When I enter the room, I set the container on the counter and take my seat back on the exam chair. Dr. Parker talks about the weather and how the fog has been pretty light, but honestly, all of his words are mush in my brain as I stare at the test, waiting to see what it says.
When Dr. Parker’s shoulders fall forward, I breathe a sigh of relief, as no one would ever be sad about having to tell someone they’re not pregnant, especially if they weren’t even trying.
He is probably tired and was hoping this would be an easy answer, so he wouldn’t have to run more tests and help me figure out what’s going on.
“Congratulations,” he says as he turns toward me, sitting up straighter.
I inhale a sharp breath.
“You’re going to be a mother.”
“I’m what?” I ask, my eyes feeling like they’re going to bug out of my head.
“She’s what?” Daniel asks, standing so fast that the chair he was on hits the wall behind him.
His eyes meet Dr. Parker’s, who steps back with his head down. Confusion races over me until Daniel strides out of the room, leaving me.
Well, I guess that answers any questions I might have had about him wanting to be a father.
I blink away tears that make me even more upset. I hate the way he constantly makes me feel.
Frustration from the past few years races through me and fuels my fire as I jump off the chair. “Where are you going? Daniel?” I yell, grabbing my stuff.
I stop at the door and turn back to Dr. Parker. “I’m so sorry. I don’t know why he did that. I should—”
“Go,” Dr. Parker urges. “You two need to talk.”
I turn and follow Daniel out of the office. When we get to the street, I yell to him, “Daniel! Please, stop. Why did you leave like that?”
I run after him, and he stops. He glares down at me, and I see anger I never thought I’d see from him. He might be rude to me on a constant basis, but the rage radiating off of him right now is new and frightens me to my core.
“How could you?”
I step back. “What do you mean?”
“You do realize that Dr. Parker now knows you’re a whore who cheats on her husband?”
My eyes widen as visions of that night with Travis flash through my mind, but I quickly blink them away. There’s no way. This baby is Daniel’s. It has to be. Travis and I used protection.
But why would he say that, and how would he know?
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I say not very convincingly, even to myself.
He lets out a huff, shaking his head, stuffing his hands deeper into his suit pockets. “Let me see if I can spell it out for you. You’re pregnant, and I know for a fact that it’s not mine.”
I shake my head in disbelief. “No. No. That’s not true. You have to be the father.”
He shakes his own head. “Nope. I’m not, and you want to know how I know that?”
I take a deep breath, feeling like my life is collapsing around me.
“Because I had a vasectomy a year ago.”
My fear turns to rage. “You what?” I yell, not holding back one bit.
He gets closer, his anger even more evident. “I decided I didn’t want kids. So, I took measures into my own hands and solved the problem before you got pregnant without allowing me to be a part of the decision. Dr. Parker is who gave me the referral.”
I cover my mouth with my hands, not sure whether to cry or scream. “And you didn’t tell me?”
“No. It’s my body.” He gets closer to my face. “So, there you go. I. Can’t. Have. Kids.” He takes a step back and crosses his arms. “So, tell me, oh wife of mine, who knocked you up?”
I see red, nothing but flaming red, when I bring my hand up and slap him across his face before turning and walking in the opposite direction.
The day I married this man has just turned into my worst nightmare.
Chapter Four
In the Sunset District in San Francisco, I stand at the front door of my best friend, Liz’s, house, carrying my bags with tears running down my face. I didn’t bother to call before I came, so when she sees me for the first time, looking like a hot mess, her reaction is exactly what I expected.
“Oh my God, what happened? Come in. Michelle, sweetie.” She wraps her arms around me.
I sob into her shoulder for a solid minute before she leads me inside. Thankfully, her husband is still at work, and I try to hide my face from her daughter, Sophie.
“Sophie”—she kneels down to her—“would you mind going to your room and turning on a movie, so I can talk to Michelle?”
“Sure, Mommy,” she says as she skips down the hall with her blanket in tow.
Seeing her disappear around the corner just makes me cry harder. I’ve wanted a child for so long, but I thought it would never happen with the marriage I was in. Now that I’m pregnant, I don’t know what to do.
When Liz sees me with my face in my hands, she rushes to my side and leads me to the couch, leaving my bags in the middle of her living room.
“Okay, please tell me what’s going on. I’m really getting scared here,” Liz says, rubbing her hand down my back.
I sit up, swallow the shame I feel, and admit, “I messed up.”
Her eyes open wide. “You messed up? How?”
“I slept with someone else,” I say through more tears.
Liz rubs her lips together as she takes a long inhale. “I know this isn’t what you want to hear, but, girl, I’ve never been prouder of you.”
I flip my head up to see her more clearly. “Excuse me?”
She sighs before she lets it all out. “None of us like Daniel, but we wanted to support you, hoping we would see what you did. It only seems like he’s gotten worse instead of better. I’ve always felt like you deserved more.”
I close my eyes as tears spill out. She wipes them away.
“Sweetie, don’t cry.” She reaches for a tissue from a box she has sitting on the end table.
I take it from her and wipe my cheeks. “You’re right. It has gotten worse, but I still had hopes that the man I’d married would return somehow.”
“So, did you tell him? Or I’m guessing he found out somehow?”
I stare right at her, my face frowning so much that I might look like I’m melting.
She grabs my hand. “Is there something else you want to tell me?”
I nod ever so slightly, taking in a shaky breath, and when she sees my face, everything sets in.
“Oh …”
“Yeah. Oh …”
“So, I take it, you don’t know which one the father is then?”
I shake my head. “No, I know whose it is.”
“Then …” She leans down her head to try to see my face, waiting for me to speak.
“I thought for sure it was Daniel’s. I mean, I was only with that guy once. It was a huge mistake, but Daniel and I had just gotten in a big fight, so I’d left and ended up at a bar. The guy was there, and he was so sweet. He made me feel alive for the first time in years. I’d thought, with age, that feeling just disappeared, and real life took over. I’d thought what I felt every day was normal.”