She’d told me no. I wasn’t forgiven. Wasn’t that our MO by now? This felt like the dance we’d been sentenced to repeat every half decade.
Maybe she’d get a killer next album out of our couple months of paradise.
Her plane would taxi and take her back to her world of tour buses, adoring fans, and a non-stop schedule that would leave her no time to even think about me before she crashed into a sleep of blissful oblivion.
I’d—thinking of my life beyond this moment was too painful to bear. On wooden legs, I walked back toward the helicopter. The engine of the plane behind me got louder, and soon the wheels would leave the ground, and with them, my heart.
A voice nearly drowned out by the roar of the engine perked up my ears. “Wait!”
I whirled around.
At the top of the steps to the plane, Bay waved her arms. Leaping down the stairs in two jumps, she rushed toward me, running so fast, her feet barely touched the tarmac, puffs of breath escaping from between her lips. Her hair whipped behind her in the frigid air.
My heart stuttered, too afraid to dream. Too afraid to hope.
Her face was shiny and wet. “Wait.” She rushed toward me, not stopping until she was a half step away from me. “I couldn’t go, not without telling you,” she shouted over the airport noise.
I clamped my hands to the sides of my legs to keep from touching her. “Telling me what?”
“That I could get on that plane and go to London and keep living the life I’ve been living for the past five years.” She swallowed and her face fell, tears glistening in her eyes. “But I don’t want to. I don’t want to live another day without you knowing how much I love you and without feeling how much you love me. You scare me more than anything I’ve ever faced before because you’re my one. I’m scared, Dare.” She stared into my eyes, showing me exactly how I made her feel. The fear, the longing, the love. It burned so brightly it felt hot enough to singe the air.
I swept her up in my arms. “You scare me too, Bay. I’ve never loved anyone like I love you, and I never will, but I promise we’ll get through this together and I’ll never let my fear of how I feel about you force me to run again. The next time I run, I want you at my side running toward a future neither of us could imagine, a future that’s beautiful and perfect and flawed and messy and ours.”
I held her face between my hands.
She nodded with tears streaming down her face and gripped the front of my coat. “I want that with you. I need that with you. I love you, Keyton. I’ve always loved you and don’t think I could stop if I wanted to, but I don’t. And I never will.”
“I love you too, Bay. Now and forever.”
Holden hustled us both off the tarmac and back into the plane.
We made up in the bedroom in the back of the plane, holding each other on the double bed. There was more talking, laughter and tears. Finally, we were sharing all of ourselves without hesitation or reservation, the good, bad, and ugly. It was the only way we could tackle it all together, as a team.
And it was at the press conference to kick off Bay’s tour that she announced it would be her farewell tour.
Shock rocked me to my core. In all our talking on the plane, she hadn’t said anything about retiring.
The room had burst into a flurry of questions and raised voices. Holden just grabbed his stylus and tablet, grumbling under his breath about being the last to know.
Someone in the room recognized me, maybe from one of the London games we’d played.
“Does this have anything to do with the American footballer in the room?”
Bay leaned in closer to the mic. “Absolutely.”
The room erupted into even more madness, but with her gaze locked onto mine, it felt like we finally had our peace.
Holden stepped in when the questions continued like a firehose after she’d answered over twenty.
We sat in a car on the way back to the airport to catch my flight back. Flashes went off outside the tinted windows strobing the interior of the car in bright lights. People banged against the glass screaming her name.
“Are you sure about leaving all this behind?”
She stared into my eyes, unflinchingly and unguarded. “There’s not a doubt in my mind.”
“What comes next?” I stared down at our intertwined fingers resting on my leg.
“Whatever we want. Well, not whatever we want.” She nibbled her bottom lip. “I’ll have to finish the tour and wind down all the contractual obligations. My life won’t be my own for at least a year, maybe more. I’m sure Holden’s on the phone to Maddy right now, hashing it all out.”
“I’ll support you no matter what you decide.”
She brought our joined hands up and kissed the back of my hand. “I know and that’s most of the reason I’m brave enough to do this. I want to sit in the stands and cheer you on. I want to find a quiet studio and work on my music. I want to build a life with you.”
“I’ve never wanted anything more in my life.”
Our goodbye at the airport wasn’t nearly as teary as it was before our last take off. She clung to me with her legs wrapped around my waist and arms around my neck. The biting London freeze was no match for the heat of her body against mine.
“I love you, Bay.” My fingers sunk into her hair and I held her to me.
“I love you too. Three weeks until I’ll get to do this again.” Loosening her hold, she slid down the front of my body.
“An eighteen-hour window, I can’t wait for.” Leaning against the railing to the stairs to the jet, I brushed her hair back and pulled her hat down lower over her ears.
She shook her head. “It won’t be enough.”
“No, but it’ll be enough for now. We have the rest of our lives, Bay.”
38
Keyton
FIFTEEN MONTHS LATER
I spat out a piece of grass stuck in my mouth. My fingers ached, and the freezing cold seeped through my gloves. Down in a crouch, I stared back at the stacked row of defensive linemen.
The butterfly bandage above my right eyebrow was coming off from all the sweat pouring down my face, although it was so cold that it froze under the adhesive.
My body screamed for relief, screamed for rest, but the adrenaline surged to give me the motivation I needed. This was the season I’d wanted for so long.
Up in the skybox, Bay was watching me. Her forgiveness was a gift I’d never take for granted.
Someone slapped my helmet.
The play clock was running. We were down by one with twenty-two yards to go.
My blood screamed through my veins. I could feel my pulse in my eyelids. Two fingers were taped together after a near dislocation in the last play of the quarter.
Puffs of breath formed a cloud between the two lines of players.
The stadium came alive with fans, not worried about freezing their asses off.
I tested my cleats into the ground, waiting for the call.
The Wisconsin QB shouted it out and everything moved in slow motion. A pocket opened in our line and a linebacker headed straight for him. Digging deep for the last blast of adrenaline, I paced him and intercepted, ramming my shoulder into him and taking him down.