I wasn’t joking. She was my ideal girl. But she’d never be mine. I knew that. And yet…I was sitting here like an idiot anyway. “You promise this stays between us?” I asked. For some reason, I wanted this whole dating app thing to be a secret. I knew she’d already agreed. But I needed to know for real.
“I promise. It can be our little secret. Now describe your ideal girl.”
“I don’t know. Hot. Nice.”
She laughed. “Hot and nice? Did you think I was going to set you up with a mean uggo?”
Honestly I had no idea who she was planning on setting me up with. Because it didn’t seem like she had any idea what she was doing.
“You know what, let’s circle back to that vague answer later. I need some of your hobbies and interests right now.” She started typing in the app. “And by hobbies, I mean things besides sleeping with random girls with huge boobs. Actually, now that I mention it, I do know your type.”
I laughed. “That’s not my type.”
“Then what is?”
“I already told you. Petite redheads.” I winked at her.
She grabbed a pillow and threw it at me. “You’re incorrigible.”
I easily caught the pillow before it smacked me in the face. I liked when she was feisty. “Hobbies, huh? Well…” my voice trailed off as I thought about it. “I like to work.”
She shook her head and typed something into her phone. “I need more than just what you do for work. Tell me something you do for fun. Other than being the best babysitter in town.”
I smiled. I was a pretty badass babysitter for her kids. Rob’s too. But I didn’t really know what else she wanted me to say. “I like to work out.”
“Work and work out? Do you have any hobbies that don’t involve the word ‘work’?”
“I’m the head coach for the Empire High football team. It’s a volunteer thing, so you can’t say that’s work.”
She lifted her head and stared at me. “How did I not know that?”
“You never asked.”
“You sit in our living room every Sunday watching the Giants. You never thought to mention you were a volunteer football coach at your old high school?”
I shrugged.
“Interesting.” She typed something into her phone. “That’s actually really good. I can work with that. Smile for me.”
“What?”
She snapped a picture of me with her phone with my mouth open in mid-question. She looked at the picture and smiled. “Perfect,” she said.
“Are you using that as my profile picture?”
“Yup, it’ll do.”
“Let me see it.” I reached out for the phone.
She laughed and pulled it away. “No, it’s fine, I swear.”
I tried to reach around her, sandwiching her between me and the couch. “You’re sabotaging me.”
“I’m not sabotaging you!” she said with a laugh, trying to squirm away from me. She pushed on my chest to try to shove me away.
And for just a second, I let myself relish the fact that I was on top of her. On the couch. Just like I’d pictured countless times in my head. I could smell the scent of her floral shampoo. It swirled around me, drawing me closer. Her lips were only a few inches away from mine.
The front door clicked opened and I jumped off the couch. It was one thing to dream about kissing Penny. It was another to actually do it. Especially right in front of James. I could bench press more than him, but James had always been a good fighter. I wasn’t sure I’d win that fight.
But it wasn’t James coming through the front door.
“Uncle Matt! Uncle Matt!” Scarlett darted right past her mother and jumped into my arms.
“Hey, Scar.” I kissed the top of her head. “What have you been up to today?”
“Ellie took me and Liam to the zoo. And I got to watch the red pandas.”
She’d become obsessed with red pandas recently. I was pretty sure she liked that their fur was the same color as her hair.
“That sounds like fun. Did you get to feed any?”
Her jaw actually dropped. “I can feed them? I didn’t know that was allowed! Ellie, can I feed them next time?”
I glanced into the foyer to see Ellen lifting baby Liam out of the stroller. She was the most patient person I’d ever met. She didn’t even care that Scarlett called her Ellie instead of Ellen. She walked into the living room with Liam in her arms. And she shook her head at me, giving me a pointed glare. “Only Uncle Matt is allowed to feed them. Next time you go with him, he’ll let you.”
Oh shit. Ellen could dish it out too.
“Really?” Scarlett looked up at me with her big doe eyes.
“Sure.” I’d figure it out. Anything for her. I looked over at Penny. Anything for her too.
“You’re ridiculous,” Penny mouthed silently as she took Liam from Ellen.
Scarlett gave me a big hug and then turned to her mother. She stood up on the couch and looked down at her baby brother. “He was a good boy today. He didn’t cry and scare the animals like last time.”
“Is that so?” Penny tickled Scarlett’s side.
“Scarlett,” said Ellen. ”Let’s go get you a bath before your daddy comes home.”
“Okay. Uncle Matt, tell my Mommy when we can go to the zoo. I’m always free.” Scarlett jumped off the couch and started running toward the stairs.
She was so freaking cute.
Ellen took off after her.
I watched in silence as Penny stared down at her son. The son she almost lost. The miracle baby sitting in her lap. Liam started to whine. And it looked like Penny was about to cry again.
“Penny?”
She blinked fast and didn’t look up at me. “Yes?” Liam started to really cry now. “Shh, baby boy.”
“Are you okay?”
She laughed, but it sounded forced. “I’m fine.”
Fine. Women’s universal word for not okay, as far as I could tell. “You know you can talk to me.”
“Hm?” She finally looked back up at me. She shook her head like she’d been lost in a trance.
I pulled Liam out of her arms and cradled him in mine. Liam immediately quieted down in my arms. “I can tell when something is bothering you, Penny.”
She pulled her eyebrows together in an adorable frown. “I can tell when something is bothering you too.”
“A standoff, huh?” I looked down at Liam. He looked just like James. A head of dark hair and a rather serious face. But he had blue eyes like his mother. I used to want kids. And this was the closest I would ever get. This should have been my life.
“I always wanted kids,” I said, breaking the awkward silence. “Four of them. I don’t really know why.” But I did. Because my brother and I were practically raised with the Hunter brothers. The four of us against the world. The Untouchables. Before everything broke.
“You’re going to be a great dad,” Penny said. She didn’t look comforted by my words at all. Instead, she looked even more upset.
But I didn’t get a chance to ask her why. Because James walked in the front door. Penny plastered a fake smile on her face. I could tell. I’d been wearing one for half my life.