My prosthetic leg would be visible.
The dress was long sleeved, with a draping neckline that accentuated what barely there breasts I had before tapering at my waist. There were swirl-patterned strips of fabric missing on the side and at the bottom, each of them covered in a mesh lace, and the hem cut off halfway down my thighs, leaving me way more exposed than I was used to.
Every part of me that I saw as a flaw was on full display — my nude socket, the silver pylon leg, the foot that matched my skin tone as much as it possibly could. It was all I could see as I pulled back the curtain with a shaky breath, ready for the stares, for the questions, for the looks of pity. But when I stepped in front of Antonio and the two other associates, they stared alright — but not at my leg.
At me.
“Oh. My. God,” Antonio said, punctuating each word as one hand covered his mouth.
“That’s the one,” the girl to his left said, shaking her head like she was in disbelief. “Wow. You look killer.” She snapped her fingers together. “I have just the shoes.”
She disappeared before I could tell her I wouldn’t be able to wear heels, but it didn’t matter, because I turned to face the three angled mirrors, and when I stopped looking at my leg, I saw what they saw, too.
It was like the dress was made for me.
“Antonio, I can’t wear this,” I whispered, though my fingers ran over the smooth fabric with longing, brushing the mesh lace along the edges.
“The hell you can’t,” he said, stepping up beside me. He lifted his arms over my head, dropping them down to lay a gold necklace over my collarbone. It was a layered choker, several thin chains making an elaborate design that seemed to accent the dress perfectly.
“But…” I looked down, wiggling my leg.
“But nothing. What, you’re worried about that?” he asked, nodding to my leg in the mirror as his female counterpart handed him a pair of bedazzled ballet flats over his shoulder. “Honey, no one is going to be able to focus on that with your tits pushed up to the heavens and your thighs singing hallelujah like that. Here, just try these.”
I sat on the small cushioned bench and pulled the flats on, cringing a little at the way I had to stretch the delicate fabric over my prosthetic foot. But both shoes fit, and when I stood again, wiggling my toes and admiring the unique way the flats strapped over my arches, they all gasped.
When I turned back to the mirrors, all I could do was shake my head. “This is crazy.”
“It’s perfect,” Antonio corrected. “Do you have contacts?”
I cringed, but nodded. “I do. I packed a pair in my purse just in case. You think I should wear them?”
“Definitely. And, what are you going to do about that hair? There’s a blow-out place a few stores down. You should see if they can get you in. And stop by Mac for makeup.”
I pressed my hands flat to my stomach, feeling a little overwhelmed. “How much is this going to cost me?”
Antonio added up the shoes, necklace, and dress, and when he told me the total, I nearly passed out. It was more than I made in three shifts at the diner. I sighed, bending to remove the flats, Antonio and everyone else protesting the entire time.
“I can’t, guys. It’s too much.” I sighed again. “It’s all too much.” Suddenly, I felt defeated, and I had no idea why. “I don’t even know what I’m doing.”
Maybe it was battling with Emery for three bad days in a row, three days of him not talking to me, not acknowledging what had happened between us. Maybe it was that I was miles away from the place I’d called home my entire life, and I’d lost who I was, yet hadn’t quite found the new person I’d become. I was in a strange purgatory, stuck between the before and after, unsure of every move I made.
Antonio exchanged a look with the two girls beside him, then he smiled down at me. “Oh, my gosh, I can’t believe you work at our sister boutique in LA!”
I cocked a brow, eyeing him as he shared knowing looks with the other two.
“Of course we’ll give you the employee discount. That brings your total down forty percent. Oh, and, what do you know — that dress just happens to be off our clearance rack!”
They all just watched me, their flawless smiles surrounding me in the dressing room, and it was all I could do not to fall apart. I didn’t know whether to cry or hug them all, but I settled for the latter, whispering a thank you in Antonio’s ear.
“My pleasure. Now, go fix that hair and get your face done, and show that friend of yours what you’re working with.”
It was late by the time I got my hair and makeup done and changed into my new clothes. My palms were sweaty as I texted Emery, asking him where he was, and when it took him almost twenty minutes to answer, I started to panic at the thought of going all out only to end up partying by myself.
But my phone eventually lit up with his name. He’d gone down the strip, but was on his way back to the club inside our hotel. Marquee.
I sighed a breath of relief that I wouldn’t have to find a cab — or worse, walk down the strip. I’d already walked Kalo when I got back from the mall, but I wanted to wait a while before making my way down. No way was I showing up before him. So, I sat on the edge of the bed, completely dressed and ready, petting my dog.
So cool.
When I’d managed to burn another twenty minutes, I checked my reflection one more time in the mirror.
The dress fit like a glove, just like it had in the store, and my fingers played with the gold chains of the choker as I took in the whole ensemble. I’d picked up a black clutch to match at the last second, and I held it in the hand not touching the chains. My hair was curled in soft waves that fell down my back and over my shoulders, and my glasses were tucked in my toiletry bag, leaving my eyes bare for the first time in years. I had fake lashes and more makeup than I even knew existed on my face, courtesy of Mac, and even though I looked completely different, I didn’t feel weird.
I felt beautiful.
I wondered how many girls experienced this every day when they looked in the mirror as I slipped the hotel key into my clutch, letting the door click softly shut behind me. My eyes studied the rhinestones on my flats as they carried me to the elevator, my hands fiddling with my curls. I was anxious to see Emery, to see his reaction to me. Maybe he wouldn’t care — after all, he’d been attracting drop-dead gorgeous women his entire life. But maybe he’d see what I did. Maybe he’d see the girl he kissed under the stars in Colorado, the girl waiting for him to tell her what the hell was going on in his head.
It was like playing a game of chess where none of the rules I’d learned applied anymore. There were new pieces, new movements, new strategies — and I had no idea how to play. All I could do was watch and learn from my opponent, which put me at a steep disadvantage.
The club was inside the hotel, the entrance located on the second floor, and the line was wrapped around the thumping dome that surrounded it as I rounded the hallway that housed the elevators. I stepped up to the back of the crowd, forcing a shaky breath and holding my clutch in both hands as I waited.
A group of girls in front of me was laughing when I approached, all of them visibly drunk, but after a moment, I noticed them whispering to each other, their eyes flicking to me every now and then.