When he comes back up, the smell of fresh, hot pizza fills the air.
This man is a mind reader.
“How did you know I was hungry?” I ask. “And when did you even order that?!”
“Just a hunch. I ordered it with the app. You don’t mind if I stick around for a while, do you?”
“Course not,” I say as he puts a couple of pieces onto a plate and gives it to me.
“Want to watch Rick and Morty?” he asks, licking some tomato sauce from his fork. “We’ve got to rewatch it so we’re ready for when the new season comes out.”
I scoot over on my bed to make room for Luke, and he pops on my Hulu so we can start watching.
He’s about to press play when I put my hand over his. “Wait. You don’t want to like…talk about today?”
He shrugs. “What’s to talk about? It was hot as hell. We should do it again. Right?”
Butterflies shoot around in my stomach. “I mean, yes, but…what about the breakup part of Operation Romper? We still haven’t really addressed that.”
After finishing a small piece of pizza, he clears his throat. “Well, that’s getting ahead of ourselves. The next thing we should really start thinking about is how to have a convincing marriage ceremony.”
I swallow down a delicious piece of sausage pizza. “Right. I don’t know…I just feel like there’s more we should be talking about.”
He wraps his arm around me. “Everything’s going to be fine, Sky. We’ll take things as they come.”
He leans over and kisses me. “Sky, you fucking rock. Have I ever told you that?” He whispers in my ear, “I can’t wait to make you come like that again.”
What I don’t tell Luke is that the most dangerous part of this whole thing might not be the lies we’re telling the outside world, but the lies we’re telling ourselves.
Like how we can be going through this whole thing and not truly fall for each other?
But he pulls me in and kisses me on the cheek again, and I let that worry fade away as I fall asleep to Rick and Morty on Luke’s chest.
20
Luke
One evening after baseball practice, I sit in the cafeteria at a table while I wait for Skylar to join me. She’s up at the counter having her omelet made by the chef.
I’ve sensed a changing energy in our relationship over the past few days. I don’t know if it’s to do with the fact that we’ve become one of the most gossiped about items on campus now that the cat is fully out of the bag.
Or, possibly, the fact that we have the most mind-blowing sex of all time.
But back to the gossip. An engagement on a smallish college campus is a big deal. And then after one of Jennifer’s friends was over when Skylar and I were together, the word got out about our, ahem, noisy sessions.
I blame Sky for that. Not like I really care though. My God, after she came over to my place in a trench coat last week, well, it was like we went up another level with our sexual ‘do everything we can while we’re young’ phase.
Ugh. I cringe at that word. Phase.
Is that really what Sky and I are going to amount to when everything is said and done? Just a phase?
Personally, I wonder if that’s the energy shift I’m noting. We’re both starting to process the reality that this whole arrangement—which now includes mind-blowing, often twice-a-day sex—has an expiration date. At some point very soon, we’re going to have to do the fake wedding and the fake break up and finish off Operation Romper.
But an even bigger deal is what happens between the two of us, after that.
We’re going to have to say goodbye. Maybe forever.
Sky already knows what she wants to do. She’s talked about the Peace Corps since the day I first met her. And I could get drafted by any team come June and end up in any major city in the U.S. this coming year.
But the reality of our expiration date doesn’t seem to slow us down, at least in the playdate sense.
Every day now is a rush with Sky. Maybe it’s because we both feel the clock closing in on our time together. It’s like we’re speeding up hand-in-hand toward a concrete wall.
When Skylar sits down across from me, she has that slightly devious smile I’ve come to know is signaling something.
“What’s up?” I ask.
From her expression, I can already tell she knows I know. “I don’t want to freak you out.”
“Don’t worry. You will.” Her face reddens, and I add, “What is it?”
“I made something.” Reaching into her backpack, she pulls out a piece of paper.
“Uh oh. Did you list out your grievances for when we’re actually married?”
She giggles. “Well…kinda. I mean they’re not grievances. But they are…ideas. In my class with Professor Hanks, we did this thing where we made a list of all the sexual activities we’re comfortable with.”
“Oh yeah. The list I meant to read the other day?”
I reach to snatch the list, but she pulls it away from me.
“Nah ah ah,” she says. “You have to make your list first. Once you have, we’ll see what matches up on them, and where we intersect.”
“What if my list says, ‘definitely into Sky dressing up as furry animals,’ and yours says ‘I’ll do anything but furry animals?’” I grin.
“You’re right, and that’s what Professor Hanks emphasized—there’s going to be a degree of vulnerability going into this activity. We’re both risking being judged. But you know what? I’d never judge you.” Her grin turns borderline naughty. She leans in and whispers, “Daddy.”
My eyes widen. Before Sky, I never imagined I could ever get into the whole Daddy role playing fantasy. It seemed odd to me. And now we’re doing it. But it’s not about the specifics of the fantasy. It’s that with Sky, we have such a strong base of real friendship that it’s easy to add sexual activities on top of that once we’ve discovered this attraction is here.
I don’t think it’s about any fantasy in particular with Sky. It’s just the fact that I’m doing them with her.
I swallow. “Sky, I’ll write out a list if you think it will be fun. You know I’m down to try whatever that pretty little head comes up with. I just wonder if you know how dirty my mind can get. I’m probably going to scare the shit out of you.”
“You scare the shit out of me? I bet you your list won’t be dirtier than mine.”
“Oh, it’s a competition now, is it?” I joke, then shovel a big bite of egg from my omelet into my mouth.
She pats my forearm. “Oh, trust me Lucas, you have no idea the things I think about. They would scare you. It’s just, the more I think about this second semester and what I’ve gotten myself into, I figure, ‘why not try all these things with you?’ What have we got to lose, you know? We’re so comfortable together. And…being totally honest, I kind of have this feeling like I’ve missed out on something lately, first by being in a shitty relationship where I felt used, and then by being in a long-distance relationship for so long without any actual physical contact. Not that I’m in a rush to have experiences, but…maybe now is a time we can really enjoy ourselves. Stop me if I’m being totally crazy. But even after just a couple of times with you, I realize how uncomfortable things really were when I was with Federico.” She blushes, and her eyes flicker with excitement. “I trust you, Luke. A lot.”