“Good.” I held her eyes. “Now feel how I’m going to put my hand over yours. It’s not about yanking my arm out of your grip. It’s about taking back the control.”
I wrapped my hand over the top of hers and pushed down slightly, her body moved toward me, and I swung the arm she was holding down and around, so I could use that hand to grab her forearm. Once I’d done that, her upper body was forced to turn away from me, and I pushed down gently. Almost immediately, she was down on one knee.
“Whoa.” She laughed.
“Now try to stand up,” I told her, hand still holding her arm in position.
She couldn’t.
“See? I’m not trying to overpower anyone. I just want to put myself in a position where I can disengage and escape. So now that you’re down like that, I’m going to let go and run.”
Casey stood, her eyes lit with excitement. “Can you show me again?”
A bit more slowly, I went through it two more times until she felt like she could try it on me.
We reversed spots, and after one correction of how she was gripping my hand, she had me down on one knee, body turned away from her.
“Excellent,” I told her. “Let’s do that one more time, and we’ll move on to another move.”
Casey did great, pushing me down and away from her with more ease, and her smile was broad when I stood back up.
“Okay, how do you feel about grabbing me by my braid? I can show you a really easy way to escape if someone grabs your hair.”
Immediately, her face went pale. “I … I don’t know.”
I held my hands up. “We won’t do anything that will make you feel uncomfortable, I promise.”
She crossed her arms over her stomach again. “I could grab yours fine, I think, I just … I can’t have that …” Her voice trailed off and she gestured vaguely to her own ponytail. Casey squeezed her eyes shut. “I wasn’t like … attacked or anything. It was just a drunk guy at a party, and he got a little handsy.”
My heart broke as she fumbled for words, and all that fiery rage I’d felt earlier came roaring back. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”
Behind her, I saw Aiden drop his chin to his chest, which expanded on a deep inhale.
I took my own steadying breath. “Would you mind if I brought in someone who can show you how this works?”
Casey blinked, looking uncertain.
“He’ll only grab my hair,” I promised. “He won’t touch you at all, okay? Or we could do another move too.”
“No,” she said. “I can watch. Thank you, Isabel.”
I laid a hand on her arm and squeezed. My gaze found Aiden’s, and I lifted my chin. “Could you help me a second, please?”
He pushed from the beam and walked over, and I had to curl up my fingers into a fist when I felt the slightest tremor of nerves.
Casey gave him a quick, tight smile, and he answered with a small nod.
“Casey, this is Aiden. He’s our owner.”
She waved. “Hi. Sorry for being a chicken about this.”
He dipped his head down because she was so much shorter than him. “Don’t ever apologize, okay? It’s hard to let someone put their hands on you, even if it’s just to practice.”
I had to fight the urge not to think something unfair like, oh, screw him for saying something perfect. I didn’t want Aiden to say and do perfect things. I wanted him to screw up. Do something that made me mad. Do something that made me want to call Carl back and tell him I’d take his job offer.
And that was the thing. I didn’t want to take Carl’s job offer. I’d only do it if I had a really, really good reason. As Aiden faced me, green eyes locked onto my face, I had to make peace with the fact that him knocking my emotions off-kilter was not a good reason.
Imagining us together wasn’t a good reason.
Wondering if he had any room in his life, his heart, for someone new wasn’t enough either.
Acknowledging it was enough to calm something frantic inside me. Trusting that I knew it was right to stay, even if it took me time to move past this, had me breathing easier.
“Aiden is going to grab my hair, okay?” I said to Casey even though my gaze didn’t move from his. “And I want you to watch how I move my arm.”
He made no quick moves, nothing designed to surprise. As his arm lifted, shifting the muscles underneath the cotton of his shirt, it was just a little bit harder to breathe. Ribs squeezed in when the thick column of his throat moved on a heavy swallow. Because I’d just imagined us so clearly, there was a blurring in my head of what was real and what wasn’t.
Just before he touched me, he hesitated. Our gazes held like that, and I wondered what he saw in my face.
When his hand curled around my braid, his fingers brushed against the nape of my neck. It was so light, barely even there, but I shivered all the same.
And he noticed. His eyes narrowed just slightly.
To the side, Casey moved, and I blinked.
I moved my attention to her. “Don’t ever try to yank away or try to pull their hand off your hair.”
She’d wrapped her lips over her teeth, but she nodded. Two bright pink spots dotted her cheeks.
“Watch where I pull down, just by his elbow.”
I took a deep breath and swung the arm that was between us, hooking it around the top of his arm and yanking it forward in a big C shape. Aiden stumbled forward, and I caught sight of Casey’s huge smile.
Aiden quirked an eyebrow at me when he straightened to his full height, and at his expression, I exhaled a laugh.
“Again?” he asked. His tone was warm, and my toes curled in my shoes.
I nodded.
He grabbed my hair again, his grip a bit more firm. I motioned for him to wait. “Watch what I do at the end now. This is only if you feel like you need it.”
“Do I get a warning of what you’re going to do to me?” he asked.
“Nope.”
Casey laughed.
His hand tightened, my skin humming as it did, and I swung my arm around again—harder this time—and when he stumbled forward, I kicked my foot into the back of his already bent knee, and he immediately fell forward.
Casey clapped. “That was awesome.”
With a grin, I gave her a high five. “And I’m not bigger or stronger than him, right?”
She shook her head.
Aiden straightened again, pinning me with a look that almost, almost could’ve looked amused. Something light and bubbling hit my bloodstream, and I desperately wanted to grip his face in my hands and kiss him when he looked like that.
With all the control I was capable of, I pulled my focus away from him.
“It’s not about fighting them off, Casey. Disengage and escape. That’s all you ever need to worry about.”
“Thanks,” I told him.
“I think we’re even now,” he murmured, pointing at the steel beam where Anya had been perched.
I nodded jerkily.
He gave a quick nod to Casey. “Call tomorrow if you want to set up a free training session with either Isabel or Kelly, okay? It’s on me.”
“Thank you,” she said fervently. “You guys are awesome.”
He disappeared off the gym floor and back into his office, and slowly, my heart returned to a normal speed.