He moves faster than a cheetah on the hunt and reaches for his wallet, where he does indeed produce a condom from the sleeve.
Relief floods my body as I bring my hand to his face and kiss his lips, just like he did with me before, hoping to revive the feelings I almost lost.
Within seconds, I’m breathing heavily as I wrap my fingers around his girth, tightening my chest for the second time in the short period I’ve been in his room.
I lie back on the bed while he wraps the condom on and positions himself against my entrance. When he pushes in, his lips crash to mine, and I moan from the pleasure ripping through me, finally getting what I wanted—what I needed—since his lips first touched mine.
As he moves in and out of me, my body glides with him in synchrony. We’re in perfect alignment, and for this moment, I feel free, alive, and like I’m floating above my body.
My life has been nothing but stress and pain for the past year, and right now, none of that matters. I only exist to feel his strength glide through me and bring me the happiness I need now more than ever.
When his hands find mine, intertwining and gripping them tightly, he moves them above my head as he grinds into me. My entire life erases. I fully give it over to him. Handing him my heart and my soul.
He hurries his thrusts, and I feel the urge, the desire to fall climbing higher and higher. He grunts a manly sound, and I explode around him, clenching him with my body and letting that last bit of me go.
His hands hold mine tighter, and I feel his release. Once we both float down to earth, his lips find mine, and he kisses me so softly, so meaningfully that I almost want to cry.
I want this.
I want him.
But my life has already been given to someone else.
Chapter Three
Seven Weeks Later
As I stand on the street, I check my watch for the third time, nervous he’s not going to make it. Finally, I see Daniel turn the corner. One look at his face, and I know he’s not in a good mood. I remind myself that at least he’s here, and I try not to second-guess anything.
I head toward him, wrapping my arm around the elbow he offers me, not removing his hand from his pockets.
“Thank you for coming,” I say nervously.
I’ve been sick for weeks, and I finally made a doctor’s appointment that I was too afraid to come to alone. Having to beg my husband to attend an appointment with me is something I never thought I’d have to do.
We’ve been spending more time apart while he dives into his work as a criminal attorney as I try to be the doting wife, making dinners for him, only for him not to come home.
I try to remember the man I married, and I know he’s still there somewhere inside. He has to be. People don’t change into completely different human beings overnight, yet that’s what I’ve been facing for the last few years.
We were happy in our small town. At least, I thought we were. After we got married and moved to the city, away from my family and friends, he did a one-eighty. The nice guy who had swept me off my feet seemingly couldn’t care less about me—that is, unless he wants to tell me how horrible of a wife I am.
If I don’t have the table set and house spotless when he gets home, I know I’ll never hear the end of it. He’s even gone as far as throwing all of our clean, folded clothes across the room because I was in the middle of putting them away when he walked in the door.
I’m starting to feel like his maid rather than his wife.
I keep trying to tell myself that this is just a rough patch in our marriage, but the more time that passes, the more I don’t know what to do.
I believe in the sanctity of marriage. When I said, “Till death do us part,” I meant it—even though more recently, I’ve been spending more days wondering about death rather than the marriage I’m in.
I think all the stress I’m under is what’s causing my current issues. I’m so conflicted with my life that I’m literally making myself sick.
That’s why I wanted Daniel here. I’m hoping it will open the conversation of our home life in the safety of my doctor’s office. Maybe if Daniel hears how stressful situations are bad on people’s well-being, he’ll soften his demeanor with me.
I know it’s wishful thinking, but I’m desperate at this point.
Daniel opens the door to the doctor’s office for me. I sign in, letting the doctor know I’m here before we both take a seat in the waiting room. Daniel instantly takes out his phone, answering an email, so I pick up the People magazine sitting next to me.
The nurse calls us back and leads us into the room. Once she takes my temperature and vitals, she leaves us alone as we wait for the doctor. Daniel doesn’t even spare me a glance and continues to type away on his phone, like he’s at his desk and not at an appointment where there might be something horribly wrong with his wife.
Dr. Parker enters the room with a friendly smile on his face. “Michelle, Daniel.” He reaches his hand out to me and then Daniel, who finally puts his phone away and places a fake smile on his face. “It’s so good to see you. What brings you in?”
“Well”—I place my hand on my stomach—“I really haven’t been feeling good. I feel nauseous all the time, I’ve had horrible headaches, and sometimes, I’m so tired that I feel like I can’t get out of bed. I just feel weak and flush, no matter what time of day it is.”
He sits down on the rolling stool and types his password into the computer. “The nurse said your vitals are good. When was your last period?”
“I’m due in about a week.”
“And was your last period normal?”
I bite my lower lip. “It was really light, but I’ve had that before. My period has always been all over the place.”
“Well”—Dr. Parker reaches in a cabinet, handing me a container—“why don’t we have you take a pregnancy test? That way, we can rule that out before we do anything else. Just take this and go to the bathroom. While you’re doing that, I’ll look over your chart some more and see what our next plan might be.”
My stomach instantly turns even more than it already was as my heart beats rapidly through my chest. I wasn’t even thinking about pregnancy because we barely have sex. Hell, it’s been weeks.
Ever since before that night with Travis.
I push the idea out of my head as I hop off the chair.
I grab the container from him as Daniel says, “Dr. Parker, is this even necessary?”
I turn to him, furrowing my brows. What kind of question is that? I was thinking a baby was exactly what we didn’t need in our marriage right now, but I can’t believe he would be so blunt about our lack of a sex life.
“It doesn’t sound like that’s what’s going on, but let’s just rule it out before we move on,” the doctor says to Daniel and not me.
I head to the restroom, taking deep breaths so I don’t throw up in the hallway. On top of feeling absolutely run-down, now, my nerves are shot. If I am pregnant, I’ll have to make some big decisions. With the way my marriage is going, I would never want to put a child through my life. Marrying him was my fault that I must live through, but I don’t want to ruin someone else’s life with my poor choices.