“No.” I vigorously shake my head. “It started out as a setup, but what I felt for you was real. I told you that. I told you, no matter what happened, to believe it was real.”
“And then you told me a few weeks ago that you lied! You can’t turn around now and say you meant it all along!”
“I was devastated, Viv.” I hop up, grab my beer, and throw it at the side of the house as frustration does a number on me. I’m so pissed at myself for fucking everything up. It hits with a sharp thud, smashing into pieces, spraying beer over my cream-colored stone patio. “I loved you, and you left me for him.” She might as well have taken an ax to my heart, because she left me a broken, shattered mess and I still haven’t recovered.
Her hands are trembling as she puts her sunglasses back on. “There is no point rehashing old shit. I can’t do this now. I won’t do it.” Ignoring me, she turns to face Ash. “How do we silence Aoife?”
And just like that, I’ve been relegated to the sidelines again.
“Dillon took care of it years ago,” Ash explains, squeezing Viv’s hand. “We thought he was stupid at the time, but it seems he was smarter than any of us gave him credit for.”
I’m too angry and strung out to appreciate my sister’s half-assed compliment.
“Took care of it how?” Viv asks, still ignoring me.
Grabbing another beer from the tray, I sit back down, staring neutrally at Audrey as she glares at me. “I gave her a hundred grand in exchange for signing an NDA,” I explain, eyeballing Viv, even if she’s not looking directly at me. “If she speaks out, she’s breaking the terms, risking prosecution and a large financial penalty. No matter how vindictive she might be, she won’t say anything. None of them will. I got everyone to sign it. All the groupies. Cat. That dickhead she was going out with and your other friends from Trinners.” I smirk as I bring my beer to my lips. “At least that asshole’s money came in handy.”
“Why would you do that?” Audrey asks, staring at me like I’m a puzzle she needs to figure out.
“I didn’t want anyone spouting shit about me to the press.”
“You mean you didn’t want anyone ruining your little revenge plan,” Viv says. “If Aoife or any of the others had mentioned anything about me, you would’ve tipped Reeve off, but you wanted to wait to time that revelation when it would cause maximum exposure.”
She’s not entirely wrong, but that wasn’t the main reason. “Simon’s NDA was watertight. I was not to mention anything about Reeve or you or any children you may have. That’s why I did it.”
“Yet you had no qualms about coming forward after Simon’s death,” Audrey says.
I laugh. “It’s not like he’s going to arise from the dead and slap me with a lawsuit for breaching the terms, is it?”
“His estate could still come after you,” she retorts, irritating me with her smug superiority.
“You think my son is going to sue me?” I snap.
“I could,” Vivien says, slamming her empty glass down, almost shattering it. “But you knew I wouldn’t. You knew Reeve wouldn’t. You waited until the villain was dead before assuming his mantle.”
I say nothing because I can’t defend myself. While Simon was alive, my hands were tied. I knew the only way I could exact revenge was to manipulate the media into breaking the news, in a way that couldn’t be linked back to me, or to wait for the bastard to kick the bucket. I had been working on Plan A when Plan B happened, but I will take that secret to my grave.
“Have your PR person draw up a press release and a contract,” Vivien says, speaking to Ash. “Send it to me and copy Edwin on it. I want the details of what’s to be said at the interview listed in bullet points and a commitment from Dillon that he will not deviate from the agenda.”
“I won’t say anything that will hurt you or Easton.” I offer her what I hope is a sincere expression. “I will deflect the attention off you. I promise. I’ll make it about Simon and the poor little abandoned Irish boy he gave away. I’ll ensure the focus is all on me.”
“Make sure you do.” She grabs her bag, ready to leave.
“When can I see him?” I blurt.
Ash rolls her eyes and shakes her head. Audrey glares at me again, and Viv stares at me as if she’s looking through me. “When he’s ready.”
“Can you give me a ballpark idea of when? I’m going out of my mind here, and we’re leaving on a US tour in seven months. I—”
“Don’t pressure me, Dillon,” she snaps, cutting me off midsentence. “And there is no timeline for this situation. God, it’s like you’ve never been around children. Like you don’t have nieces and nephews.”
Shit. She’s right, and I know I’m being unfair. I’m just so desperate to spend time with my child, and believe it or not, I know I can help. I can help them if she’ll just let me in. Even a little bit.
“Easton is going through a rough time, and I won’t do anything to upset him. He’s not ready to meet you yet. I will contact you when the time is right. Until then, stop fucking harassing me.” She stalks off with Audrey, and Ash races after them.
I’m too heartsore to follow so I sit back down, sulking as I drink my beer.
“Dillon. What the hell?” Ash says, storming toward me a few minutes later. “How can someone so talented and so smart be so fucking dumb at the same time?”
“You’ll have to enlighten me because I’ve no idea what you’re talking about,” I truthfully reply.
She sighs, kicking off her heels and rolling up the legs of her trousers. Carefully, she maneuvers down at the edge of the pool, dipping her feet and lower legs in the water. “Come over here, dumbass, and let me explain it to you.”
I push the legs of my jeans up to my knees and join her, welcoming the tepid water as it laps at my bare flesh. I hand her a beer, and she readily accepts. We have no other appointments today, and I plan to vent my frustrations in the studio as soon as this little chinwag is done.
“I know you’re dying to meet Easton. We all are, Dillon, but you’ve got to stop making this about you. This is about Easton and Vivien, and they’ve just been through hell.”
“I know that, and I want to help. How is wanting to be there for them so wrong?”
She rubs my arm. “She’s not ready to hear it or accept it, and, Dillon, you’ve got to at least consider the fact she may never want you like that again. You have hurt her, time and time again, and a lot of years have passed since you were together. People change. Feelings change.”
“I love her, Ash.” Pain bleeds into every corner of my being. “I love her so fucking much it kills me to see her in pain and not be able to do anything about it.”
“You can’t force your love on her, Dil. You can’t force anything on her. Especially not when she’s grieving.”
“What do I do? I’m not walking away from her, and I’m sure as fuck not walking away from my son. I have missed out on so much of his life already, and he needs me now.”
“You need to be patient.” I scowl, and she chuckles. “I know it’s about as natural as a colonoscopy, but you can’t fuck this up, Dillon. You have one chance to make this right.” She drills me with a warning look. “One last chance, Dil.” She jabs me in the arm. “Don’t blow it.”