“If only he could kick a field goal,” someone said under their breath.
I didn’t see who said it or I would have called them out. “It’s a team win. We celebrate as a team.”
“Jefferson sucks,” added someone else through a fake cough.
The whole team laughed.
“We’re celebrating our team win together right now,” I said more firmly.
Smith rolled his eyes at me. And not in a cute way like Penny did. But in a disrespectful way.
“Everyone eat a damn cookie or I’ll have you running sprints until Monday morning!” I wasn’t sure what made me snap. Maybe it was the frustration of not being able to help Jefferson fit in. That I just kept making it worse somehow. Or maybe it was the stress of who was in the stands. I didn’t know. But I did know what it was like to be on the team. They’d all be going to a house party tonight. Drinks. Drugs. They didn’t want cookies. I’d basically set Jefferson up for failure.
I grabbed a cookie and bit into it a little more violently than necessary. “Now,” I added and pointed at one of the trays.
The team slowly obliged. But I knew I hadn’t helped Jefferson at all. I’d just made myself look like a dick and showed favoritism toward everyone else’s least favorite player.
Jefferson pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose as he watched everyone grab a cookie.
“These really are great,” I said with my mouth full.
He smiled, but it didn’t look like he believed me.
I felt defeated. I was trying my best, but I was just making his life at Empire High worse. There had to be a way to improve his game. I just…didn’t know what it was. I patted Jefferson on the back. “We’ll keep practicing next week, okay? I know you’ve got this.”
He nodded and then went to pick up his trays of cookies, one of which had gone entirely untouched.
“Great game,” Penny said as the stands emptied. Scarlett was asleep in her arms, and Tanner looked very pleased with himself.
“Thanks. Here, let me.” I lifted Scarlett up. She really was getting heavy.
I felt someone staring at me. I looked over to see the one-night stand no longer smiling. Actually, she seemed rather horrified. She looked back and forth between me and Penny and then retreated into the crowd.
Weird. I looked down at Scarlett. Oh. She thought… I lifted my gaze to meet Penny’s. That woman must have thought that this was my family. Scarlett my daughter. Penny my wife.
And for the first time in ages, I wanted it. I wanted a family. A wife. A fucking life. I immediately pushed the thought away. I’d made a promise to Brooklyn. To love her and only her. And despite what she thought before she died, I wasn’t a liar. It was like I could feel the guilt twist around my chest. I don’t want a family. I don’t want a wife. I’m fine.
“Do you guys want to grab milkshakes or something to celebrate?” Penny asked. “I know there’s a diner down the street. I could really go for a chocolate milkshake right now. It feels very high school.”
Tanner laughed. “Sounds good to me. Although back in my day milkshakes didn’t…” he cleared his throat. “Sorry, something in my throat. They weren’t popular, I mean.” And then he nudged me in the ribs. Which in Tanner speak meant he had something to tell me. Which meant he’d grilled Penny. And he had answers.
“Yeah, let’s get out of here.” I needed those answers. And I needed to be as far away from this stadium as possible tonight. Because I couldn’t stand here thinking about a possible future without feeling like a monster.
Chapter 6
Friday
“So Tanner has a few ideas about your potential dating prospects,” Penny said.
I choked on my milkshake.
She started talking again, oblivious to the fact that I was going to die a slow painful milkshake death. “And it will be kind of nice to have his help because James doesn’t exactly like us hanging out alone. He’s got it stuck in his head that you want to sleep with me.” She laughed like the thought was ridiculous.
It wasn’t. It really, really wasn’t.
“Don’t worry, I promised him that you don’t have feelings for me like that,” she said. “But he’s being really stubborn about this. You know how he gets a little overprotective sometimes.”
“Oh yeah,” Tanner said, slapping me on the back to help with my choking. “Sorry, I forgot to give you a heads-up. During the game I found out that James knows about Penny helping you find true love.”
Clearly. How the fuck did James find out? What the hell was going on?
“It’s cool,” Tanner said. “We have a solution to work around that. A loophole, if you will.”
I ignored him. “Penny, you promised you wouldn’t tell anyone,” I said.
“Right. Any random person. Or like one of our friends. But I tell James everything. You know that. I don’t know how to keep a secret from him. Besides, we have cameras all over our apartment. He wanted to know why you were there. And don’t look at me like that. Tanner was the one that brought it up at the game. So we’re even. I told my husband and you told your…your Tanner.”
My Tanner? I didn’t have time to digest how gay that sounded. Because James was going to kill me for sneaking around behind his back with his wife. I was having dinner with him and Mason and Rob tomorrow night. Which meant I probably wouldn’t live to see Sunday.
“I’m sorry,” she added. “I really am. James asked and I couldn’t lie. You know I’m a terrible liar.”
She was. But still. Fuck.
Tanner cleared his throat. “Anyway, back to what I was saying. Penny’s going to let James know that I’m helping you find true love too. So it’s no longer an issue of the two of you hanging out.”
If he said “true love” one more time I was going to snap. I’d told him that this stupid dating app thing wasn’t about finding true love. It was about getting to hang out with Penny one on one. Not hanging out with her and Tanner. What was he doing?
Penny took a sip of her milkshake.
And for a second, as her lips wrapped around the straw, I forgot that I was pissed at her. God, I just wanted to feel those lips around my cock. Stop.
“It’s a good thing you did tell Tanner,” Penny said. “He told me he has a whole binder full of potential suitors.” She frowned. “No, that’s not the right word. Suitresses? Maybe?”
Tanner nodded. “Yes, it’s a bit of a dated term, but suitress is the female equivalent to suitor. I’m impressed that you knew that. I haven’t heard the term in years. And I do indeed have a binder full of suitresses.”
I didn’t need his binder full of women. We’d literally just talked about this last night. Did he have severe memory loss or something?
“Mommy?” Scarlett said, yawning awake from her nap. “I need to use the potty. Please,” she added.
“Okay,” Penny said and scooped her up into her arms. “Be right back.” She practically sprinted to the restroom.
Scarlett liked to give very little warning before she needed to use the bathroom. In that one way she was just like her father. Very uncaring of the consequences of her actions. Fine, she also had brown eyes like James. Otherwise she was as sweet and beautiful as her mother.