He squeezed her hand and spoke the only words that mattered. “Ye must realize by now that ye’re more to me than a mere employer.” The truth might end things between them sooner than he would have liked. But if it didn’t – if she stayed with him and faced what they were becoming instead of running away – it might give her the courage to open up and be completely honest. “I want ye to forget the agreement we made and the money ye offered to pay me.”
“But—”
“No, just listen. This is no longer a job to me, lass. It’s a hell of a lot more. And right now, seeing ye like this is killing me inside. Do ye understand what I’m saying?”
“I think so.”
“Right.” He held her gaze a while longer, then carefully retrieved the Cunningham book from between her fingers. No sense in pressing her further. “I’ll purchase this along with the other two books, then we’ll find a hackney so ye can go home.”
“I’d like to stop by Temple Gardens first,” Charlotte said when Blayne gave the driver instructions a short while later. The small park was on their way but more importantly, it was never very crowded. “It’s a warm day. Perfect for a walk if you’re able to spare the time.”
“Of course I can,” he said as he handed her up.
Swallowing, Charlotte lowered herself to the forward facing bench. Daisy climbed in immediately after and sat down beside her while Blayne chose the opposite seat. His steady gaze never left Charlotte’s. It stayed on her for the duration of the ride, reminding her of his friendship and support, as well as the so much more that still filled her heart to overflowing.
He mattered to her as well, but she wasn’t sure she was ready to face the extent of her feelings for him just yet. Besides, there were other things for them to discuss. Something of greater importance right now than the recent shift in their relationship.
The carriage slowed and came to a halt. Charlotte waited until Blayne had stepped down before she turned to Daisy. “I wish to speak with him alone. Can you wait for us here, please?”
“Are you sure this is wise, miss?”
“No. Not in the least.”
Daisy smiled at her with quiet understanding. “He’s a good man. I know it’s not my place to say this, miss, but maybe you should reconsider what you want.”
“You think I should try for a future with him?”
“All I know is that he makes you happy.”
But would that be enough for her to alter her course? For years, she’d wanted to realize her dream of owning a writer’s retreat and of living a life devoid of a husband’s command. Independence was her goal. Could she truly consider giving that up for a man she’d known only one month? A man who’d told her that very morning he didn’t want marriage either?
She wasn’t the least bit sure, but the conversation she was about to have with him would hopefully offer some guidance. So without saying anything further, she accepted his hand and climbed down onto the pavement. He offered his arm and she took it. The park was almost deserted save for a small group of people strolling along at the opposite side. Charlotte tried to gather her thoughts. She wasn’t sure how to tell Blayne what he wanted to know and her jittery nerves weren’t helping.
“What’s yer greatest concern?” he asked when they’d walked for a while in silence.
“That you won’t approve of what I’m about to tell you.”
“I’m flattered, lass.”
Surprised, she glanced at him and caught him giving her a playful smile. “You are?”
He drew her closer to his side and stopped as if to point out some flowers. Instead, he leaned in and spoke in a low drawl. “It must mean ye care for my opinion – perhaps a wee bit for me as well.” He chuckled low. “A man can only hope.”
His voice alone was enough to melt her bones. Add to that his masculine scent and the feel of his breath breezing over her skin with each word he spoke, and it became a struggle to form coherent thoughts. Her heart raced.
“Of course I care for you,” she whispered. “I could never kiss you as I’ve done and not feel anything.”
He was silent a moment before he said, “Ye mustnae trouble yerself, lass. There’s nothing ye can tell me that would make me think any less of ye. Not when ye’ve been able to accept the things I’ve done without shying away.”
She resumed walking and he fell into step beside her. “I don’t write observational train of thought musings.”
“I ken.” When she met his gaze with surprise he said, “Figured that out almost right away. Ye’re much too interesting not to write something more creative in nature.”
“Oh.” She blushed in response to the compliment “Thank you.”
“And then of course, Miss Carlisle did mention yer missing manuscript when we went to check on the theft. So if I were to guess, I’d say ye’re a novelist.”
Charlotte’s stomach started spinning like an out of control top. “Your deductive skills are admirable.”
He grinned. “I’ve had enough time to observe ye and draw conclusions based on various things ye’ve said as well as reactions ye’ve had. I also have an inkling of who ye might be based on what happened in that bookshop today, but I cannae be completely sure until ye tell me.”
“Not even Daisy knows. She’s aware I’ve written a couple of novels, but I’ve never told her what they’re about or that I’m published under a different name. I’m sure she believes I’m quite unsuccessful.”
“But ye’re not. Are ye, lass?”
“No.” She dipped her head, avoiding the intensity of his gaze while taking courage. “I’m not just Charlotte Russell. I’m also Charles Cunningham, author of The Earl’s Secret Escapades and—.”
His arm swept around her, pulling her into a fierce embrace. She gasped, and then his mouth captured hers in the sort of kiss that would make a courtesan blush. It was deep and rough, executed with a plundering possessiveness that made her wish, if only for a brief moment, that they could have a future together.
But to wish for that would be as unrealistic as the stories she wrote. They came from two different worlds and even if that weren’t enough, he’d told her he didn’t want marriage. And neither did she. Or so she kept telling herself. But the truth was it was getting increasingly easy for her to envision Blayne in a far more permanent role than the one he currently held. Pure stupidity on her part. They had a working relationship as employer and employee, which now involved an intimate sort of friendship.
Eventually it would end. It would have to. And she would walk away knowing what it was like to feel desired. There would be no regrets, only wonderful memories to look back on.
A bird chirped, reminding Charlotte of where they were. She pulled away and pressed her hand to her mouth. “Heavens. What if someone saw us?”
They were in a public park and that kiss… Good lord, it hadn’t merely been scandalous it had been ruinous. She glanced around, frantically searching for possible witnesses.
Blayne brushed his thumb along the side of her jaw. “The other people who were here left a few moments ago while ye were talking. There’s no one here besides us.”