That delicious pasta turned to ash in my mouth because there was no way he could’ve been following my thoughts. It was my turn to glare now.
“What?” he asked. “Are we not talking about that?”
Paige stifled a laugh.
He sighed. “You’re supposed to tell me when I’m not allowed to ask things,” he said to his wife.
Molly laughed. “Iz is just touchy because she had such a raging crush on him when he first started to fight.”
“I did not,” I protested, but it was a weak one at best. I wouldn’t have believed me either.
Lia laughed. “You used to cut his picture out of Sports Illustrated and tape it up on the back of your door. You told us after he was at the gym the first time.”
Hands shaking as I gripped my plate, I stood from the table. I’d rather face a firing squad than that topic. “You know, I think I’m done eating.”
Paige smacked Lia. “Should we remind you of who you used to tape up on your wall?”
Her laughter faded. We all remembered the Bieber-with-the-long-hair phase Lia and Claire went through. It lasted a solid two years.
“My eardrums are still recovering from that block of time,” Logan muttered.
Jude hummed. “Kate Winslet for me. I met her at a dinner a few years ago, and I about passed out when she shook my hand.”
“See?” I gestured to Jude. “It’s not just me.”
Molly snuck a piece of bread from Noah’s plate, pointing a finger at me when she was done chewing. “He’s your boss, though. Your ability to separate your past feelings is vital if you’re going to keep professional boundaries.”
“Are you serious?” I asked.
“What?”
Noah gave her a look. “You’re one to talk. Do I need to remind you of how our past caught up with us on the job?”
Molly’s cheeks turned pink. “No.”
I gave him a smile. “Thank you, Noah. You’re my favorite almost-brother-in-law.”
“I’m your only almost-brother-in-law.”
Jude held up his hand. “Hello, sitting right here.”
My brother gave him a level look. “Is there a ring on Lia’s finger we don’t see?”
Wisely, Jude didn’t argue. He just slid his arm around my younger sister, who beamed in his direction.
Setting my plate down on the kitchen island, I tried to ignore the way Paige was looking at me from the table. She wasn’t even trying to hide it, and when Logan whispered something in her ear, she smiled, but her eyes stayed trained on me.
She saw too much. From the day she showed up in our lives, she had this uncanny ability to see through me like I was made of plastic wrap. I hated it. And I needed it.
My sisters, for whatever reason, and though they loved me eternally, never had the same talent. They saw the same thing that everyone else did. Isabel, the intimidating sister. Isabel, the one you didn’t mess with. Isabel, the one who’d fight the world if someone messed with her family.
But every once in a while, I wondered at how they couldn’t see what was underneath all of that.
Sometimes I felt like everything truly good I could offer someone was lined in metal and locked under the surface. Even I wasn’t sure how to pry the lid off. Aiden, all of this, it made me realize just how long I’d gone being content with that.
As I cleared my plate, Paige quietly stood and joined me in the kitchen. Nudging me with her shoulder, she leaned in to whisper, “Talk to me.”
“About what?”
She sighed. “Are we gonna play that game where you act like there’s nothing wrong? Just let me know if we are, and I’ll put on my stubborn pants.”
I took her plate and rinsed it off, setting it in the dishwasher next to mine. “I just don’t know what they want me to say. Yes, teenage Isabel had a … thing for him. I can’t change it, and it doesn’t mean anything now.”
Liar, liar, pants on fire.
“So why do you look like you want to teleport out of here when they ask you about him?”
I closed the dishwasher and leaned against the counter. With a shrug, I gave her a helpless look. “Because I do. And I just … ugh. All of this makes me feel so …” I shuddered.
Paige studied me, nodding slowly as I spoke. “He makes you feel off-balance and out of control, which you would hate. Come to think of it, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you get like this over a man.”
With a groan, I covered my face with my hands. “Can we stop talking about it?”
She laughed. “Okay, okay. I’m done.”
Logan joined us. “Sorry, Iz, I didn’t know that was a forbidden topic.”
What an interesting choice of words. Aiden was certainly that.
Something I wanted but couldn’t have. For all I knew, he still hadn’t grieved his wife. Who, by all accounts, had been beautiful and kind. His high school sweetheart, from the article I read one day when I’d felt a little maudlin. He was starting over, taking care of his daughter, and more than likely, he’d remain as he was. An active participant in all my best fantasies until I’d get over it one day. Hopefully.
“It’s fine.” I sighed.
He glanced at Paige. “Did you ask her about Emmett?”
“What about Emmett?” I asked.
“Paige wants to come to the away game in Tampa,” my brother said. Paige gave him a look that had him grinning.
“Can you not, with the eye contact?” I asked.
Paige laughed. “Would you be able to stay with Emmett for a couple of days? He’s got a school thing that Friday he can’t miss.”
“Sure. When’s the game?”
As I scrolled through my phone calendar, he named the mid-September date. “Molly going to the game too?”
Paige shook her head. “She doesn’t want to use any time off that close to the wedding. I think she’ll be gone for work, anyway.”
Because we’d already teased her relentlessly about it when she first started her planning, I raised my voice when I replied. “Yeah, what kind of bride plans an October wedding in a family of athletes?”
Molly raised her voice right back. “I knew it was a bye week, okay? You try to book the venue of your dreams when half the people in your family play in some sort of professional sport.”
Paige laughed.
She wasn’t wrong. Juggling the schedules of my sisters and their significant others was a nightmare.
“Lia will be gone at an away game with Jude, and Claire is going to be up in Vancouver with Bauer while he trains.”
I waved off Paige’s explanations. “It’s fine. Plenty of time to request the weekend off.”
“New guy won’t mind?” she asked.
My gaze stayed locked onto my phone. “I can’t see why he would.”
Emmett ran into the kitchen and dumped his plate into the sink with a crash. Paige rolled her eyes.
“Am I staying with you when they leave, Iz?”
“I think we’ll stay here if that’s okay.”
He nodded. “Totally. Your apartment is so boring.”
“It is not. I just don’t require seventy-plus inches of my wall space dedicated to television viewing like some people I know.” I gave Logan a look.