“Fuck James.”
“That is so far from the answer that I expected. Fuck James? Seriously? How could you even say that? You’re one of his best friends. And I’m not here to listen to you hurl insults at my husband. Don’t you see that insulting him is essentially insulting me?” She shook her head. “That doesn’t matter. Insult me all you want. I’m here because I love James and he’s upset because of you. I’m here to try to help fix whatever the hell is going on between you two. He cares about you and I thought you cared about him.”
“He doesn’t care about me. He doesn’t care about anyone but himself.”
“Excuse me?” She pushed her stool away from the counter and stood up. “James is right. I don’t know how I didn’t see it before. You are trying to ruin his life. You’re trying to turn me against him. And for what purpose? We’re not pawns in some stupid game you’re playing. This is my life. James’ life. We’re two of your best friends. I had your back. I told James that he was wrong. I tried to stand up for you and I came here to try to help mend whatever is broken between you. But you don’t even care. So you know what?” She stood up a little taller. “Fuck you.”
I’d never heard her curse before. I’d never seen her as upset as she was right now. I should have just apologized. But instead, it was easier to throw more insults. “I’m not the one making you sad all the fucking time. You showed up at my doorstep wiping tears off your cheeks. Because of him. And don’t act like it’s the first time you came crawling to me when you want to escape from him.”
She opened her mouth. And then closed it again. She started blinking fast like she’d done the other day before she’d run off without explanation. “I’m not depressed because of James.”
I just stared at her. I never said anything about depression. Was she actually depressed? I just thought she was a little…sad. Her words made my stomach twist into knots.
She closed her eyes like it pained her to say her next words to me. “James is the love of my life. He’s my whole world. He’s given me everything. A life I never even dreamed of. I love him so much that it hurts. I love his friends like they’re my own family. And it hurts that I can’t give him anything in return. And I just wanted to fix what’s going on between you because I can’t fix me.”
What was she talking about? There wasn’t anything about her that needed to be fixed. She was beautiful and smart and funny. I stared at her as her eyes locked with mine again. She was perfect exactly the way she was. “There’s nothing wrong with you.”
She wrapped her arms around her stomach liked she was afraid she was falling to pieces. “I’m not here to talk about me.” She took a deep breath. “I don’t have any siblings. But all of you guys? You’re like the brothers I never had.”
Ouch. I’d been worse than friend zoned. I’d been brotherized.
“And I know James thinks of you and Mason as brothers just as much as Rob. And until about ten minutes ago, I thought you considered him to be family too. I don’t know what’s going on between you. But I need you to fix it. If you care about him at all. Please, Matt. He can’t handle any more stress. And I can’t lose him. I don’t know what I would do if I ever lost him.”
She’d mope around searching for ghosts on the city sidewalks. Just like I did with Brooklyn. Forever stuck. I pressed my lips together. There was no way to work around what she just said. She definitely did not reciprocate my feelings. This wasn’t how it was supposed to go. I was supposed to kiss her and she was supposed to tell me how unhappy she was in her marriage. I was supposed to save her. My heart ached. I’d just wanted to save her. I sat down on one of the stools. Because I couldn’t save Brooklyn. I just wanted to save Brooklyn.
“Matt?”
I looked up at Penny. I was so tired of hurting everyone around me because I was so fucked up in the head. “I’ll call him, okay?”
She nodded. “Thank you.”
“I’m sorry, Penny. About not telling you guys about Scarlett sooner. About stressing James out.”
“Are you going to tell me what all this is about? How did you get tied up with Isabella’s father? Do you owe him money or something? Because I can…”
“I don’t owe him money. The only thing that matters now is keeping Scarlett safe. And I think I have a way to do that. But I’m going to need one of James’ prototype cameras.” That was probably the worst segue ever. But I had to ask her before she walked out the door.
“The prototypes are at Hunter Tech headquarters. Why don’t you just ask Rob? It’s easier for him to grab them.”
Rob. Of course. Why hadn’t I thought of that? I could have avoided this whole thing. Well, not really. I’d made a mess of everything last night. And it was just like Penny to come try to pick up all the pieces. “Good idea.”
“You really think you’ll be able to get out of this alone?” asked Penny. “Because you don’t have to. It’s my daughter’s life that’s on the line. I want to help. I need to help. If you would just talk to me.”
“Tanner’s actually helping me.”
“Oh. Well, that’s good, I guess. He’s a really nice guy.”
“Mhm.” I stared at her.
She just stared back, waiting for me to tell her how I’d gotten into this mess. Or what my problem was with James. Or maybe to talk about how nice of a guy Tanner was. Or something. Anything. But I didn’t want to drag her into this.
“I should probably go,” she said. “James is expecting me home for dinner. I told him our plans were canceled, even though I never told you.”
I gave her a half-hearted smile.
“Call him soon, okay?” Before she could even turn around to leave, the sound of my front door opening made us both freeze.
But it didn’t take me long to get moving. I grabbed Penny’s hand and pulled her behind the kitchen island.
“What’s going…”
I put my hand over her mouth to silence her. “Don’t say a word,” I whispered.
Penny looked terrified, but she nodded.
I didn’t know what was going on, but it couldn’t be good. No one had keys to my place. Whoever had just come in hadn’t come in with good motives. It was like I could hear the seconds of my life ticking down in my head. I’d purposely upset Mr. Pruitt. I’d provoked him into action. And I’d even come to my house despite Tanner warning me not to. I had no one to blame but myself.
But instead of freaking out, all I could do was stare at the woman kneeling beside me.
I relished the way her lips felt on the palm of my hand. Her looking at me like she was relying on me. And for just a second, I forgot all about the intruder. This would have been the perfect moment to kiss her. As the seconds ticked down. To show her how I felt. All I had to do was remove my hand.
Chapter 26
Tuesday
A tear trickled down Penny’s cheek, pulling me out of my daydream. She was terrified. Her thoughts were probably swirling with her love for her children and James. Not me.
I didn’t want James to be right about me. I didn’t want to ruin his life. Kissing Penny would be a mistake. And I was tired of making mistakes. I slowly lowered my hand from her mouth, knowing that was as close as I’d get to her lips kissing my skin. My crush on her was unrequited. But that didn’t mean I wouldn’t give my life to save her. She was still one of my closest friends. She was still able to make me smile when no one else seemed able to. I owed her for that. For making a few of the years after Brooklyn’s death bearable.