“I’d like to kick you in the balls. Does that count?”
“Violence doesn’t solve anything, sweet Maggie,” I tell her, suddenly feeling deflated.
I figure that Maggie probably sees the change on my face, because she lets out a sigh that sounds like I feel… exhausted.
“Bryant,” she says, the word coming out more like a sigh.
“I don’t understand how we came to this, Maggie May.” I tell her, going to sit in the chair beside the bed. I brace my arms on my legs, leaning in, trying to sort through everything I’d like to say to her and honestly not able to form words for any of it.
“You listened to my mother. That’s how, Bryant.”
I give her a smile that doesn’t really have humor in it. “It seemed to make sense at the time. It still does, Maggie.”
“Bryant, you have me handcuffed to the headboard of a bed. That doesn’t make sense.”
“Maggie, we’ve spent years running away from one another and yet, always circling back because even if our heads don’t realize it, our hearts know that we belong to one another. Fuck, woman, I can’t remember a day in my life that I didn’t want you in it. That I didn’t need to talk to you.”
“Bry,” she whispers, and this time I can hear the emotion in her voice.
“And I’m going back all the way to grade school, Maggie. You’re woven into the very breath that I breathe. You always have been. I can’t get you out of me. Fuck, I don’t even want to. I’m asking you to give us this time. Let your fears go and your heart open enough to just try,” I ask her, and I don’t even care that it sounds like I’m begging.
I watch as she moistens her lips, her beautiful brown eyes full of emotion and pain. I also see the fear. Sometimes late at night, I force myself to go back in time. I think of Maggie before she got pregnant, before my parents’ hate touched her, before we lost Brylee…before we lost our way. Her smile, her face and especially those gorgeous eyes were so full of life. It shined so bright it felt like summer sunshine and it warmed every part of me. She made me feel joy that I don’t think I ever felt before she came into my life. The sound of her laughter makes me feel lighter even now—although she doesn’t laugh as much these days. Then again, neither do I. Losing Brylee marked us in every way. There are spots of light these days, moments of pure joy, but the sadness, the emptiness, is never far behind. At least for me, the guilt for feeling joy has faded. Brylee was everything good in this world. If Maggie’s laugh is joy, then Brylee’s laugh was a million times more powerful. It was so big that there will always be a darkness where once there was light. There’s no way to change that.
“What if it’s too late, Bry?” she whispers, pulling my attention away from the memories of our daughter and back to the here and now. “We’ve wasted so much time,” she says, sounding so lost that I get up and crouch down in front of her, resting my hands on her legs, the heat from the touch flooding through me like an electric current.
“It’s never too late, Maggie. Not if love is involved, and you do love me. You can’t deny that baby.”
“I can’t. I’ve always loved you,” she admits and until this moment, I didn’t realize that I was scared that feeling was gone for her. My eyes close in relief. When I slowly open them back up, Maggie is staring at me, her own eyes overly bright.
“And this man in Dallas?” I ask, clearing my throat, hating to bring him up, but needing to know what I’m fighting against.
She shakes her head. “I’m not ready to talk about that, but I can promise you that I’m not in love with anyone else, Bryant.” I frown, not happy. I want her to talk about him. I want to know what’s going on. I don’t even understand why there is another man. If she wanted more, it should have been me that she came to. I don’t say any of that, however. I don’t want to break this tentative truce that we’ve begun.
“That’s enough for now. If I uncuff you, Maggie May, are you going to try and run from me?”
“I don’t want to leave tonight,” she allows. “Let’s take this day by day.”
“Promise me you’ll stop fighting me at least for the weekend, Maggie.”
I feel like I’m holding my breath waiting for her answer.
“Okay, Bryant,” she finally says.
I pull the key out of my pocket and carefully undo the cuffs so that one side is still hooked to the bed, but the one around her wrist is open. I bring her hand to my lips and kiss the inside of her wrist, her pulse jumping underneath her soft, golden skin. Slowly, I pull away, letting my hand move against the same spot.
“What do you say we fix dinner together.”
“What? I thought you liked being the king in the kitchen?” she says, her voice a little lighter, freer.
“Tonight, I want my queen back. What do you say, Maggie May?”
“You do realize I can’t cook, right? That’s how you became the king of the kitchen,” she laughs.
I stand up, slipping my hold from her wrist to capture her hand in mine. She falls into step beside me as we go back to the kitchen.
“You can cook great for this meal, baby,” I assure her, suddenly feeling like there might be hope. As we reach the doorway of the kitchen, the sun shining through the front door, catching her hair just right, I stop, pulling on her hand. She turns into me, and without a word, I capture her lips and kiss her. Maggie gasps, her arms going around me. I deepen the kiss, our tongues tangling in a sweet dance that is always familiar but never the same.
With Maggie, everything is new.
20
Maggie
I wash my hands and come out of the bathroom feeling loads lighter. Not being able to go to the bathroom when you need to sucks. I had plans for making Bryant’s life miserable. While I was alone, though, I figured out that I’ve already made his life miserable. Plus, honestly, I just didn’t want to. I want to spend time with him even if he went about it the wrong way. His whole ‘this is me with balls’ speech was kind of hilarious if I thought about it. Especially since Bryant is the most growly man I’ve ever met. Testosterone oozes out of his body and it always has.
“Hey there,” Bryant says, when he turns to see me standing at the edge of the kitchen. This place is quite beautiful. The kitchen is the first room you come to, which I guess is a little different, but the living room is completely open to it, so it feels like one large space. There is a half bath and laundry area at the corner of the kitchen and then off the living room is a door that leads to the bedroom and attached bathroom.
It’s compact, yet roomy at the same time. I can see eclectic touches from my cousin Faith, but definite signs of luxury that I know come from Titan. That man does love having the best—which works for him, since my cousin Faith is the best.
“Hey,” I respond, almost shyly.
Bryant walks over and kisses me again. This kiss is just as good, but lighter and sweeter. When we pull apart, the cat is in the corner swishing her tail in anger. I look at her and she lets out a loud hiss.
“Your cat doesn’t like me,” I mutter, touching the forgotten scratch on the side of my face. Bryant sees me and kisses it gently.