“Okay.” He patted my shoulder. “No more lovers are stopping by. Let’s go have the best damn guys’ night in the history of guys’ nights.” He raised his glass to mine.
I tapped mine to his and we both took a drink.
“Let me get rid of Georgia and Stacy. Then please rejoin us at the table.” He nodded and then walked over. Georgia blew me a kiss before looping arms with Stacy and pulling her over toward a different table filled with hopefully single men looking for what I assumed was not true love.
I took a deep breath before rejoining my table.
“Are you two finished with your lover’s quarrel?” Rob asked.
I did not find that joke funny.
“Because if you really want to be set up, as your best friend, I have a few people in mind.”
I cringed. First Penny. Then Tanner. Then James. Now Rob too? Was Mason also suddenly going to be a matchmaker?
“I’m his best friend,” Tanner said. “And I’ve got this covered.”
Rob laughed. “You’re surely mistaken. I’m Matt’s best friend. Tell him, Matt. Tell him I’m the one that’s going to help set you up.”
James jumped in to save me. “Enough about Matt’s dating life. If he wanted any of our help, he’d ask us.” He gave me a small smile. “Anyway, how are renovations on your place going?”
Thank God for the change of subject. “Good. I’m almost done.”
“So are you finally going to have us over?”
I never invited anyone back to my place. Ever. None of my friends or family had ever been to my place. None of my one-night stands. I valued my privacy. And I didn’t want them poking around. “I’m actually just going to sell it, so no housewarming party needed.”
“You’re selling it?” Mason asked. “I thought you loved that place? You went on and on about how quiet the street was when you made a bid.”
Too quiet. I shrugged. “I changed my mind.”
“You decided you want to live on a noisier street?”
“I just outgrew the place. I have Bill stopping by to figure out the listing price.”
“Oh, so you mean like right away,” Mason said. “We all have to come over before you sell then…”
“Really, it’s fine. I’ll have you guys over to my next place.” I wouldn’t. They’d ask too many questions. They wouldn’t understand. Just thinking about them peeking around made me start to sweat.
“You okay?” Rob asked. “You look a little pale. Please don’t tell me you’re secretly a serial killer and have a bunch of dead bodies in your basement or something. Did you guys hear about all the crazy people in Penny’s old neighborhood? James was just telling me about it the other day.”
James laughed. “I’ve banned Penny from going home for a little while. There’s a serial killer loose. Or maybe a few.”
“Really?” I shook my head. “The world’s a crazy place.”
“Just imagine how crazy it was living in London while it was being bombed during World War 2,” Tanner said. “All those air raids?” He closed his eyes, his eyebrows pinched together, as he took a sip from his drink. “That must have been terrifying.”
“Are you a big history buff?” Rob asked.
Tanner opened his eyes again and cleared his throat. “History is a fascinating subject. As long as you don’t get stuck in the past.”
I felt like that was a jab at me.
“Hmm…” Rob looked back and forth between me and Tanner. “It’s interesting that you have a love for history. Matt finds history very boring. Most best friends enjoy the same hobbies.”
“History isn’t a hobby,” I said.
“Can we have a word in private, Matthew?” Rob said.
God, I was sick of all these sidebars. I followed him over to the bar. “If you called me Matthew I must be in trouble.”
“I need you to tell Tanner once and for all that I’m your best friend. This isn’t funny.”
“It’s a little funny,” I said, smiling as I took a sip.
Rob punched my shoulder a little too hard.
“Ow.”
“Who’s known you the longest? Who was there for you when you had food poisoning sophomore year at Harvard and were projectile vomiting everywhere?”
That was a gross night.
“Who had sleepovers with you every weekend growing up? And acted like an idiot so girls you’d like would choose you?”
“You did that on purpose?”
“Shut up. Whose kids call you Uncle Matt?”
“James’ do too…”
“This isn’t about James. This is about you and me. I was your wingman. And now you have Tanner parading randos in front of you when you’re supposed to be hanging out with us?”
“Right. You were my wingman. But you guys are all married. I needed a single friend.”
“Daphne wouldn’t care if you needed me to wingman for you.”
“Daphne would care.”
“Fine, she might care a little. But she’d understand that you needed me.”
That was true. “It’s not easy, you know. Being the seventh wheel.”
“You’re not the seventh wheel. And if you’re actually looking for a girlfriend, I can help.” He lowered his eyebrows as he stared at me. “I didn’t realize you were ready. We’ve never really talked about…”
“I’m not ready.” I wasn’t going to have this conversation twice today. “I have no idea why Tanner brought those girls here. I’m not interested in anything but a one-night stand.”
“Oh.” Rob nodded. “Okay. Well, good. That makes me feel better. Well, not better for you. I’m sorry, man.”
“It’s fine. Really.”
“If you want to talk about it…”
“I really don’t,” I said. “You know what would make tonight great? If no one brought up my love life again.”
Rob laughed. “You know what would make tonight great for me? If you just told Tanner that you and I are besties.”
“You’re both my friends. Can’t you try not to be jealous and get along?”
“I’m not jealous. I’m protective. That shady guy is definitely up to something on Tuesday nights. And I’m going to find out what it is.”
“Until then…be nice?”
“Fine.” He put his arm around my shoulders. “I’ll be nice to your back-up best friend.”
“Not a great start.” We made our way back over to the table.
“So you and Penny are solid then?” Tanner asked. He was leaning forward a little too far on the table. It looked like he was running an interrogation. “You’re absolutely sure of that?”
James frowned. “I’m positive.”
What was Tanner doing? Everyone was out of control tonight.
“Interesting,” Tanner said. “The last time I saw her she seemed kind of…I don’t know…off.”
“I don’t think you’ve been around my wife enough to know if she’s off.”
“Who wants another round?” I asked, trying to distract my friends before we all got into a brawl like we were dumb high schoolers again.