He blinked. “What?”
“What did you say?” Her face was transforming as she stared at him, the brokenness turning into something else. Stunned. Awed. And more than that.
Very confused now, he tried to answer her. “I said I’ll do what you need me to do? Why are you looking like that? I was so happy today, but obviously you aren’t, and I need you to be happy even more than I need to be happy myself. So just tell me what I need to do, and I swear I’ll—”
“Did you say you loved me?” The choked sound of her voice was more than tears now. It was joy.
It sounded exactly like joy.
His heart began to pound like a jackhammer. “Of course I love you. I’m hardly telling you new information here.”
“Not new— Oh my God, Robert! Yes, it’s new information. You think I already knew that?”
“Didn’t you?” He was cold and hot at the same time, but the world was shifting back now to where it had been a few minutes ago. The ache and panic he’d been slammed with were dissipating, leaving him so relieved he was shaking with it. “Amanda, you can’t possibly have been upset just now because you thought I didn’t love you! What did you think all this was about? I’ve never let someone in the way I have you. Why else would I have turned into someone who babbles out cheesy, sentimental endearments? Of course I love you. But if you aren’t ready—”
“Yes, I’m ready!” she burst out, beaming with a radiance that left him breathless even as her face was still streaked with tears. “I thought I was doing the same thing I did before, imagining what I wanted out of the relationship. If you expect me to know something, you actually have to say the words, you big dummy.” She gave him a couple of light swats on the chest.
Before she could give the third swat, he gathered her into a tight hug. “I love you, sunshine. I’m saying the words. I love you more than anything. I didn’t think I was even capable of feeling this way, but you’ve opened up all kinds of new places in my soul. I love you.” He was kissing her hair. Her temple. Any part of her his lips could reach since her face was buried against his suit coat.
She mumbled something that sounded like, “I love you too,” so he pulled back and took her head in his hands so he could see her face.
“What did you say?”
She was laughing and crying at the same time. “I said I love you too.”
He hugged her again, tighter than before. “Okay. Just making sure I heard you right.”
AMANDA SPENT THE REST of the day in a ridiculous state of giggling bliss.
It was almost embarrassing. Or it would have been if she hadn’t been too happy to care.
She wasn’t sure how it had happened, but the nature of reality had apparently altered. Life hadn’t turned out for the worst. What she wanted most hadn’t cruelly been snatched away. She loved Robert, and he loved her back.
Maybe the world wasn’t always out to hurt her after all.
She had no doubt she’d return to a more tempered and realistic perspective soon enough, but for the moment she couldn’t stop laughing and hugging herself. She did manage to pull it together enough to return to the reception with Robert. He was holding her hand when they returned, so their relationship was immediately made public.
But it wasn’t weird or awkward or cringeworthy. As clichéd as it was, she actually enjoyed showing the rest of the world that Robert Castleman was her man.
The guests hung out on the yacht for a couple more hours, and then they had to disembark so the newlyweds could set sail on their honeymoon. She and Robert returned to the hotel. They had quick, eager sex as soon as they reached her room without even getting most of their clothes off. Then they showered and cleaned up and ordered room service for dinner. They watched some TV and checked their phones and took it easy for the evening. Then Amanda decided she wanted a bath, so she indulged in a long, hot soak.
She was still having private giggles when she got out, dried off, rubbed herself down with lotion, and put on a little cotton nightgown. She hadn’t brought any sexy lingerie on this trip, so Robert was out of luck in that regard.
She didn’t really care. She looked bright and flushed and ridiculously happy in the mirror as she brushed her hair and teeth. Maybe her edges were still kind of sharp, but right now she looked almost soft.
And she liked it.
When she came out into the main room, Robert was stretched out on the bed, wearing nothing but his pajama pants. He had the covers pushed down to his knees, and he was reading something—probably news—on his phone.
“Anything happening?” she asked.
“Just idiots doing idiotic things. What else?” He glanced up, and his face softened into a smile. “Hi.”
“Hi.”
“Good bath?”
“Very.”
“You’re looking particularly scrumptious at the moment.”
She gave him the eye roll he deserved. “This is a boring, everyday gown, and it does nothing for my boobs. I’m not looking that good.”
“We’ll have to disagree on that particular issue. You’re the hottest thing I’ve ever seen.”
She was touched by the sentiment although she didn’t quite believe it. To hide her reaction, she did an exaggerated pageant strut toward the bed.
He chuckled and propped himself up higher on his pillows. “Very nice. Now do that pretty-feet thing you were showing off earlier.”
“You weren’t even enjoying it earlier!”
“Yes, I was. What are you talking about?”
“You weren’t laughing like everyone else.”
“That’s because I was kind of overwhelmed with other feelings. But I’m in a better frame of mind now, so show me again. Give me a private pageant.”
She shook her head and rolled her eyes, but she wasn’t about to refuse him. So she found some generic music on her phone to play for accompaniment and then went back into the bathroom to give him a whole routine.
She strode out, her hands turned outward near her hips, and stopped on the first spot, twirling and smiling and simpering. Then she moved to another spot and posed again, this time bobbing her head in a series of nods like she was supposed to give to the judges. When she moved from that spot, she tossed her hair and gave him an over-the-shoulder look and final wink before she returned to the bathroom.
Robert was overwhelmed by laughter by the end of it, and she was pretty proud of herself for that accomplishment.
When she peeked back out, he gestured toward her, and she ran over and jumped onto the bed, trying to tackle him. He was ready for her, however. He was sitting up fully now, leaning against the headboard, and he pulled her onto his lap.
After kissing her for a while, he asked, “Did you really do that whole ridiculous routine when you were six years old?”
“Yes. I really did.”
“I can’t believe your mom did that to you.”
“I don’t think she had any idea how much I hated it. I wanted her to be happy with me, so I did it until I just couldn’t anymore.”
“She should have known better.”
“Yes. She should have. But that was a long time ago. Any similar performances I give anymore will have to be just for you.”