“I feel like I’ve been resting too long already. There’s a lot to be packed, I’ll do that.”
He opened his mouth before slamming it shut and nodding. “Sounds like a good plan. I’ll let you know when Emily’s back.”
I was alone again, with only my thoughts. All the ideas about how to make our relationship work were wiped away.
What did it matter? Keyton had already left.
After packing up my bags, I showered and tried to pull myself together. I turned on the TV to drown out the thoughts in my head. Better for things to be too noisy than to be alone with my own thoughts.
There would be people outside the hotel. There would be cameras and fans, autograph and selfie seekers. If I wasn’t Bay than what the hell was I? Certainly not a girlfriend or a future wife. Maybe a future mother. I couldn’t even think that far ahead yet.
He’d left at the slightest hint that I might be pregnant.
No, there was nothing else left but the music now.
I checked all the drawers under where the 65” TV sat.
“We have big news in the sports world. Renowned good luck charm Darren Keyton has signed a three year deal with the Wisconsin Bison. This is shocking news only two days before the trade deadline. Most have already happened, but it looks like he’ll need to invest in a winter gear wardrobe to make the leap from Philadelphia to Milwaukee. One thing we don’t usually hear about with these trades is a payout. The tight end will be leaving a lot of money on the table with this move, but this is the first time he’s signed a deal where he’ll be joining the starting line-up.”
I fell to the bed, staring at the TV as the newscasters bantered about what the move meant for him mid-season and how unusual it was.
Kind of like someone running away the first chance they got. Why was I surprised? Why hadn’t I paid attention to the signs? When I’d seen him at the concert, he’d left. In my hotel suite after coffee, he’d left. After the guy attacked me, he’d rushed off. And I’d told him I might be pregnant and he was out the door.
If that wasn’t a sign, I didn’t know what was. I kept letting my past with him color how I saw him and how I saw our love. We were hurting one another. It was like a reflex. We couldn’t help it.
He wasn’t the Greenwood bad boy, who took interest in a stage crew geek. He was a guy who ran when he got scared. I was the girl who ran just as hard, but I thought together—this time we could conquer anything. That we were finally finished running from the big scary feelings that made us.
Only there wasn’t an us. He’d seen to that when he’d left me to go to some other woman, sneaking out the first chance he got. I’d been ready to give it all up for him. Leave this life behind for him. A baby had been a perfect excuse to step back and take a breather.
The joke was on Keyton. He didn’t have to flee the city to get away from me. I was leaving tonight at 6 PM, ready to finish up the last leg of my tour and then figure out what was the next step for me.
The door to the suite banged open. Holden and Emily ran in like they expected me to be in a puddle again.
Wild glances shot to the TV and back to me.
“I saw it. I’m okay.” That was the biggest lie I’d ever told, the kind I’d couldn’t escape, but I’d keep saying it until I could believe the lie even for a few minutes. Falling apart wasn’t an option, even though all I wanted to do was curl back up into my ball and forget everything existed. I wanted to forget I existed.
Like I had in LA after he refused to meet me, I’d fall back into the embrace of my music. The fans. The tour. The shows.
I’d do the same thing I’d done for the past six years. The show had to go on, even if all that remained of me was the shell of the person I’d once been, the vision I’d had of how things could go, of being a family with the one man who’d always seen me, destroyed. There was no one else who saw me like he had. Loved me like he had. Hurt me like he had.
35
Keyton
The flight from Charlotte had taken forever. On the way to the airport, I’d picked up a last minute gift, a peace offering, a desperate bid to redeem myself in the slightest in her eyes and prove how wrong I’d been. I barged into the propped-open door of the suite and rushed into her bedroom.
Inside, a housekeeper shut off the vacuum and pulled off her headphones, staring at me with wide eyes. It was empty. Every sign of Bay and her team were gone.
“Sorry.” I backed out of the suite.
She was gone.
I braced my hand on the wall to keep from dropping to my knees. Each breath burned my lungs. My head buzzed, woozy dizziness gripped me, and it felt like I was on the helicopter all over again, careening toward the ground.
Sucking down breaths that felt like shards of glass, I tried to focus. She hadn’t disappeared into thin air.
Against every instinct and notion of decency, I plugged her name into a gossip site.
Bay headed out of the Four Seasons Philadelphia wearing an Alexander McQueen asymmetrical long black coat, Valentino boots and Levi’s jeans. She’s so down to Earth! Add her outfit to your closet today!
She’s making a big announcement in London before finishing up the last leg of her world tour! A second night was added to the Berlin show. Snap these tickets up before they’re sold out!
I grabbed my phone and paced in the empty hallway.
“Gwen, I need you to find out what airport Bay’s leaving from.”
“When’s she leaving and where’s she going?”
“I don’t know when she’s leaving. I’m at the Four Seasons now. One of the paparazzi sites said she was headed to the airport thirty minutes ago. She’s going to London.”
“Okay, it might take some time.”
“I don’t have much. If she’s leaving from Philly International she could be on a plane already. If she’s going to Teterboro, if I break a few laws, I could beat them there or at least get there a few minutes after they do. Gwen, I need to see her before she gets on that plane.”
“I’ll see what I can find out.”
The call ended and I raced down to the parking garage not wanting to lose a second as soon as Gwen called back. My heart thudded like it was trying to beat straight out of my throat. There had never been a slower eight minutes in my life.
Before the phone could ring, I answered. “Yes, did you find her?”
Panting, Gwen rushed out the words. “She’s leaving from Teterboro at six.”
I checked the time. Less than an hour to get there. There was no way I’d make it. Even breaking a land speed record with no traffic, I couldn’t get there in time.
Deep breaths didn’t stop the mind-numbing panic that overwhelmed me, and I braced my hands against the wall.
“A car’s pulling into the garage now. It’ll take you to the Philadelphia airport. There’s a helicopter being fueled up right now. You can just make it.”
I stood, unable to move, until the headlights of the SUV flashed over me and snapped me out of my freeze. “You’re a miracle worker, Gwen.”
“Remember, Christmas is just around the corner.”
“I won’t forget it.” I jumped into the car before the driver could slide out of his side. “You know where we’re going?”