They fell quiet, and Ben struggled with his emotions. Violet slumped deeper into the sofa cushions near him, as though the telling of her story had wiped away the last vestiges of energy. Her eyes closed, whether in exhaustion or wanting to avoid looking at him, he didn’t know. But for a moment, he was glad, simply because he wanted to say the right thing, do the right thing, but had no idea what that was.
This woman was strong, hard-working, beautiful, giving, loving… everything a man could want. Ben had witnessed infidelity but always at a distance. Over the years in the military, he’d seen friends receive Dear John letters where their spouses had found someone who’d be home and not on a mission. He’d also witnessed married comrades pick up women in bars when they were away from home. But he knew deep down in his core that could never be him. His parents’ marriage had been strong from what he witnessed as a child and from what his grandparents told him. Certainly, his grandparents’ marriage was long and loving. And with his SEAL team, those who found love remained faithful, loving, and dedicated.
“He was weak.” He winced as his words slipped out unheeded before he had a chance to think them through. Violet’s eyes jerked open, and she stared at him. Deciding he’d already stepped into the situation, he continued. “He was a weak man. A weak husband. A weak father. Just fuckin’ weak.”
She licked her lips and nodded slowly. “I know, and I agree. Believe me, I went through all the emotions you’d imagine. Shock. Disbelief. Hurt. Anger. A lot of anger. It was hard not to internalize it all. Why? Wasn’t I good enough? Weren’t we enough for him? What could I have done?”
“Nothing. There was nothing you could have done because he was the weak link.” He watched her tilt her head to the side in silent question. He pulled his thoughts together, praying he could help her understand what he was thinking. “As SEALs, we’re not allowed a weak link. We succeed because everyone on the team is the best we can be. We had different specialties, but we were all fuckin’ strong links in our chain. We had to go into missions knowing that every single one of us was strong enough to take care of anything that came along. To not be so could mean death for us all.”
“Oh, Ben, I never thought about your former job. Or how it describes you… or maybe how you describe it.”
He cupped her cheek, loving the feel of her soft skin. “I know I’ve never been married—hell, never been in a long-term relationship—but I know that both parties have to be strong. They can complement each other and work together to become stronger. But they both have to be strong. It can’t be one strong and the other a weak link or the chain won’t hold. Violet, it wasn’t you. It was all on him. He was the weak link.”
He had no idea if his words made sense but held his breath as she sucked in her lips, thoughts working behind her eyes. She nodded slowly, blowing out a heavy sigh.
“You’re right. I never thought of it that way, but you’re right.”
“I can only imagine your pain and heartache. To deal with the grief of death on top of the grief of infidelity would have taken a weaker person down. But that’s not you. You’re strong. You’re resilient. And that’s what you pass on to Lily and Charlie.”
“I admit, it was hard. I told a few girlfriends. Tara knows. At least I had a small support system. But for the most part, the world expected a grieving widow… and I was… just grieving more than his death.” With her last words, she grabbed his arm, her eyes wide as though pleading for him to understand. “I ached for the loss of my husband no matter the circumstances. I was lonely. I grieved for the loss of my children’s father. All the things he would miss in their lives. Once I managed to make it past the anger, I thought that even if he had left us, he would still have been their father. Now, they have to go through life with no dad.”
“I understand… at least part of that, I mean.” He gently pulled her close and she shifted her body so that her head was tucked under his chin and her face was pressed against his chest. They sat as the clock ticked the minutes, both giving and taking comfort as they held each other. She felt so right in his arms, and he closed his eyes, allowing his senses to fill with her. Her breath puffed across his arm. Her heart beat in time with his. Her scent filled his nostrils. Her soft curves molded to the hard planes of his body. Everything about her called to him as no other woman ever had.
With his lips pressed to the top of her head, he whispered, “My parents were killed when I was ten years old. Grandpa and Babciu raised me.” He felt her jerk but kept his arms around her. “It was a car accident, too. My grandparents swooped in and took care of everything. The funeral. Getting my things to their house, then taking care of my parents’ house. Making sure I had what I needed. Christ, as hard as it was to lose my parents, my grandparents took a scared, grieving little boy and made my life as good as it could be under the circumstances. I hate like hell my parents were killed but am grateful every day that I had someone who was in my corner.”
She pushed against him, and he loosened his grip, afraid of what he would see in her eyes. He’d always hated the pity that most people offered, especially when they had no idea what to say. She twisted around so that she could look directly at him. His heart pounded, and he felt sure she could hear it even with her ear no longer pressed against his chest. He needn’t have worried. What greeted him were her beautiful eyes, filled with emotion but not pity.
“Oh, Ben, I had no idea, but now I understand how you relate to Charlie and Lily so well. I knew you were so close to Anna but had no idea she was your surrogate mother. And I knew she was special but had no idea how special.”
“Don’t you see, Violet? You’re just as special.”
“I’m just a mom—”
“No,” he interrupted, not wanting her to downplay what she did. “There are other moms who would have ranted and raved about their husband’s infidelity. Been so angry that it would have spewed out into everything in their lives, including their children. They would have cloaked themselves in self-pity, or loathing, or destructive behavior. But you… you’ve given your children the chance to remember the good parts of their father. You haven’t tainted Lily’s memories or Charlie’s ideas of Matt. You’ve moved on, giving them a good life, being both mom and dad. They’ve learned how to deal with life and be resilient through you. That’s a gift you cannot downplay or deny you’ve given.”
She sucked in her lips and breathed heavily through her nose. Finally, swallowing deeply, she whispered, “You’re a real boost for my ego.”
His chest felt lighter and the tightness around his heart eased. Reaching up, he cupped her face, drawing her forward until their lips met. Slowly at first and then building, the flames threatening to consume. The need to devour her was strong but he tempered his desire, wanting to take care of her.
She pulled back, her breath ragged. “I haven’t been with anyone since Matt. I’m not sure why that’s important for me to tell you.”
Her cheeks were blushed, and he wondered if it wasn’t embarrassment as much as passion. “You can tell me anything that you want to. Anything that’s important to you.”