I bit the inside of my cheek as I worked to clean the gash, reminding myself to remain professional. He needed my medical help, not his dick sucked.
But goddamn, that was hard to remember when his abs flexed at the sting of antiseptic on his wound and he leaned back against the mirror with a small groan of pain. Yeah, I knew how fucked up that was—he was in pain. But Zed somehow made it into a sexual act, and I couldn't convince myself otherwise.
"Hmm, you got lucky," I finally announced, tossing my bloodstained cotton swabs into the bin and grabbing a packet of butterfly tapes. "I think it's just a scratch."
Zed snorted a laugh that flexed his stomach muscles and made the cut ooze more blood. "Told you, smartass."
I huffed and carefully applied the butterfly tape to hold the long cut closed, then I stuck an adhesive gauze patch over it to protect it from infection while it started to heal. He didn't seem to need stitches, though, so that was something.
"Hands," I ordered, and he obediently held them out to me. "You're a fucking idiot, you know that?"
His lips curled in a smile. "That's nothing new."
I gave him a hard look, then went back to work dabbing his knuckles with antiseptic cream. He'd split those fuckers so many times there was permanent scar tissue across a few of them. It also meant we were well experienced with fixing them up.
"He’s had that coming for a long time," he muttered after a few moments of silence. "And a hell of a lot worse. I can't wait to make him pay for real."
"Get in line," I replied, my mouth set in a grim line as I applied a couple of Band-Aids to his knuckles. They weren't busted up enough to warrant proper bandaging this time.
Zed tightened his fingers around mine where I held his hand, stopping my admittedly unnecessary fussing.
"Dare." He tugged on my hand, gently bringing me closer until my hips brushed the edge of the counter between his knees. "Look at me."
I tightened my jaw and flicked my gaze up to meet his. I'd been avoiding eye contact with him since the moment we’d left Chase in the parking lot. Apart from that one brief moment when he’d stepped out of the shower, I'd been looking past him. Like a coward.
"Dare," he growled in warning. "Really look at me. Drop those walls and look."
My breath escaped from behind my clenched teeth, but he knew I couldn't deny him anything. Not when he asked like that, with such raw desperation underscoring his words.
"What?" I whispered when it started to feel like the walls were closing in around us. "What do you want to see?"
He gave a sad shake of his head. "It's what I want you to see, you stubborn bitch." A teasing smile touched his lips, making that an endearment rather than an insult. "I want you to see that no matter what happened in the past, I'm in this with you one hundred percent. I wasn't there when you needed me then, but I'm here now. I'm not going anywhere, and I'll do whatever it takes to fix what he broke inside you."
He released my hand, cupping the back of my neck instead. Leaning forward, he pressed his forehead against mine, his eyes locked on mine.
"I won't push you, Dare. But I love you so fucking much it physically hurts some days. All I want to do is erase all the hurt, wipe away the nightmares. But I don't have any fucking clue how to do that when it's me reminding you of those dark things."
My hands went to his waist and slid tentatively around his bare skin as I leaned into his touch. "I don't know either," I admitted in a small voice. "Every time we start... anything... it's like I'm instantly back in my eighteen-year-old body listening to Chase rant and scream about how I'm an unfaithful whore for kissing his best friend." I swallowed the lump of emotion clogging my throat and pushed on, laying it all out there. "And I'm so, so fucking scared this will be a passing thing for you. That you'll move on to some new waitress or dancer next week, and I'll be left with a hole in my heart and no best friend."
Zed didn't respond immediately. He pulled his forehead away from mine just enough to look at me properly, his eyes searching my face. Then he gave a thoughtful frown.
"Okay. So, those are the two biggest problems?"
Confused, I jerked a short nod.
His hand still gripped the back of my neck, his fingers rubbing my sore muscles in tiny circles. "Dare..." He paused to heave a sigh. "I don't know what else I can do to show you how much you mean to me. You're not some girl to me. You're the girl. The only one. But me telling you this only goes so far because at some stage you just have to fucking trust me. Take a leap of faith and trust that I'll catch you. Every. Fucking. Time."
I blinked at him, speechless. He was right. He'd been telling me over and fucking over how much he loved me. Not that he wanted to fuck me or even that he was attracted to me. What he felt for me, what I felt for him was so much deeper, heavier, and more dangerous than sex. But how the fuck did I expect him to prove that to me if I never let him?
He brushed his thumb over my cheek, his eyes soft. "As for the other thing, I wish I knew how to change the past, Dare. You have no idea how badly I want to go back to that time and drastically alter how it all played out."
A small, sad smile touched my lips. "Me too."
Zed leaned in again, but his soft kiss landed on my cheek. "Do you want to get changed and watch some TV or something? Just... hang out?"
I blinked at him a couple of times, processing the way he'd just shifted himself back into the friendzone so firmly. Then I gave a tight nod and stepped back to let him down off the counter.
"Yeah, sure. Sounds good." But disappointment and regret filled me up so much I was practically choking on it. "I'll go... change."
Despite how everything had turned out with Chase and my damage and the knife wound in Zed's side, I'd still thought the night might end a little less platonically and a whole lot more naked. So I just stood there for a hot second, mentally berating myself for fucking it all up. Again.
23
Zed made his way out to the bedroom ahead of me, his towel still around his waist. "Here, you can have one of my shirts." He grabbed one from the dresser and tossed it over to where I stood in the bathroom doorway. His bedroom lights were still off, making it hard to see him, but a small voice in my head whispered that he was just passing the ball back into my court. Like he’d said, he wasn't going to push me. But if I wanted to take things further...
"Can you unzip me?" I asked, a bit breathy with anticipation as I turned around to offer my back. The dress zipper was well within my own reach. I knew it, and so did he.
Zed padded back across the carpet, pausing a second before dragging the zipper of my dress down. He didn't move away when it was done, and neither did I. After a frozen moment, his hands went to my shoulders, his fingers caressing my skin as he pushed the dress fabric aside. I made no attempt to catch it, simply letting it drop to the ground and leave me in a sexy, black push-up bra and matching thong. Like I'd said, I’d dressed with Zed on my mind.
"Fucking hell, Dare," he breathed, his fingertips skating ever so lightly down my spine. "Are you trying to kill me?"