“I like seeing my mark on you,” Jude murmured, speaking right against his skin. “I want to keep you like this.”
I want you to keep me, a traitorous voice responded in his head. He just managed to hold the words back, and he gave into the touch as Jude directed him toward the bed. It was easy to fall down on his stomach, to go where Jude’s hands put him. It was easy to grip the sheets and spread his thighs and arch into the mouth that dragged kisses just behind his balls.
“Tell me what you want,” Jude murmured.
Kicks couldn’t find the words because he didn’t know them. He wanted Jude to keep making him feel this way—whatever it was. Like he was soft and delicate—like he was fragile and Jude wasn’t afraid to shatter him into a million pieces. And god, the thought of that made his throat ache with need, and all he could really manage was a soft, desperate sound.
“It’s okay,” Jude said quietly. His hand painted lines down Kicks’ back, and it felt strange having someone touch his scars. He didn’t mind—he’d never really minded, but he’d just never been close enough to anyone for it to happen. “I’ve got you. I want you to trust me.”
And he did—god help him.
His hips thrust against the bed until Jude’s fingers dug into his sides and lifted him away from the mattress. His knees tucked neatly under him, his palms pressing into the mattress. He let out a sharp gasp as two fingers brushed over his hole and then teeth dug into the meat of his thigh.
“I don’t want this to be over too quickly. I want to take my time, now that we have it.”
And they did. Kicks widened his knees a little, felt himself bared a little more, heard Jude’s quiet moan of approval.
“Do you have lube and condoms?”
Kicks swallowed thickly and forced himself to speak. “Bathroom. I can go. Your knee…”
Jude scoffed quietly, but the sound was more amused than anything. “I can make it a few steps there and back.”
Kicks didn’t have it in him to argue. He wanted to just let go, to let his body fall into this man’s impossibly strong hands and let him break him. Let him strip him to nothing. Let him become no more than points of pain and pleasure. And then maybe, if he was very lucky, Jude would hold him as he carefully put all his pieces back together again.
Before Kicks could come too far back into his head, the bed dipped, and he felt warm fingers touch his ankle. Lips followed, trailing kisses to the backs of his knees—sensitive in ways he hadn’t expected. The kisses turned biting as they traveled up toward his ass, sinking into his skin, licking to soothe the sting.
“I found some interesting things under your sink, Emilio.” Jude was most definitely smiling now—he could hear it. “Do you mind?”
“No,” he breathed out, shaking his head. He tried to look over his shoulder, but Jude was too quick.
His fingers dug into Kicks’ hair and kept his face pointed toward the bed. “Trust me,” he said—again, almost like a question, but not quite.
Kicks panted, then nodded and fought the urge to squirm. “I want it all. I’m…I’m yours.”
Jude said nothing, but Kicks heard the sound of a sharp breath, then the lube cap opening. Then he heard the very familiar, faint sound of vibration. It had been sort of a gag-gift. Hawke had picked it up from a roadside sex shop. It was a little bullet vibe, and the cashier had said it was the best external prostate orgasm he’d ever had.
He sucked in his breath when he felt the little thing trace over his balls, and he almost came right there.
“I was fucking this bloke back at Uni who had one of these,” he said, his voice barely louder than the vibrator. “We had quite a lot of fun with it.” He rested it gently against Kicks’ perineum, and his cock swelled more, dribbling a thin line of pre-come from the tip. “And it looks like you know how to enjoy it.”
He swallowed thickly. “Please.”
“Oh, my love, I’m not going to make you beg for it.” Somehow, it sounded like a threat, and that was even more evident when he felt lube drizzle over his hole, and then the pointed tip of the plug rested in the mess there. “I just want to make sure you’re nice and loose and open before I fuck you.”
Kicks only had time to take a breath before Jude pushed the plug inside him. His body accepted it with a soft grunt that turned into a breathy moan as the bullet pressed harder against his perineum. His thighs twitched, his dick somehow even harder, and then suddenly it stopped.
He was still stretched wide, but Jude pulled his hands away, then urged him to roll onto his back. Kicks’ eye was a little blurry, but he found Jude’s face as the man knelt between his legs, and he damn-near lost his breath when he saw the look of want and adoration in his expression.
“You’re beautiful and so good. Do enough people tell you that?”
Kicks managed something like a laugh. “I know my brothers love me, but that ain’t the kind of life we live. There’s not a lot of room for sweet talk.”
“Hmm.” Jude reached for him, dragging a thumb down the cut of his jaw, then down the front of his throat. “Well, there’s time now. Spread your legs for me, love.”
Kicks’ body gave a small jolt at the casual name that he knew meant nothing, and yet it burrowed under his skin as his knees spread farther. Jude dragged a touch down the trail of his hair, then curled his fingers around Kicks’ aching cock. The pressure was too light to be anything but torture, and he was sure Jude was going to go back on his promise not to make him beg when suddenly his head lowered, and he was swallowed down to the hilt.
He let out a strangled cry, his hands flying from the mattress to Jude’s hair, and he held him fast. The other man didn’t move. He just sat there letting the hard cock rest against his tongue.
And then he swallowed.
“I’m so fucking close, shit,” Kicks gasped. He let go of Jude so he could push up on his elbows, and he met those dark, amber-drizzled eyes. “I’m going to come.”
It was a warning, one Jude heeded. He pulled off with a wet pop, then tongued his slit before letting it go. “Do you want to come now, or when I’m inside you?”
He knew what the answer should be. He was already too fucking close, too fucking deep in his mess of feelings. He should come now, then let Jude use him until he was sated, because looking into this man’s eyes while his orgasm crashed through him would be too much.
But he also wasn’t willing to give up the chance, because he wasn’t sure he’d get another one.
“Fuck me,” he breathed out.
Jude’s expression didn’t change much, but he didn’t break eye contact as he reached for the condoms. Kicks felt him shifting, heard the lube cap again, then felt careful fingers touch the base of the plug. Instead of pulling it out, Jude pushed it in deeper, then out an inch, then in. He fucked him with it until Kicks was all-but trembling, a weak whimper escaping his chest.
No one had ever done this. No one had ever really touched him like he was worth something. No one had ever taken their time.
No one had cared.
He was lost to the sensation, and he groaned when Jude pulled the thing out, and just when he was expecting to be filled, Jude rolled onto his back and reached for Kicks. “It’ll have to be like this. My knee can’t take it anymore. But I am still controlling this, do you understand?”