“You are like your father. You always have been. You have a good, loving soul. And I’m very proud of you.”
“And what do you think of Chase?”
“I thought you weren’t friends anymore?”
“We aren’t, but I wish we still were.”
“Who you are friends with is totally up to you.”
“And what if, say, I wanted to marry someone like Chase? Would you still tell me I could do better?”
“Here’s the thing, Devaney. You are an adult. Your life is now yours. When I told you on the plane that I would support all your decisions, I meant it. You’ll probably make some bad decisions. But that’s okay. We all do. It’s part of the growing and learning process.”
“What if I screw things up beyond repair and am left with nothing?”
“I’ll help you pick up the pieces,” she says.
“I’m in pieces now, Mom. I broke things with Chase. I miss him terribly. And I might possibly even be a little in love with him.”
“I think you always have been a little in love with him, Devaney. And if you feel that way, you should follow in your mother’s footsteps and ask for forgiveness. Make things right. It might take some time for you both to heal, but that’s the first step.”
I nod my head, knowing that she’s right. “Thanks, Mom.”
“You’re welcome. And keep me posted on how it goes today. And tomorrow. Even if it’s just a quick text. And you might want to include Jadyn and Jennifer. I know they are thinking about you, too.”
I agree to do so and then hang up the phone.
I sit here.
And before I lose my nerve, I call his number.
“Hey, Dani,” Chase says, his voice sounding gravelly.
“Sorry if I woke you.”
“Are you okay?” he asks.
“I’m fine. Actually, that’s not true. I haven’t been fine since that day. And I wanted to tell you I’m sorry. For everything. And that I hope, someday, you might forgive me. Because I need you to be my friend. I know you’re with Lacey and everything, but we were best friends. And I miss you.”
“I miss you, too,” he says.
“So, you think there’s a chance?”
“Hmm,” he says, a playful tone in his voice now. “I don’t know. You are my best friend’s older sister. Like, you are a whole five months older than me. That might be a problem.”
“You’re silly,” I say, letting out a laugh.
“Dani,” he says, his voice turning serious again, “are you still wearing the ring?”
I look down at my finger and smile. “Yes, I am.”
“And how is rush going so far?”
“Busy. Exhausting. Today, I’ll find out if I got invited back to any of the houses I put in my top ten.”
“You know that I’m kind of lucky.”
“Are lucky or get lucky?” I tease.
“With you, it used to be both,” he fires back. “Just know that I infused some of my luck in that ring before I gave it to you.”
“Oh, did you now?” I flirt.
“Yes, I did. Which means, I predict you will get ten invites today and six tomorrow.”
“How do you know how many I could get each day?”
“I’ve had to listen to my mom talk with Jennifer about it every night. I’m practically a rush expert. So, you need any advice, just call me.”
“I actually just called my mom. She told me that she’s been getting counseling, that she’s friendly with your mom and Jennifer now. And it really seems like she’s changed. She even told me to text her, Jennifer, and your mom this morning when I find out. That they are all thinking about me.”
“She’s right about that. But I’d be willing to bet that I’ve been thinking about you more.”
“That means a lot, Chase. Thank you. I have to go now though. Get ready for today.”
“Question for you,” he says, “before you go.”
“Okay.”
“How are you going to decide which house you want to be in?”
“I have no idea. When I figure it out, I’ll let you know.”
“And you’ll text me?”
“I will.”
“Good. Bye, Dani,” he says and then hangs up.
I hold my phone to my chest and let out a relieved sigh, feeling like I can fully breathe for the first time in two years.
I go back in my room to find Alyssa awake. We get ready, have some breakfast, and then go pick up our invites.
Group text to Jennifer, Auntie Jay, Mom: I got invites to my top ten!!! And, yes, one of them is where I’m a legacy.
Jennifer: Woohoo! Congrats!!!
Auntie Jay: Just be your amazing self today, Dani. I know it’s stressful, but the rush process has changed a lot since your mom and I went through it. And it seems like a much smarter way of doing things. We just visited all the houses and prayed that the one we wanted would take us. Now, you keep cutting a little bit each day so that you know who is as interested in you as you are in them.
Mom: That’s awesome, Devaney. And I agree with the above sentiments and would add to really focus on what the sorority would offer you, not the other way around.
Me: Thank you! <3
I know Chase wanted to be included, but I send him a separate text. I don’t expect him to answer since he’s at school, but I send it anyway.
Me: I guess you are lucky. Ten out of ten.
Chase: Told ya. ;)
Me: Aren’t you in class?
Chase: Yeah, but I’d take a detention before not replying to you. I gotta put my phone away now though cause Coach wouldn’t be too thrilled if I missed practice.
I hold my phone to my chest again and sigh.
“What’s that dreamy look for?” Alyssa asks me.
“Oh, was just texting my moms and aunt to let them know about the invites.”
“No,” she says, “you were texting a boy. I thought you said you didn’t have a boy back home. And if you don’t, how have you already met someone here?”
“Fine. Boy from home, but it’s a friend thing,” I say.
“That’s good because we are in college now. And I, for one, am ready to meet some college boys.”
“You do realize that the freshmen here are the same boys we went to high school with last year, right?”
“Maybe for you, but there was a total of fifty-two boys in my senior class. I’m looking forward to a bigger pond to fish from.”
Which makes me laugh out loud. Because I realize that’s what I was in high school. A big fish in a little pond. Here, I’m just a fish, trying to navigate a really big lake.
And I think I’m okay with that.
Thursday, August 22nd
I would kiss that.
Devaney
Last night, I had to narrow my choices from ten to six. And like yesterday, we’ll get to spend a little longer at each house. If we get six invites, we will be going from nine until dinner at seven with just an hour for lunch.