Kathleen turned her head. “Are you having the time of your life?”
“Are you kidding? This whole trip is brilliant. It’s hard even to pick out a highlight so far. I mean—Chicago was incredible. And yesterday, crossing the Mississippi River and seeing The Chain of Rocks Bridge. I loved driving through the little hamlets and passing all those corn and soybean fields. Not that I would have known what was growing if that woman hadn’t told us. Everyone is so friendly and welcoming. Oh and that hamburger! And talking to that French couple. I never realized that this route had such international appeal. I want to stay longer in each place, but at the same time I can’t wait to move on and see what’s next. I feel excited the whole time. It’s made the world seem bigger. It’s made my whole life seem bigger. It’s as if—” she struggled to explain “—my experience with Steven filled my very small world, and now my world is so much larger and filled with possibilities that he no longer dominates. He’s become a small part of my big life, instead of a big part of my small life. This has shown me how important it is to reach outside your normal world. To embrace new experiences. Does that make any sense?”
“It does. I’m glad you’re finding it all so enriching.”
Martha loved the way Kathleen talked. “It’s all thanks to you. I think you might have saved me, although you’ve also probably cost me a fortune. Now I’ve got the travel bug and I don’t have the money to subsidize my new passion, but I’ll figure something out. Maybe you’ll need a driver for your next exciting road trip.” She’d already started thinking. There was no way she was returning to her deeply unsatisfying life back home. Maybe she could work for a tour company. Or maybe she’d backpack around the world for a couple of years with nothing but a rucksack and her wits. She could work in bars or cafés. There were no rules that said you had to have a big corporate-type career or a professional qualification to enjoy life. And if her parents didn’t approve—well, tough. This was her life, not theirs. Their judgment was not going to affect her choices. That part of her life was in the past, along with Scoundrel Steven, as she now thought of him. “All I’m saying is that it’s funny how life turns out, isn’t it? Good can come from bad. If your relationship hadn’t ended you probably wouldn’t have had the career you did. Traveling the world. Making all those TV shows. You were a superstar.” She’d managed to find some clips of The Summer Seekers on the internet and she and Kathleen had watched them together the night before. “I’m talking too much.”
“I enjoy your conversation. Do continue.”
Kathleen enjoyed her conversation.
“I mean let’s say you’d married him—” Martha followed the Route 66 sign and made a right turn. “He might have cheated on you after you were married and already had two kids. That wouldn’t have been fun.”
“No fun at all.”
“It would have been harder to move on, and your options would have been limited. Instead of which you had this wonderful, exciting life and then fell in love and had kids later. That sounds good to me. Like the best of both worlds. Did Brian really have to propose three times?”
“Yes.” Kathleen’s voice was faint, as if she couldn’t quite believe she’d told Martha that.
“You probably protected yourself. Like one of those ancient castles they built in Roman times. An emotional fortress.” She glanced at Kathleen. “I’m not saying you’re crumbly or anything.”
Kathleen adjusted her glasses. “Many would consider me to be something of a ruin.”
“I think you’re great. And I understand. I’m not interested in another relationship, that’s for sure.”
“That needs to be remedied with some urgency.”
“How can you say that, when you’ve just confessed you avoided relationships?”
“We might have to entertain the possibility that I’m a hypocrite.” Kathleen reached for the little mirror she kept in her purse and checked her lipstick. “Or it could be that I don’t want you to make the mistakes I did.”
“But you had a full and happy life.”
Kathleen stared out the window. “Until I met Brian, it was lacking in intimacy. I kept myself apart from people, male and female.” The waver in her voice made Martha suspect that was a significant admission from Kathleen.
Had she ever said these things to anyone else?
“Self-protection.” Martha nodded. “That’s natural. You put your heart on ice. Like the fish counter in the supermarket where they keep it all cool. Shrimp on ice.”
“You’re comparing me to a fish?”
“Not you. Your heart. Heart and sole. Get it? Sole. Never mind. Maybe champagne on ice would have been more appropriate.” Particularly for Kathleen who seemed to drink only Earl Grey tea or bubbles. “Whatever. It was frozen.”
“It was fear. And fear narrows your choices and your life experience. I don’t want that for you. We need you to have a nice rebound relationship as soon as possible to get your confidence back.”
Martha hit the brakes, relieved there were no cars in front or behind. “A rebound relationship?” Changing the subject was one thing, but this went beyond her comfort zone. Maybe she did have a few boundaries after all.
“Yes. How would you put it? Get back on the horse.”
“Get back on—Kathleen! I can’t believe you said that.”
“We’ve already established that I say what I think, although maybe it is presumptuous of me to make such a personal observation given the length of our acquaintance.”
Martha smiled. “It’s probably because we’ve bonded so quickly.”
“Bonded?”
“I like you. I think you like me a little too, although I get that you probably won’t say so because you don’t like to talk about your emotions. And that’s fine. Probably a generation thing. But it’s not always about words, is it? Sometimes it’s how a person behaves. You want me to be happy. And that’s nice.”
Kathleen cleared her throat. “It’s true that I may have developed a certain fondness for you, Martha.”
Martha felt a pressure in her throat. “I’ve developed a fondness for you too. Weird, isn’t it? After only a few days?”
“I’ve never believed that the quality of a relationship is dependent on its length.”
Was she thinking about her friend?
“I’m the same. I’ve known my mother all my life and I don’t feel as close to her as I do to you.”
“Concentrate on the road, Martha, or the next person we meet might well be pulling us out of the ditch. We’re going to find you someone. I’ve always been very good at spotting a partner for other people. Not so good with myself.”