I’m seeing stars, and it takes me a minute to come back to earth.
“Sorry. I think that was a lot. I’ve kind of been bottled up for the past week with you gone.”
She smirks. “You know, a great friend once told me you shouldn’t apologize for healthy biology.”
I throw my head back and laugh, zipping my jeans back up. “Sounds like this friend knows his shit.”
“You should meet him some time.”
“Sky.” I lean down. “I love being like this with you.”
“I love being crazy dirty with you, too. Only you.”
I kiss her forehead, her lips, her nose, and she giggles. When I pull back, we both sort of stare at each other.
I’ve never been the type of guy to throw these words around. From everything she’s told me, Sky isn’t either.
Love. Like this. Only you. Crazy dirty.
Our moment is interrupted when a nurse flings the door open and sees us standing there for our awkward moment.
“Oh, hey…” the man says. “I uh, just had an alert come in from this room. So I’m checking on that.”
“Everything’s fine,” Sky says.
“Hey, aren’t visiting hours over? Family only.”
I wink. “It’s okay. I’m her fiancé.”
“Oh. Well…congratulations,” he says, awkwardly, then looks at our fingers. “Where’s the ring?”
Phase 3
The Engagement
17
Skylar
“Wow. It’s just…that ring. It’s so…big,” Janice says.
Gripping my margarita, I hold my hand up, and the Florida sun makes the diamond sparkle.
Yes, our engagement might be fake. But the giant rock on my finger certainly isn’t.
I was opposed to it, but Luke insisted. We couldn’t get a fake because of Jennifer’s sniper eye when it comes to diamond rings.
And as Luke made clear, Ryan needs to think I’m as much of a ring-slut as Jennifer.
“I mean a big ring has never been super important to me…” I tell Janice. She’s my best friend and the one I feel the worst about lying to about this situation.
But I can’t put the burden of this ridiculously large secret onto her, too. This is mine and mine alone to bear.
Janice giggles. “Yeah, you’re more partial to big…other things.”
“Big hands?”
“Yes. Big hands. How did you know?” She cracks up, then sighs. “I don’t get it, though. Is Luke, like…rich?”
I clear my throat. I’m not sure how to answer that.
Judging by the ring you’d think he is loaded. But he’s not…well, yet.
Of course according to all the projections, he’s going to make a lot of money in professional baseball. But the truth is, he got this ring from a guy in the black market at a 75% discount. Yeah, he’s made some money, and he’ll make more if and when he signs a major league baseball contract, but he’s not loaded with family money…not like Ryan.
But that’s the impression I’m trying to convey to Ryan and Jennifer…that we’re kindred spirits.
It makes my blood turn a little that I can even play the role of a woman who is more obsessed with her ring than with her man. But hey, at least it’s for a good cause…right?
“Don’t you think you’re rushing into this, for the wrong reasons, maybe? I mean it was nice of him to pay for our tickets to Florida and all. I admit that your accident ironically brought out a sweet side of Luke most people on campus thought simply did not exist. But that doesn’t mean…” Janice trails off, watching a couple of tan-skinned, bikini clad blondes walking along the beach.
I cringe. She knows me too well, and I desperately want to tell her the whole truth of what’s going on.
It’s March, and luckily, this charade is only going to last through May, when we’ll stage the ‘divorce’ before spring term ends. But it’s much more than just a charade now. We started out so concerned that the faking it part would damage our friendship. Well, our friendship isn’t ‘damaged,’ but it’s hard to imagine Luke and I will just call it quits once the whole thing is over and go back to being just regular friends, shooting the shit, checking in once every few weeks to say ‘hi.’
Maybe that’s one of the reasons I’ve been hemming and hawing about having sex with him. Holding out on that is the last thread that makes our relationship within the relationship less than real.
“You’re quiet,” Janice comments.
“Just thinking about what you’re saying. Janice, let me just tell you this.” I lean in and touch her knee. “I’ve always been the down-to-earth one. I know what I’m doing.”
Translation: I have no freaking clue what I’m doing.
“What about the Peace Corps? How is that going to work? Are you two just going to plan to have a long-distance relationship for two years? That’s a huge commitment.”
“We haven’t thought that far ahead.”
“And you say you’re down to earth? You’re not just starry-eyed and in love?”
My heart skips a beat at that word.
Love.
As good of friends as we are, as much as we talk about…the idea of ‘love’ between us isn’t a topic we’re prepared to breach.
“Look, Janice. You’re my best friend. I do…have a love for Luke,” I stumble on the words, refusing to say outright that I love him.
“‘A’ love, is much different from, ‘love,’” Janice says. “It’s like you’re afraid to say what’s actually there. Can I be honest?” She pauses briefly, but not long enough for me to respond. “I’m a little worried about you making what is supposed to be a lifelong commitment the way you’re acting right now. I think you might be rushing into something. I’ve never seen you like this.”
I take off my sunglasses and look Janice in the eye. We’ve had long talks about our separate issues, one of mine being that I don’t say “I love you” to any man in my life. Never felt it for my stepdad. Never knew my dad enough to say it. And I never was able to say it to either AJ or Federico. Not that either of them deserved it.
“That’s…not the point. This is just something Luke and I have to do, that we want to do. It will make sense some time in the future. You’re my best friend, and I greatly appreciate your concern. But for now, please don’t worry about me.”
God, I feel shitty lying to Janice. She’s really trying to give me heartfelt advice…yet it’s based on a false premise.
She furrows her brow. “’Have to do?’ That doesn’t sound very fun. Did you two have a kid or something?”
“No! Definitely not. We haven’t even had sex yet!” My mouth hangs open. Whoops.
“You’re signing up for a permanent husband and you don’t know what he’s like between the sheets yet?! Ay caramba, Sky.”
“We have a ton of chemistry. I’m not worried about that.”