I opened the door, and it was even crazier outside than it had been before. Choppers were flying overhead. There were double the amount of camera crews. Neighbors had gathered on the nearest lawn to watch.
I paused in the entryway, speaking under the blanket, “Pearl, I need you to breathe for me. The noises are going to be much louder than you’re used to, but within three breaths, I’m going to have you in the ambulance.”
She crouched closer to my body.
“Take your first one”—I made it onto the first step—“right now.”
Questions were being shouted, and there was a hum from all the murmuring. I tried to block her from most of it with the blanket, hurrying down the rest of the steps and down the walkway and driveway to where the ambulance was parked in front. The moment I reached the back, the double doors were flung open, and I set her on the gurney inside.
“I’m right here,” I told her, holding her foot from the sidewalk while the paramedics climbed in, beginning their routine.
Wires were hooked onto her chest, an IV was inserted into her arm, a stethoscope was moving up and down her back.
“She’s stable,” a medic said. “Let’s roll out.”
Another paramedic climbed out next to me and said, “We’re taking her to Mass General.”
I placed my foot on the step, gripping the handle on the door. “You’re taking me too.”
She waited for me to get in before shutting the doors and pulling away from the curb.
While the other paramedic worked on her, I sat on the opposite side, taking Pearl’s fingers into my hand. “Are you doing all right?”
Her arm was resting across her eyes, most of her face hidden, her knees tucked into her chest. “I don’t know,” she whispered. “This is … so much.”
I ran my thumb across the back of her palm and over her knuckles. “We’ll be at the hospital soon, and they’ll give you something to calm you.”
Goddamn it.
I wanted to run the tests and review the results and determine what she needed.
I wanted to heal her.
But my medical background was a lifetime ago.
A few months shy of eleven years.
Now, all I could do was hold her hand and stay by her side and help her try to forget.
If she even wanted me to.
I glanced down at her fingers, skin that was dirty, nails that were broken. I was sure her hair hadn’t been cut since she’d been kidnapped. She certainly hadn’t been properly fed. I hoped there wasn’t anything too serious going on internally, but at her current weight, I feared her numbers were terrifying.
That was only half of it.
Inside her head, things were probably far worse.
I pulled her hand up to my face, breathing into it so she could feel my warmth, listening to her breaths as we rode in silence the rest of the way to the hospital.
A team of doctors and nurses rushed toward the doors the minute we were parked, lifting the gurney out of the back, ripping my hand from Pearl’s.
“I’m sorry,” one of the nurses said once we got in the hospital, her fingers pressing the center of my chest, stopping me from following them through the double doors. “Only medical staff is allowed beyond this point.”
I could see the top of Pearl’s head as they rushed her down the hallway, and I didn’t take my eyes off her, trying to move past the nurse to get in. “I need to be with her.”
“You will be once they’re done with the examination.”
“You don’t understand what she’s been through.” My jaw tightened, clenching. “She needs me.”
“Detective …” She shook the spot she was holding, trying to gain my attention. “Detective!” When I finally looked at her, she continued, “There are no exceptions. I’ll come and get you once they’re done.” She nodded toward the row of benches behind me. “Make yourself comfortable; it’s going to be a little bit.”
“Pearl,” I shouted before the doors closed, making sure she heard me, “I’m not leaving you. I’m right here!”
I continued following the darkness of her hair until they turned the corner, and she was gone. I then backed up several steps, the nurse’s hand dropping from me.
“Hey …”
I found her eyes again.
“We’re going to take good care of her. Don’t you worry.”
“How’s she doing?” the captain asked as I stood with her in the doorway of Pearl’s hospital room, my eyes fixed on the bed, watching Pearl sleep soundlessly.
I kept my voice low, looking for any signs of movement. I didn’t want her to open her eyes and not be sitting in the chair next to her. “The few times she’s been awake, she hasn’t said much. But she’s medicated and calm; I guess that’s all I can ask for at this point.”
The IV attached to her hand was giving her fluids that she desperately needed. The cocktail of other meds was helping her numbers rise. Her lack of weight, vitamins, and nutrition had wreaked havoc on her organs, causing them to work overtime. Her kidneys and heart needed improvement, and her blood cell counts were terribly low. Within time, she would make a complete turnaround—physically.
Mentally, there was so much to be determined.
“How are you?”
I shrugged. “Doesn’t matter.”
Her hand went to my arm, and my stare slowly left Pearl to glance at the captain as she said, “Your health most certainly matters right now. First you lost your friend Dylan and now this.”
I couldn’t talk about Dylan.
I couldn’t even put my brain there right now.
“I just want her to be all right—whatever that means and whatever that looks like. Once I have an idea, I’ll be doing much better.”
She took her hand back and crossed her arms. “I checked Daniels’s file.” She paused, her stance shifting. “Her case was before my time at the department, but I’ve heard of Detective O’Connell. He’s been retired for quite a while.”
“He was gone a week after I started working. He was a useless motherfucker. Lazy, uninterested. He didn’t care enough.”
“I saw your notes—every call that you made, every angle you pursued. Even up until a few weeks ago, you continued to search for her.” Her gaze moved between my right eye and left. “Is Pearl the reason you joined the force?”
I checked on Pearl again. She hadn’t even stirred.
“Mostly,” I sighed, leaning into the doorframe. “I was in med school, miserable, missing home, missing her.” I hated putting my brain back there, the pain so immense that it hurt to even think about. “I knew I could do a better job than O’Connell. I just needed the resources. The department opened up those gates.”
There wasn’t a smile, but a look of understanding was on her face. “And we’re lucky sons of bitches to have you. Take all the time off you need, Flynn. You’ve certainly earned it with everything you’ve been through.” She nodded toward Pearl. “You also have a lot of work ahead of you.” I was stepping back inside Pearl’s room when the captain added, “I hope once things relax a bit, we’re not going to lose you?”