Those final four words rushed from her, each a blade that embedded itself deep in his heart, cleaving right down to his soul.
Gods.
How wrong he had been.
He deserved more than death for making her feel that way, should be chained in Tartarus for all to whip and laugh at, to kill repeatedly for his sins.
“Never,” he whispered and brought his other hand up, wrapped her in it and then his wings, couldn’t stop himself from protectively curling them around her as she trembled against him, as he sensed her pain. “Gods, Calindria. The problem is quite the opposite. You are too good for me.”
She gave a tiny shake of her head.
He stroked her back, lifted his head and pressed his lips to her brow, lingering there as he breathed her in. “My life has been darkness… for so long now. I tried to protect myself… I pushed everyone away… I thought it was the right thing to do, but I was wrong. It did not make everything better. It only made it worse. It made me worse.”
He drew back and lowered his hand to her cheek, dropped it to her jaw and tilted her head up, so she was looking at him. His brow furrowed as he gazed down at her.
“You, Calindria, have brought light into my life again… but I am not cured of my past. Sometimes, I cannot control the way I react. It is ingrained in me.” He brushed his thumb across her cheek. “But know I will try. I will try to vanquish this dark beast within me… for you.”
Gods, he felt as if he had just torn open his ribcage to expose his heart to her, and now all he could do was wait to see whether she would destroy it or try to heal it.
“Do not do it for me,” she whispered, and he felt sure she was going to reach into his chest and squeeze his heart until it burst and all the light she had awoken in him died. She lifted her hands and framed his face, her blue gaze earnest. “Do it for yourself, Thanatos. Do it so you can move on and be happier.”
He thought perhaps to be happier you needed to be happy in the first place, but didn’t tell her that.
Mostly because as he gazed down at her, into those soft blue eyes that held affection even though it was him she was looking at, he realised that being around her, being close to her like this, made him happy. Perhaps that was the light she had created inside him, the one that chased back the gloom.
Happiness.
He frowned, feeling like a sentimental fool.
“You do not like your thoughts.” She smiled softly, a hint of amusement in it. “Here… I will give you something else to think about.”
She tiptoed and brushed her lips across his in the sweetest kiss he had ever had, one that reached right into his ribcage and seized his heart, but in a gentle grip that lifted him up, made him feel oddly light inside.
Vulnerable.
Thanatos held her closer, struggled to keep the kiss gentle and soft, wanting to experience more of this feeling only she could stir inside him. This warmth. He was a stranger to love, but if he had to put a name to it, he would call it the first seeds of that feeling.
She eased back, ending the kiss before he was ready, and he wanted to capture her lips again, but she looked around them. His wings blocked her view, but he couldn’t convince himself to unfurl them, not yet. He wanted to hold her like this a little longer.
So he looked for her, seeing nothing but the valley. Dead trees. Glowing crevasses. He sensed nothing but her either.
“What is wrong?” The fact he couldn’t sense anything didn’t put him at ease. He thought about the fact she was connected to nature in a way, that Persephone was able to sense all things that were in contact with the earth if she focused. It was possible that Calindria had that talent too.
She shook her head. “I thought I felt something.”
Her eyes met his again, the trace of fear in them enough to have him unfurling his wings and taking hold of her hand. He started with her back towards the tunnel, but she stood firm.
“No. We have to keep moving forwards.” She pulled him in the other direction, towards the open ravine-riddled basin of the valley.
He didn’t like the idea of that. Walking into the open when she felt something was in the area was a sure way of exposing themselves to danger. The spark in her eyes said she wasn’t going to do as he wanted though, so for the first time in his life he would compromise.
“We can skirt the edges of the valley, cross it that way.” His plan was to get her into the cover of the trees that lined the lower slopes of the mountains.
What he really wanted to do was pick her up and fly with her, but she had that mulish twist to her lips that warned him not to even mention it.
Her gaze shifted to the trees to his left. “It will take us twice as long to reach the next mountain range.”
That didn’t stop her from starting towards them, leading him by his hand. He pursed his lips and canted his head to his right. Apparently, compromises could work. Thanatos took the lead, gaze scouring the lands ahead of them as his senses reached all around him. What he wouldn’t give to destroy whatever power dampened them, hindering him.
But not Calindria.
He slid a look at her. “Can you feel things further away than that clump of trees?”
He pointed to the edge of the black forest ahead of them, one that clung to the base of the mountain they had exited. She nodded.
“How far can you sense?” He looked around to find something else to use as a marker, but she answered before he could pick one out.
“The whole of this valley with ease.” She frowned, a little pout to her lips as she stared at the black ground. “I think…”
She looked as if she didn’t want to finish that sentence, so he finished it for her.
“You can feel everything that is connected to the ground.” He glanced at her again when she looked at him, met her curious gaze and almost smiled. “Your mother can do the same. I believe using your power over nature has helped you hone it and made you grow more accustomed to it, unlocking its full potential.”
She stiffened again, her hand tightening against his. “My full potential says that something is in this valley. Many somethings.”
“Can you tell how big they are?” He scowled past his right wing, searching the gloom for movement.
“No. They’ve moved again. It’s like they keep disappearing.” She cast a worried look over her shoulder.
“Not disappearing,” he growled as it hit him. “Taking flight. They keep landing and you feel them, and then they take flight, breaking their connection with the earth and therefore you. Are they those winged black creatures we saw in the caves?”
She shook her head. “Bigger… and they feel… darker. Hungry.”
Great. Hungry beasts of undetermined species were tracking them.
He huffed. “I think they are the creatures we keep hearing.”
Ones that had begun to sound more and more familiar to him, although he couldn’t put his finger on why. The last time he had heard them shrieking was more than a day ago and he had put the building sense of familiarity down to the fact he kept hearing them. Now, he was sure he had heard these beasts before entering this realm.
He pulled her into the trees.
She was looking backwards at the time and she knocked against one of the broken branches and flinched as she gasped.
“Sorry.” He turned towards her, guilt flooding him as she frowned and lifted her free hand to touch a cut on her forehead.