But if he got too close…I didn’t doubt he would see right through me—see the undeniable attraction I felt toward him, and the guilt that accompanied it.
I would never be able to forgive myself for having had feelings for Hill since I was young. I might have fallen in love with his brother, but that didn’t stop my heart from being torn in two the entire time it was happening. When I was young and naive, I was drawn to the goodness in Hill Gamble. He was a stand-up guy. One who wouldn’t be swayed from doing the right thing. He didn’t put on an act the way Case did, didn’t rebel and create chaos the way I did. He simply owned his lot in life and made the best out of a bad situation. I was envious of his ability to compartmentalize the different parts of his life. Later I was jealous because he actually made it out of Loveless and left everyone and everything who’d hurt him behind. I wished I’d been brave enough to do the same.
When I got older, and things with Aaron became impossible to handle on my own, Hill was the one I leaned on the most. I was terrified of losing the boy I loved, and his brother was the only one who understood that blinding, consuming fear. At least I thought Hill understood. Slowly, over months and eventually years, I realized Hill was pulling away, shutting both me and Aaron out. He wasn’t as quick to answer my middle-of-the-night calls, and his patience for the mess Aaron was making of both our lives eventually ran out. Aaron was slipping through my fingers, but Hill effectively cut me out of his life, and the empty ache of that abandonment still echoed inside my chest.
Grumbling about the sunlight nearly blinding me, and the reawakened feelings for one sexy Texas Ranger, I stumbled to my desk and found a hairbrush and small bottle of mouthwash I kept stashed there for emergencies. Last night wasn’t the first night I’d crashed on the couch in my office, but it was the first time I’d allowed anyone else into my private space…the first time in a very long time that someone else had put me to bed. I didn’t like the shiver that shot down my spine when I recalled how gently Hill had handled me. My memories were a little foggy still, but I definitely remembered him covering me with a blanket. Considering how argumentative I was whenever I was around him, I had no idea how Hill continually treated me with consideration and kindness, instead of acting like I was the enemy.
Once I was as freshened up as I could be, I headed back down the creaky stairs and into the mostly empty bar. We were open for lunch, but the place never really picked up until happy hour. It was the day shift employees’ job to keep the bar cleaned and stocked, not that the young, single mother I kept on for sympathy more than her skill did a great job at either. Which was why I was stunned at the sight of my bar sparkling and so clean it looked like a different place. The worn floors gleamed. The bar top was spotless. The glassware sparkled, and each and every table was polished. The place hadn’t looked this good since I first bought it and renovated it.
Looking around with wide eyes, I grabbed a glass of water and asked Shelby, the daytime waitress, “Did you do all this? I’m impressed.”
Shelby was perpetually stressed and constantly on her phone during her shift. She was in an endless custody battle with her ex-husband, and half the time I ended up taking care of the customers during her shift, since she was so distracted. We’d gone to high school together and had been acquaintances. When Aaron died, Shelby was one of the few people in town who offered genuine condolences and asked what she could do for me. So when she came begging for a job after her husband left her high and dry, I couldn’t help but hire her. I sometimes regretted my decision, but I couldn’t bring myself to fire her. Looking at the bar, I wondered if she’d finally managed to turn things around.
The other woman shook her head, platinum blond ponytail swinging. “No way. This wasn’t me. Apparently your friend stayed until close last night and asked the staff to stay until the bar was spick-and-span. Lorenzo was pissed, but stuck around anyway. I woke up to a string of very angry text messages.”
Lorenzo was my lead bartender. He’d been working crazy hours the last few days while I drank away my feelings. I relied on him a lot and could only imagine the way he would have gotten riled up when asked to stay late and clean by someone who wasn’t me.
I gulped down a second glass of water and made my way over to the back of the bar, where I kept a bottle of Tylenol. Tossing a couple of pills back, I shook my head a little. “I’ll call Lorenzo and apologize on behalf of Shot. I’m sure he was just trying to help out.”
Sometimes Shot forgot we were nothing more than friends and business associates. There were times he tended to be even more protective than my older brothers. This wouldn’t be the first time I’d had to warn the biker to back off. Lord only knew if he was ever going to listen.
“Oh. It wasn’t Shot. It was the guy in the gray Stetson. Lorenzo said he had a badge, but didn’t think he was with the sheriff’s office. I think the only reason Lorenzo stayed was because the guy was in law enforcement.” Shelby smiled brightly as the door to the bar opened. “You know how he is.”
The smile dimmed some when she realized the customer was Case’s live-in girlfriend, Aspen Barlow. Aspen often popped in for lunch with her clients. She was an attorney, and I think she liked that the low-key, rustic feel of the bar often put the people she was representing at ease. Aspen was originally from Chicago and had never really managed to blend in with the locals. My bar was familiar and neutral territory. Plus, we’d become very good friends ever since she’d managed to mellow my uptight, stern oldest brother. She was a perfect match for Case, no matter how different the two of them were. She was also a wonderful addition to our fractured, disjointed family. She’d done nothing but try to pull us all together from the start.
I waved at the tiny, dark-haired attorney and glanced at Shelby from the corner of my eye. “You’re telling me Hill stayed until close last night and made the night shift crew clean the bar before they could go home?” I couldn’t keep the surprise out of my tone.
Shelby shrugged a shoulder and pulled her cell phone out of the pocket of the short, black apron she was wearing. “He didn’t make them stay. He asked, and no one felt like they could say no. He’s intimidating, and has a badge.” She rolled her eyes as if that explained everything. “I need to go see if the burger for the guy in the back corner is done. I’m sure Lorenzo sent you a bunch of angry messages as well. He’s the one to ask about what happened last night.” She nodded at Aspen, who had to hop in an adorable way to get her small frame up onto one of the bar stools. “Good afternoon, Counselor.”
Aspen smiled politely in return and watched as Shelby disappeared in the direction of the kitchen. “Is she still mad that I’m now representing her husband in their custody dispute?”