For a moment, his friend’s eyes closed. Then he shook his head. “I never saw him. When we found her, he had already disappeared.”
Drake sighed, although, in truth, he had not expected a different answer. Phineas was not wrong to doubt him. It would be most difficult to unmask Lady Leonora’s attacker. However, Drake could not even imagine not trying. It was the least he could do.
“When we found her, she was in shock,” Phineas mumbled, his dark gaze distant as he returned to the night of the masquerade. “I had never seen her like that before. She was always so calm and collected, so rational and observant. It was always easy to overlook her because she always tended to stand off to the side, not interested in dancing or conversing or anything else. The only thing that had ever mattered to her was to observe and to understand.” He ran a hand over his face, a dark chuckle leaving his throat. “I never quite knew her before. Lately, however, Louisa and I have been talking a lot about what happened, about what we wish we could do for her. Louisa has tried everything, and yet, that person Leonora once was seems to be gone for good.”
Drake was relieved to hear that Lady Leonora’s family cared for her in such a profound way. His own family had never shown any such emotions.
Exhaling a deep breath, Phineas pushed to his feet. He turned to go, but then stopped at the door and turned back to look at Drake. “Louisa needed to find the strength to stand up for herself about her inability to read. It did not matter what I said to her, what anyone else said to her. She needed to be the one to take that step and realize that she was every bit as worthy as the rest of us.”
Rising to his feet, Drake rounded the desk. “What are you saying?” he asked, sensing that his friend’s words were not truly about his wife.
“It simply occurred to me that it might not be enough for you to unmask her attacker,” Phineas stated outright. “Perhaps she needs to be the one to unmask him, to confront him. Perhaps she won’t be able to reclaim her old self until she finds a way to stand up for herself.”
Drake frowned. “How?”
Phineas merely shrugged, then bid Drake farewell and left.
Unable to think indoors, Drake had his horse saddled and found himself riding through the streets of London as darkness settled more firmly upon it. He did not care where his mount carried him. All he cared about was the chilled night air like pinpricks against his skin. It kept him awake and alert, and he felt more aware not only of his surroundings, but of everything else as well. It had always been thus.
Although Drake loathed to think of the night Lady Leonora had come upon her attacker, he knew that he needed to contemplate all that had happened to her…if he truly meant to help her. He tried to picture the scene, the moment at the masquerade, the way she had seen the world around her, her eyes curious, her mind intrigued. Of course, she had not seen the dangers for her mind had been too occupied, too fascinated. Although Drake had not known her for long, he already felt that he had come to know her quite well, especially for such a short acquaintance.
Despite his knowledge of her as a person, Drake knew very little about that night, about what had happened. She had not said much, and he had not dared to ask. In truth, he had not wanted to know. He had not wanted to be in any position to picture what had happened. However, no matter the details, Drake knew that she had been attacked, physically attacked. Indeed, it had been different for Lady Louisa—now Lady Barrington—for her torment had been one of the mind, had it not? Both sisters had been made to feel weak, but not in the same way. Perhaps that was the answer. Could it be?
Perhaps what Lady Leonora needed was to overcome the feeling of helplessness, of being at someone else’s mercy. Perhaps in order to feel strong again, she needed to feel physically strong.
It was a thought. Drake was uncertain whether or not it was a good one, but it was the only one he had at the moment. He could not help but wonder what Lady Leonora would think of it. Would she laugh at him? Or would she dare trust him even in this matter?
Chapter Ten
A Voice Within
Never before had Leonora realized how loud balls were. In fact, they were deafening. How that had escaped her notice before was beyond her.
Leonora stood surrounded by members of her family before they all moved as one into the ballroom like a single organism. It felt reassuring, and she smiled at her mother, who had come to look at Leonora in a bit of an odd way lately. Perhaps she suspected something. Not the truth, of course.
“You look a bit more at ease tonight,” her mother remarked as she sidled up closer, then entwined her arm through Leonora’s. “I do hope you will enjoy yourself.”
Leonora thanked her mother, torn between confiding in her and simply enjoying this evening with her family and not allowing dark thoughts to encroach upon it. Indeed, the evening progressed in a most joyful manner. Leonora found herself laughing and chatting with one sister and then another, with her mother and father as well as Grandma Edie. She was constantly surrounded by people she loved and trusted, including her cousin Anne as well as her cousin’s husband Tobias, Phineas’ younger brother. They were all her family, and tonight, they were here with her.
Until they all disappeared, one by one, onto the dance floor. Of course, Leonora had seen this coming. After all, it was a ball. People danced. That, at least, made sense. It was logical.
Nonetheless, the moment Leonora found herself alone with only her grandmother and her eldest sister to keep her company, a sense of unease slowly sneaked up her spine.
And then Lord Gillingham approached.
Leonora saw him coming from across the room, and the moment she did, panic washed over her like a tidal wave. Still, she had prepared for this. She had spent the past few days preparing short and concise sentences that were meant to reassure her.
You are not alone.
Breathe in and out.
Your family is here with you.
Breathe in and out.
Lord Gillingham and Lord Sedgwick are gentlemen.
Breathe in and out.
He will not step too close.
Breathe in and out.
He only wants to speak to you.
Breathe in and out.
If he wishes to dance, refuse him.
Breathe in and out.
Again and again, Leonora kept repeating the sentences in her head as she watched Lord Gillingham move closer. She also observed his polite smile and his respectful nod to an acquaintance. And then he was there, standing right in front of her, greeting her with the utmost decorum.
“Good evening, Lord Gillingham,” Leonora heard herself reply, her hands clasped together against the slight tremor that ran through them. “How nice to see you again.”
“May I fetch you a glass of lemonade?” Lord Gillingham inquired politely.
Leonora could not deny that the thought of him leaving her side at least for a moment was a most welcome one. It would offer her the opportunity to relax the tense grip she had on her nerves at least for a moment. “That would be most kind of you.”
“I would not mind one, either,” Grandma Edie piped up from her chair to Leonora’s right, a chuckle rumbling in her throat as she looked at Lord Gillingham with a wide grin upon her face.
Lord Gillingham returned her smile good-naturedly. “Of course, my lady.” His gaze moved to Juliet. “For you as well, Lady—?” A hint of red came to his face as he realized he did not know her name.