I nodded my head in agreement. “And the jam,” I added.
“Yes, of course, the jam.”
“It was lovely to meet you,” I told her.
She curtsied again and replied, “it was indeed a pleasure Lady Compton.”
Smiling, I turned and ran back toward the cottage. I did so like it when people curtsied to me. I would suggest that Alice do so, although I did doubt she would. Alice wasn’t an easy one to convince of much. Hopefully my leaving the cottage wouldn’t be cause to punish me. Perhaps Alice had slept well and was in a fine mood. One could always hope.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Earl of Ashington
Lady Wellington had informed me that Miriam had gone for a walk amongst the gardens. After another lively breakfast with Miriam, her aunt and uncle and her sister this morning, I had taken my leave to the office to catch up on work. I hadn’t intended to be so long, but I had looked up from my desk to find it was well past noon. Lady Wellington had been coming in the front door with her shoes in her hand and flushed cheeks from the sunshine when I came out of the office.
I was glad to see Miriam’s family felt so comfortable here. It said much for the future if her family liked me and Chatwick Hall. I had to keep in mind they hadn’t met the most important person just yet, but the more I came to know of them, the more I believed they would react the way I needed them to. The way Emma needed them to.
Lady Wellington’s disregard for the way society believed one should behave was a blessing really. She didn’t have strict ideas of what a household should and should not be. I had rarely seen her in shoes since her arrival. She also found it amusing to tell stories about her family and home in America that would make most ladies of the ton blush with embarrassment.
I scanned the grounds as I made my way around to the gardens, looking for Miriam’s red hair I was sure would shine with the day’s bright sunlight. It wasn’t until I reached the back of Chatwick Hall that I saw her sitting amongst the roses again. She was staring off toward the path that led to the cottage, and for a moment, I felt a shred of panic. Had she walked back there? Had she seen Emma? Then she turned her head before I could worry too deeply and smiled at me. The relief from just a simple smile was greater than she knew. I returned one of my own and made my way over to the woman I was almost sure would be exactly what I needed in a wife. Introducing her to Emma, however, would wait. I wasn’t ready to take that step.
“I must apologize for getting lost in my work. I meant only to do some correspondence that had been delayed. Yet it seems I managed to spend an entire morning locked away in my office.”
Miriam did not seem to hold any resentment for being left to her own whims. “Work won’t do itself, I’m afraid,” she replied. “Especially tedious correspondence.”
She was very agreeable and not at all demanding. At least she appeared that way. I wasn’t sure another lady of the ton that equaled her beauty would feel the same. I had found the more beautiful and sought after the female, the more they demanded attention. This was not the case with Miriam. Part of me felt as if perhaps she should demand more from others. She had a suitable dowry provided by her uncle and her beauty was truly unmatched. Shouldn’t she enjoy the perks that came with such gifts? Was I fortunate to have found her or was I being selfish to claim her before she truly had time to shine?
Perplexed by my sudden moment of wanting more for Miriam than she herself seemed to require, I took the seat beside her. Before I could think of my words more clearly and say things in a clear manner, I blurted out, “You really should expect more from a gentleman.”
Miriam turned her head to look at me, but for a moment, before a soft laugh escaped her bow-shaped pink lips. “Is that so, my lord?”
“Yes,” I replied simply, afraid what else I may say if I allowed myself.
“I expect what I believe is important. Honesty, kindness, intelligence, a man who is responsible and, of course, has an appreciation for the written word. I do not believe it is important to expect a man to bend to a woman’s every wish. It would do nothing more than spoil her and I daresay that ruins a lady. No matter how beautiful she may be.”
Her ideas were so unique yet so well said. How was it possible that every moment I spent with her, she became even more appealing? I wasn’t sure any amount of time spent with her would produce a quality in her I found distasteful.
“You speak as if you have known many spoiled females,” I replied.
She lifted a dainty shoulder then sighed. “Oh, I have. One doesn’t have to look very far.”
Especially amongst the ton. London was full of those who thought only of their own rewards. I had met very few who wanted more for someone other than themselves. Miriam would do whatever she must for her sister and that said more about her than anything else. It made me want her for Emma. I wanted Emma to grow into a lady who believed such as Miriam.
I paused then in my thoughts. Did I? Did I truly want Emma to grow to think of only others? Not to once take a moment to choose something for herself? Did I want Emma to believe her happiness wasn’t important?
No. I did not. I wanted Emma to want more for herself than to only seek others’ happiness. I wanted her to make decisions that would make her smile and I wanted her to have the life she deserved.
“I’m sorry if I have offended you,” Miriam said as she studied me. “I often speak the truth or what I feel is the truth. My mother always said I was too blunt and should bite my tongue. I fear I never listened.”
Realizing my thoughts must have put a scowl on my face, I quickly remedied that and softened the line of my lips. “I prefer honesty and bluntness,” I told her. “I also agree with you fully.”
She didn’t seem convinced, but she also did not push the matter. Miriam Bathurst rarely pushed anything. She wouldn’t search for her happiness. She was only concerned with her sister’s. Something deep within me ached for the little girl who hadn’t been shown love from her father. The young woman whose mother wanted her to sacrifice her future for her family. How could I take advantage of her situation, if I couldn’t accept a similar future for Emma?
“Noble,” I said and Miriam turned her gaze once again to me. Her eyebrows lifted in question at my singular word. “You forgot noble. A gentleman should be noble. Not in mere title but in deed. He should make decisions based on what is right and what is fair,” I finished.
Miriam thought upon my words but for a moment then nodded her head once. “Indeed,” she agreed. “He must be noble.”
There were many things in that moment that could be said but a battle was waging inside me. I wasn’t sure if I was noble enough and when the time came could I be labeled as such. Miriam Bathurst was exactly what Emma needed but was Emma and myself what Miriam needed… or deserved?
Standing I held out a hand to Miriam. “Take a walk with me. Let’s enjoy the sunshine for it is England, and at any moment, the rain may come.”
Miriam placed her gloved hand in mine and stood up. “Sounds like an excellent idea. Although I am not sure the rain will come today. There is not a cloud in the sky,” she replied.
I felt the moisture in the breeze and knew it would be here sooner than either of us wanted it to be. “Regardless, let’s enjoy the moment,” I said.