I tried to take a deep breath, but this time my lungs felt weird. I needed to calm down. I counted down slowly from ten again and again. The last thing I needed was for Poppy to witness me having a panic attack. She’d think I’d be easy to control in whatever game she was playing. But it would have been easier if she’d chosen a different fucking restaurant.
I took a deep breath, keeping my eyes trained on the sidewalk instead of letting my gaze wander to all the places that would remind me of Brooklyn. But I kept looking up. Like I was expecting to see Brooklyn’s smiling face on the path up ahead.
My feet froze on the little bridge I’d come to a million times. The corner of my mouth rose as I remembered getting down on one knee. Brooklyn had thought I was going to propose. I’d been able to tell by the expression on her face. She’d stared at me like she was excited but also like she thought I’d lost my mind. And I was pretty sure it was in that moment that I realized I wanted to marry her. That I couldn’t imagine my life without her.
And she’d laughed as I pulled a hotdog out from behind my back instead of a ring. That sealed the deal. The fact that she’d seemed just as delighted with a cheap hotdog as she would have with a ring. I stared out over the water.
And that’s when I saw her. I squinted at the woman with red hair coming out of the nearby restaurant. She was alone and looked upset. Most likely she had just set some other poor asshole on fire and was making a quick exit.
“Ash?” I called. It was definitely her. Although, she was better dressed than when we’d had our date.
She looked up and her eyes grew so round. A few people walked in front of her, blocking my view. I walked across the bridge and…she was gone. “Ash?” I turned in a circle. It was weird. When Kennedy had shown up, I had this gut feeling that she was supposed to be some kind of sign from Brooklyn. But what if I was wrong? What if Ash was the sign? Because she’d just shown up when I was thinking about Brooklyn.
I looked around once more. Or had Ash shown up? Because she’d literally disappeared. Had I just imagined that? Was I fucking losing my mind now? Probably. I had thought Jefferson’s mom was stalking me...
But then I heard a splash.
I looked at the water and sure enough…Ash’s head was bobbing on top of the surface.
“What the hell are you doing?” I hurried over to help her out of the water.
“Go away! Pretend you didn’t see me!” she yelled, flailing her arms in the water. “Imagine this isn’t happening right now! Please, I’m begging you.”
I couldn’t tell if she was drowning or just really upset. But I wasn’t going to walk away in case it was the prior. “Did you just throw yourself in the lake to avoid me?”
“No.” Her teeth chattered. “That would be crazy.”
Her point? “Let me help you.” I put my hand out.
“Please, Matt, just let me drown in my misery.”
“I’m not going anywhere until you’re out of that water.”
“I’m not actually drowning! I’m just swimming recreationally.” She continued to tread water. “See.”
“I don’t think you’re supposed to swim in there.”
“I know that.” She looked up at the sky like she was hoping a lightning bolt would come down and just end everything.
“Then what are you doing?” I asked.
“Fine! I admit it! I was trying to avoid you. So please walk away before either of us gets hurt.”
I laughed. “Let me help you out.”
She stared at me like she couldn’t believe I was still standing there. “You’re not going to do the gentlemanly thing and walk away because I asked you to?”
“No. I’m not.”
“Men.” She sighed so loudly that she scared a duck swimming by. It squawked angrily. “Fine. But only because I’m a little scared of birds. Only slightly. It’s not on my list or anything.” Ash swam over to me, avoiding the angry duck, and took my hand.
I pulled her out and her body collided against mine. She was wet from head to toe. She’d clearly dove headfirst in the lake just to avoid walking past me. And she was shivering.
But instead of letting me run my hands up and down her arms, she pulled back. “I am so so beyond sorry, Matt.”
“My dick is fine.”
“Yeah, that. But also…” she waved her hand in front of me.
I looked down. She’d gotten the front of my hoody all wet and…a little slimy. “It’s fine,” I said. “Seriously, why did you throw yourself into the lake to avoid me?”
“Oh, I don’t know.” She wrapped her arms around herself. “Maybe because I was half an hour late for our date, flashed you in the bathroom, and then set your dick on fire!”
People had been already staring at us as soon as I found her in the water. Now they weren’t even trying to pretend they weren’t staring.
“So that wasn’t a normal date for you?” I couldn’t help but laugh.
“God, you were supposed to just keep walking. Not find me and pull me out of the lake. Why would you even look in there? It was such a good hiding spot. I have to go.” She turned around.
I grabbed her hand. “It’s okay, Ash. Bad dates happen.”
“It wasn’t a bad date. It was mortifying.” She pulled her hand out of mine. “And in this huge city what are the odds that I’d run into you again? One in a million? Don’t answer that. And if you ever do see me again and then you suddenly don’t…just keep walking. Because it means I’m hiding to avoid you. So do the respectable thing and just keep walking. Because I can’t relive that date ever again. My best friend already tortures me enough about it. She called me inferno dick for a whole week. Inferno dick. Like I make a habit of setting people’s privates on fire. It happened one time! One time,” she yelled to one of the people watching us.
The guy that had been staring quickly walked away.
“See.” She pointed to the stranger. “People are literally terrified of me because of that nickname.” A drop of something green and slimy fell from her arm. “What is that?! I have to go to the doctor! No, I hate doctors. But what if I just contracted something in that dirty city water? Gah, I have to! What the hell is my life?!” She ran away before I could get another word in.
“Don’t jump in any more lakes because of me!” I yelled after her.
“Then don’t make eye contact with me ever again!” she yelled back before sprinting over the little bridge, leaving a trail of wet footprints behind her.
She really was adorable. And a little crazy. And definitely not a sign from Brooklyn. Besides, I didn’t feel drawn to her. Not the same way I felt drawn to Kennedy. I sighed. I was going to hell.
I turned to the restaurant. Even though Ash was crazy, I wished I was running in the opposite direction of this restaurant like her. Because at least she was nice crazy and not mean crazy like Poppy. I sighed and pushed through the doors of the venue Brooklyn and I had chosen for our wedding. Surely Mr. Pruitt had invited Poppy to the wedding. She knew what this place meant to me. And she was going to purposely shit all over it. Not that it mattered. I hadn’t come here since Brooklyn died.