“No, damn you for not fucking listening! You fucking should’ve left, Mia! Do you know what could’ve happened to you?” he snaps, the anger in his voice so intense, I feel it in my core. “If it wasn’t for me, you wouldn’t have been in that fucking hellhole in the first place!” We’re breathing hard and fast, staring at each other. “Now look at us, Mia. Just fucking look at us.”
Yeah, we look great.
“I don’t think you understand how that makes me feel,” he says after a beat. “You have no idea how terrified I was when I saw you with that warehouse burning down faster than I could get to you. Then the gun… I could’ve lost you, do you get that? You were lying in my arms and I saw…”
“Hey, I’m still here. I’m tough as well.”
“No, Mia. You don’t get to test how fucking tough you are like that,” he berates me seriously. “I thought I knew how tough you are but after today, I’m just now discovering that the strength and resilience I saw in your eyes that day we met was there because of everything you’ve gone through and overcome. You’re fucking amazing.”
I didn’t know how much I needed to hear those words until he says them in that low, sexy voice of his that melts my insides. It’s not just the way he says them, but the way he looks at me, telling that he sees my storm, my darkness and understands it now, better than I do apparently.
Feeling drained, I lie back into him, this time letting every part of me rest, even if it’s just for a little while. I feel him kissing shoulder, then the crown of my head.
God, these kisses from Julian are everything… and I need to stop them before it’s too late.
“You delivered a baby, huh?” he mutters after a while of silence and heaviness in the room. I almost jump, remembering Kristine and her baby.
“Oh my God, yes,” I whisper anxiously. “How are they? Where is Kristine? Is the baby all right? I know she was a preemie, and there was a lot of blood…”
“Hey, hey, relax. Cole tells me that the last time he saw your friend, both she and the baby were receiving care,” he says softly. “I heard you were so brave and a fucking hero. You saved that baby. I’m so fucking proud of you, you have no idea.”
A wave of relief washes over me. I can’t help but smile a little. Praise from Julian is as rare as an apology so sue me for basking in his praise for a bit. That is, until his words sink in.
“What do you mean by the last time?”
“That was two weeks ago, Mia, since then, I’m told your friend is nowhere to be found.”
“What? Is she okay?” What the hell? Is Kristine in trouble?
“Mia, she checked herself out. The security cameras at the hospital show her leaving by herself without any kind of force from anyone.”
Frowning, I twist my head around to look at him. “The security cameras?”
“Well, I knew you’d worry so Cole checked.”
Of course, Cole would check. I just hope Kristine is doing well. God only knows the shit she went through.
We fall silent again. Minutes, hours, weeks pass before I ask him what’s been on my mind since I woke to a room full of people.
“Are they safe?” I whisper. “Cole and Liam?”
He grows tense behind me, his touch becoming restless. I hold my breath, waiting for his answer.
“They are.”
I blow out a breath of relief.
“Good.” Whatever we do, whatever happens, Liam and Cole have to stay out of this untouched. My father has done enough. “You can’t tell anyone. About my fake amnesia.”
“Your naughty secret to throw every asshole who hurt you to the sharks is safe with me, Little Minx,” he whispers huskily.
I can’t help but smile at that. Where Julian agrees, he really does come through. It’s when he makes a decision about a person based on his own facts and whatever else that floats in his head without stopping to listen to the truth that does the most damage.
“What’s wrong with your arm?” I mutter, my heart breaking in my chest.
“It broke.”
“Did they—”
“Yes,” he grits out the word with so much, I snap my mouth shut. “But I gave as good as I got.”
“I saw.”
It was two on one, but I swear Julian was going to fucking tear them both apart, then throw the remains to vultures with a smirk on his handsome face.
“Does it still hurt?” Julian whispers in my ear, then I feel him caressing over where the gunshot wound is.
“Sometimes.”
More silence. Julian nuzzles the side of my face, his five o’clock shadow prickling my skin, but I don’t move away as I feel his lips brushing over the shell of my ear.
Apologies won’t really help now, they won’t change what happened, but still, we talk about it.
“Will you ever play again?” I mutter. He grows still behind me. Football meant a lot to Julian. I know he was prepared to defy his father’s wishes and his family’s legacy just so he can play professionally. But now, his throwing arm is in a cast, with bandages all over his body, I can only hope, but…
“Not professionally. That’s all gone to hell now.”
Jesus. After everything, he still lost his dream. The hurt in those two words alone, it’s enough to convey everything he’s feeling deep within without me having to prob for more. So, I confess to him my own hurts that I couldn’t face myself.
“I won’t ever dance,” I mutter, telling him what I’ve known for a while. “It’s not for me. Not anymore.”
He doesn’t say anything. He just holds me, silently and I’m grateful for that. I don’t think I have it in me to answer anything else and he gets that.
It’s like we’re forcing ourselves to wade through this pool of boiling lava, talking about the past like this. Only it’s not that far behind us. I can still feel the chill of that freezer around me, the way I lay on the bed, naked… the images are so real, a violent shudder of fear goes through me.
“Did you kill him?” I whisper. I don’t want to say his name, but the change in Julian is instant.
“I was going to.” Those four words hover over us and I hear the absolute truth in them. Julian really was going to tear them apart with his bare hands. “When I saw you, wrapped in that bloody sheet, Little Minx, I knew it was going to happen.I wanted Cole to get you out so I could do what I had to do.”
Suddenly, it’s like I can feel it happening to me all over again. Like I can feel their lewd, disgusting looks on my body and the way Sean Matthews beat me up and then forced my head into my own vomit.
“Hey, hey, you’re not in that hell anymore,” Julian whispers, unerringly saying the words that I didn’t know I needed to hear until now. “You’re with me now. No one’s going to touch you ever again, baby.”
Those words snake into my chilled bones. I know he means it. Julian is not just
Like a child, I cling to those words, terror making me tongue-tied as I twist around to look at him.
“I want to believe you,” I whisper. “But then you’re not mine, are you? You don’t owe me anything. You can go protect about Roxy Bishop for all I care.”