My response is to moan and dig my fingernails into his back, hard.
I can feel myself digging so hard I draw blood.
He growls and takes his hand off of my neck and puts it down beside me.
“Fuck, Sky. That’s how you want to play it?” he says through gritted teeth. “Look at me.”
“Keep your hand there,” I say, guiding him back to my neck. “I like it like this.”
“I know you do,” he grits out.
Our eyes link together and he goes feral.
Some twinkle behind them makes me think Luke may have left the building. The last trace of niceness and civility disappear as he grabs me and pounds into me.
“Use me,” I sing as he growls—like a fucking tiger or some wild animal—in my ear.
I think he’s speaking in tongues. I can’t make out a word of the low, gravelly noises coming out of him. He’s a Viking, he’s a caveman, he’s still somehow just my friend Luke all at the same time.
Heat explodes in my body again. I can barely breath as another orgasm rips through me. Everything about this moment is too right.
“Who’s your daddy, Sky?” Luke growls out, and that’s how I know he’s as gone as I am.
“You are, Luke.”
He yells—yells—and if anyone was in the house who didn’t know what we were doing in here, they do now.
His hand smacks the side of my ass, causing me to whimper.
He licks my body from my shoulder all the way up to my ear, then kisses me like I’m his little playdoll.
Every time he thrusts into me feels like an earthquake.
Finally, he pulls out, rips the condom off and pumps his cock. After a few moments he comes for an amazingly long time, and the hot liquid pools on my stomach.
For a few moments, only us, all out of breath, can be heard.
“Wait here,” he says. He gets off the bed, and heads outside.
I hear a shriek from a voice I recognize as Jennifer’s, followed by Luke’s saying, “You kidding me? I’m not going to apologize for that.”
Once he’s back into the room, he closes the door behind him, then kneels next to me and towels off my stomach.
“You came a lot,” I observe.
“I know,” he chuckles. “So did you.”
“That was amazing,” I say.
“I know.”
He finishes toweling me off, towels himself, then tosses it on the floor and lays next to me.
I turn on my side and lay my head on his chest, still sweaty and hot.
“We’re going to be doing that a lot,” I say, listening to his heart beat rapidly.
“I know.”
I giggle. “Is that all you can say right now? ‘I know’?”
He threads a hand through my hair. “I don’t have to say anything more when we’re on the same page.” After a moment, he adds, “Jennifer saw me naked when I went to the bathroom. They must have just gotten back.”
I smile and turn my head so my chin is on his chest.
“I know,” I say, throwing his own little phrase back at him and grinning mischievously.
He wraps his arms around me and pulls me in tighter to him, if that’s possible.
“Holy shit, Sky. I mean I don’t even have to say it, I think we both felt it. But you just blew my mind.”
“You blew mine too.”
I roll over onto my back and create a little separation between us.
We look at each other and just kind of shake our heads and shrug in a what the fuck just happened way.
I don’t know what we’re getting into, and though I’m not a virgin, I’m not the most experienced woman in terms of sexual relationships. So I don’t have much reference. Aside from Federico and two other guys from freshman and sophomore year I slept with.
But this didn’t feel like some old ‘friends with benefits’ ambivalent maintenance sex hookup.
This felt like fireworks going off.
A volcanic explosion.
The connection of two lost souls in the middle of a dark night.
From the look on Luke’s face, it’s possible he feels the same way.
Luke stares up at the ceiling for a few moments and then looks at me, tipping my chin toward him.
He opens his mouth as if to say something, closes it, then pulls me in for a kiss.
My insides burn again as he slides his hand down the skin of my side. I look at the sparkling ring on my finger. I’ve been playing this role so well for the past few months. So well, that I’m starting to lose track of my own identity, which scares me.
As I lay staring up at the ceiling, I can’t help but think:
I’ve never trusted a man I’ve been so attracted to in my life. Will I ever have something like this again?
I wonder how far I could go with him.
What am I getting myself, and my heart, into?
19
Skylar
My roommate freshman year, who was dating a senior at the time, used to come back from her boyfriend’s house in such a good mood. I don’t think I officially realized the full extent of the ‘post-sex glow’ she constantly had until today, when I’m at dinner with Janice and she tells me how good of a mood I seem to be in.
I float the possibility of endorphins swimming around in my system.
“Yes, post sex glow is a thing!” Janice comments, scrolling through her phone. “Cosmo says so.”
“Well in that case, it’s definitely true. What does it say are the effects?”
“Dewy skin, clear eyes, bigger boobs, fuller lips. And rosier cheeks, of course. But that could just be from the wind outside.”
I scoop a chip with a massive amount of guacamole into my mouth.
“My appetite is definitely a little above average, too.”
“When I was hooking up with Prescott last term, I swear my hair had more volume the next morning after. And I craved ice cream. Lots of ice cream,” Rachel says, then squints. “You two are really something doing it right after class but before Luke has to go to practice. You’re so efficient. Did you do it at his place or yours?”
My stomach flutters. “Actually, we did it in a vacant classroom after our fifth period seminar class.”
Janice drops her fork to her plate, her eyes widening. “You weren’t afraid you’d get caught?”
I shrug, fingering my engagement ring nervously. “Honestly, in the moment, no.”
“Gosh. It’s just so hard to believe you’re…really getting married. You don’t think this is rushed?”
“Not rushed.” I nod, then take another huge bite of guac so I don’t have to go into detail.
“So whose idea was it to be official? Are you pushing for this or him?”
I avert my eyes from Rachel and clear my throat. “It was, uh, mutual, I guess.”
“Mutual? Man, he just has never seemed like the type to settle into something serious. I know you two had that connection from being abroad together and all. But…be careful. That’s all I’m saying.”
“I’m going to grab some chocolate milk. Be right back.”
I’m not in the mood to get deeper into the details right now.
Though tonight, Luke and I are also supposed to compare our lists and then make one big list out of them.