“Don’t close your eyes,” Brody said, demand in his voice. “Need to see those golden flecks shatter.”
I fought against the urge to let them shut again as my back arched. I locked on to Brody’s dark, swirling orbs. How the dark brown could glow, I had no idea. But they held me captive, and I had no choice but to stay right where I was. With him. The tether between us locked tight as the world shattered around us. My ears rang, and flashes of light danced across my vision. But I never lost sight of Brody as it happened. And I knew that no matter what came our way, I never would.
35
Shay
I curved into Brody’s side as we watched the flames dance in the fire pit. Griffin tossed another log onto the pile. “The kids wouldn’t stop begging for one of these after the barbeque at your place.”
Caelyn smiled as she tugged him down into the chair next to her. “More like you’re a pushover, and the second any of them say they might want something, it magically appears.”
Ford chuckled. “You’ve got it bad.”
Bell arched a brow in her fiancé’s direction. “Seriously?”
Hunter tried to hide his snort of laughter behind his beer. “And you don’t?”
Ford leaned over and brushed his lips against Bell’s. “I’ve got it the worst.”
Brody and I had been invited over for what Caelyn had called family dinner. It had been a blast, with more food consumed than I would’ve thought possible, a raucous game of soccer, and then s’mores. Kenna and Crosby had just left to take their little girl home, and the kids had gone inside to watch a movie. Now, only the seven of us were left, enjoying the fire and the company.
It seemed that it had happened. I kept stepping forward into that terrifying unknown, and suddenly I had a group of friends. Ones that invited us over for family dinners and made me feel incredibly welcome.
Hunter tipped his beer towards Ford. “Don’t forget, Mom wants us at the house at nine o’clock tomorrow morning.”
Ford groaned and sent a pointed stare at his fiancée. “I blame you for this decorating bug she has.”
Bell pressed her lips together to hide her smile. “All you have to do is paint a room. It’s not that bad.”
“For the fourth time in the past three months,” Ford groused.
Bell shrugged. “At least the room isn’t that big.”
“Then you paint it.”
“Sorry, Cupcake. I have to work tomorrow,” Bell said, taking another sip of her beer.
He looked to Brody and me for help. “Tell me, when does family obligation run out? On the fifth request for repainting? Or the tenth?”
My chest gave a painful squeeze at the question. It was a harmless comment, but I couldn’t seem to control the pain it left in its wake. The knowledge that my parents would never hound me into doing something that was the last thing on my list. I wouldn’t whine and complain about having to get up early on a Saturday to do it. Because they were gone.
Ford winced. “Oh shit, I stepped in it, didn’t I?”
He must’ve been able to read the grief on my face. The rest of the group clearly could too if their looks of sympathy were anything to go by. I gave my head a small shake. “No. It’s—” I was about to say that it was nothing, but that wasn’t how I was living anymore, from lie to half-truth. I didn’t need to hide from any of the people around this fire pit.
Brody’s hand found mine and gave an encouraging squeeze. I soaked in every ounce of strength I could from the palm-to-palm contact. “My parents were killed. It’s been a long time, but every now and then, something takes me by surprise.” I gave Ford the best smile I could. “It’s not your fault, really.”
“I’m still sorry,” he muttered.
Griffin cleared his throat. “I know how that is. It can be a sucker punch to the gut.” I nodded, remembering that he’d lost people close to him also. “But the good stuff can pop up, too. Can’t have one without the other.”
I gripped Brody’s hand harder. “You’re right.” I didn’t do enough remembering the good. It was too easy to push it all down for fear of something sending me into a spiral of fear and panic. “My mom would’ve been right with Ford and Hunter on the redecorating train. She always went all out for every holiday. I swear she even made a little display for Flag Day.”
Caelyn reached over and squeezed my knee. “I’m really sorry you lost them.”
I swallowed against the emotions trying to crawl up my throat. “Thank you. I am, too.” My heart hammered in my ears as if the organ lived there. “It was my brother. He killed them.” The group went completely silent. The only sounds were the crackles and pops of the fire. “He tried to kill me, too. It’s why…” I searched for the right words to explain without having to reopen every wound. “It’s why I try to keep a low profile.”
“He’s not in jail?” Griffin asked, his voice hard.
“He was only eleven when it happened. He got out a few months ago.”
Caelyn gasped. “Shay. I’m so sorry. I can’t imagine.”
I took a sip of my soda. “He’s very sick. But good at pretending he’s not.”
Bell leaned forward, her blond hair glowing in the light of the fire. “What can we do?”
My eyes burned. I pretended it was from the smoke of the fire. But deep down, I knew the truth. They burned from the tenderness of the offer. And because I was the one who had kept myself from this kind of support for so many years. By keeping my distance from every single person who had offered friendship.
Brody seemed to sense the battle within me, the way he sensed everything and pulled me closer against him. “You’re not shutting people out now.”
I nodded and met Bell’s gaze. “He doesn’t know where I am. But if someone ever asks about me in town…” My blood chilled at the thought. “Let me know.”
“Of course,” she said.
Ford wrapped an arm around Bell’s shoulders. “We’ve got your back. Whatever you need, just let us know.”
Caelyn patted my knee. “Anything. Just say the word.”
Hunter nodded. “No one’s going to hurt you here. We look out for our own.”
And I was one of theirs. A member of this pieced-together family. One that wasn’t linked together by blood but by choice. And wasn’t that the greatest gift of all?
Brody steered the conversation away from serious topics and back towards the everyday. We talked about plans for the summer. Beaches to visit and hikes to take. Caelyn shared plans for the island’s Memorial Day parade. How the kids would all participate, and the fair that took place afterwards.
In the three years I’d been here, I’d never attended. Even when the Dowds had gone. But this year, I vowed to go. I’d watch the adorable little ones make their way down Main Street. And I’d stuff my face with funnel cake. I’d hold Brody’s hand for the whole town to see and kiss him under the starlight. I’d soak up every beautiful experience this place had to offer. And I’d do it, knowing I had friends who had my back.