Pushing aside my doubts and anxiousness, I turned around to face him, meeting his eyes with confidence this time. "No," I replied, reaching up and linking my arms around his neck. "I'm trying... to take a leap." I wrinkled my nose, feeling like a total dork for reusing his metaphor.
He understood me perfectly, though. His hands gripped my bare waist, pulling me closer to him as his face dipped down to meet mine. He didn't kiss me, though. His lips stopped just an inch away, and he just fucking waited, wanting me to take that final step and close the gap between us.
"If we do this," I whispered, already dizzy with his nearness, "our friendship is totally fucked."
His lips curved. "It already is. Has been for months. This will only make us stronger."
I groaned, but he was right. So I closed the gap and threw myself off the metaphorical trust bridge.
Zed kissed me slowly, lingering like he was savoring every stroke of my tongue, every slide of our lips, every breathless gasp. His hands gripped my waist tight, and he started to lift me up before I stopped him with a hand to his chest.
"Do not try carrying me after I just patched up a knife wound in your side, Zayden De Rosa," I warned, giving him a push further into his bedroom.
It was only a few steps across to his bed, and we kissed the whole damn way before he shot me a smirk. "It's just a scratch, gorgeous." Then he winked and picked me up and dropped me onto my back in the middle of his bed with one swift movement. Somehow, magically, his towel was still wrapped around his waist. But it wouldn't be for long, if the shape of it was any solid indication.
Zed followed me onto the bed, his lips finding mine again with ease in the near darkness, the only light in the room pouring from the bathroom. I arched into him, spreading my legs in a clear invitation to get closer, and he gave a groan.
"You can still change your mind," he murmured as he kissed down my chest, his fingers finding the fancy front clasp of my bra and snapping it open. His breath hissed between his teeth as he caressed my breast, then he closed his lips over one taut nipple.
"I'm not changing my mind," I replied, breathless as I wriggled free of my bra. "Just... I don't know. Just be patient with me?"
Zed pushed up on his forearms, giving me a dead-serious look. "How is that even a question?" He arched a brow, and I gave him a knowing smile. Of course it wasn't a question. Just because this was new territory for us didn't mean we were new people. He was still Zed. He was still the boy I'd befriended at killer camp. I couldn't believe I'd been pushing him away for so long.
Winding my arms back around his neck, I crushed my mouth to his and kissed him hot and heavy until his fingers found my nipple once more and made me gasp with ecstasy as he played.
"Zed," I groaned as his kisses moved down my neck and his towel-covered hips brushed my inner thighs. "How is that fucking towel still on? What did you do, superglue it in place?"
He chuckled a deep laugh against my throat, and his hand moved from my breast down to my thong so his fingers could hook under the waistband.
"It's a talent, gorgeous." He was amused as hell, but he still sat up and slowly, torturously slowly, removed my thong and left me totally naked on the bed beneath him.
For a moment, he just sat there and stared down at me. The light from the bathroom cast a glow on one side of his face and one side of my body, but the rest of us was in shadows. It seemed... oddly fitting for my state of mind.
"Is there a problem?" I asked when he didn't continue. The pause had gone past casually gathering his thoughts and moved right into awkward territory.
A lopsided smile curved his lips, and he shook his head. "Not even slightly," he replied, his palms smoothing up the outsides of my bare thighs. "I was just thinking about all the different ways I want to have you. All the fantasies I could make reality..." He trailed off with a pained groan, biting his lip as he gripped my thighs and spread my legs wider. "Fuck, Dare."
Embarrassed, I hooked a leg around his back and gave him a tug closer. "Zed. Quit staring; it's fucking rude."
He laughed sharply but took the hint and leaned back down to kiss me again. This time, though, I'd grown impatient with waiting and reached down to tug his towel free myself. All it took was one yank and it was gone. So how in the hell had it stayed on so long? Goddamn magic.
Zed mumbled another curse against my lips as his hot, hard length ground against my core, making me shudder with longing. I didn't even want to mess around with foreplay. We'd had months of foreplay already, and I was more than ready for him.
"Please," I gasped, rocking my hips. "Zed..."
"Impatient," he chastised. His fingers skated down my body and found my throbbing cunt. I moaned and writhed under his body as his fingers slid inside, his thumb teasing circles around my clit until my whole body felt like a livewire.
"Zed!" I protested, more insistent this time. I pulled my knees up higher, angling my hips in a desperate need for his dick. His breath heated my neck as he gasped, and he withdrew his hand to line himself up. But just as his tip nudged at my entrance, a flash of dark terror slapped across my mind like a metal-tipped whip, and I froze.
He sensed it, too, and instantly stopped.
"Dare," he breathed, his voice low and calm. "Hey, baby, what just happened?"
I shook my head, frantic to regain the bliss of two seconds ago. What the fuck had just happened? "N-nothing," I stammered. "I don't even fucking know." I swiped my hands over my face and shook my head. "I'm fine. Sorry. I'm fine."
Zed leaned down and kissed me softly. "Don't ever fucking apologize to me. Not for this."
He started to shift away, and I jerked up, grabbing his shoulder. "Whoa, what? Where are you going?" He arched a brow at me in the darkness, and I frowned back. "Did I say to stop?"
"Uh..." He rubbed a hand over the back of his neck. "No, you did not."
"Well then, what are you waiting for?" Just to punctuate my point, I locked my lips back on his and hooked a leg around the back of his thighs, pulling him closer.
He gave a pained groan, but my movement had put him perfectly back in line. With just one thrust, he sank into my aching pussy, and I gasped against his kiss.
"Holy shit," he said in a strangled whisper, then shifted his position to drive in deeper with the next thrust. Then deeper again on the next.
I kept kissing him as he settled inside me, my pussy stretching and clenching his cock like a fucking welcoming party. But kissing him kept me grounded right here in the moment with him. It kept my mind focused on the present.
Of course, the second I acknowledged that fact I let the shadows back in, and a deep shudder of fear ran down my spine, locking my limbs right up.
"Shit, baby," Zed breathed, stilling his movement and placing a hand on the side of my face. "Talk to me."
"I don't know what my problem is," I confessed in a pained whisper. "I don't understand why this is happening with you. It's not the sex. It's—"
"It's me," he agreed. "Do you want to stop?"
I shook my head firmly. "Fuck no." I swallowed hard. "No. It's... God, this is infuriating. It's you... but not you. This doesn't make any fucking sense. I'm sorry."