He recognizes me.
I know it’s him.
When he looks at Leighton, his face turns pale.
It should. He must feel like he’s looking at a smaller version of himself.
Chapter Seven
We sit in silence as I let everything sink in for the both of us.
How is he here?
I went back to Travis’s restaurant one more time and left my number for them to give to him. After a month went by without hearing from him, I gave up hope and decided if I was going to raise this child on my own, I would need the help of my parents. So, I moved back to my hometown of Rohnert Park, which is about an hour out of San Francisco.
No, my parents weren’t too happy with my life choices, but we can all say without a doubt now that Leighton is the exact joy that we needed in our lives.
I watch as he stares at Leighton, who’s playing with the shirt he’s wearing. It has a sequin design that shows a cat smiling on one side, and when you swipe your hand up the design, it changes to the same cat sticking his tongue out.
He thinks it’s hilarious, and it’s been a distraction right when I’ve needed it a few times now.
Travis picks up the chart again and reads the form I filled out. He closes it, and my heart pounds when he looks at me and asks, “Michelle?”
I take a big inhale and nod. “How are you, Travis?”
“I’m … I’m fine. How have you been?” He’s talking to me, but his eyes keep wandering to Leighton.
“I’ve been good.” I raise my hand to Leighton. “Busy, as you can see. How are you in Rohnert Park?”
“I was about to ask you the same thing.”
“I grew up here. I moved back home when I was pregnant with …” I let my words trail off, not ready to go there yet.
“You’re from here?”
“Yeah. How did you end up here?”
“I was hired out of school to work for Kaiser up the road. I left and started my own practice last year.”
“Yes, you’re spoken of very highly on the playground. I was lucky to get an appointment with you.”
“I’m glad you did.” He inhales, trying to get back to business and not let the shock overtake our moment. He turns to Leighton. “So … tell me about this young man.”
Leighton looks up and smiles brightly at Travis. “Hey, you have the same eyes as me!” Leighton says with excitement, and my heart sinks.
Travis turns to me with a questioning expression that he tries to wipe away. “Yes. Yes, I do.” He holds up his hand for a high five. “Give me five for cool matching eyes.”
Leighton slaps his hand hard, and Travis acts like it hurt him as he laughs.
Travis grabs a stool and sits down while removing the stethoscope from his neck and shows it to Leighton. “Do you know what this is?”
Leighton shakes his head.
“I hold this up to you, and I can listen to your heart. Can you tell me where your heart is?”
Leighton places his hand over his heart like he’s saying the Pledge of Allegiance, which his preschool taught him when discussing going to kindergarten next year.
Travis smiles and nods his head. “Good job. Now, I’m going to hold this up, and what do you think I’m going to hear?”
“When I lay against my mom, I hear a thumping sound. Will it be like that?”
“Yes, it will.” Travis holds it up to Leighton’s chest and smiles when he hears the beat. He takes them out of his ears and holds them up to Leighton. “Do you want to hear?”
Leighton grabs it quickly and puts them in his little ears. When his face lights up, I can’t help but smile, thankful for the distraction, no matter how small it is.
Travis continues his exam of Leighton, and when he opens the chart to make notes, I watch as he stares at the paper, at what I know is the smoking gun, revealed in my own handwriting.
Leighton’s middle name is Travis.
Travis stops what he’s writing and meets my eyes, and then he turns to Leighton and back to me. I close my lids, afraid of what his expression will be, and nod my head slightly. When I open them, Travis’s eyes are filling with tears. He quickly blinks them away as he gives me a blank stare.
He takes a large inhale, closing the chart before placing his hands on his knees as he nods his head slowly. When he jumps up off the stool and opens the door without saying anything, my heart stops.
Did he really just walk out on us?
I turn to Leighton, who’s still playing with the stethoscope Travis left in his hands.
I go to stand but am stopped short when the same nurse who brought us in here comes in and holds her hand out to Leighton. “Come here, sweetie. We have a toy box you get to go through when you’ve been good for an appointment.”
Leighton’s eyes light up. “That was it? I’m done?”
The nurse laughs. “That’s it. You did really well, so let’s go pick out the best toy we can find.”
I help Leighton off the exam table, and he rushes to hold her hand. I walk behind them but see Travis standing at the door. He holds his palm up, making it very clear that I am to stay put.
He smiles at Leighton as he leaves, and then he enters the room and shuts the door behind us.
We sit in silence as we stare at each other. The air is so thick that I feel like I’m suffocating. I rub my lips and grip my purse tighter when he steps closer.
“I woke up, and you were gone,” he says, surprising me by going straight for it.
I tilt my head down, ashamed, not sure what to say in response.
“He’s …” He leaves the question hanging there.
I inhale a deep breath and take the leap that I know will change my life from here on out. “Yours.”
He leans back on the counter and crosses his arms. His head is moving like he’s nodding, but I get the feeling it’s more of a shocked response than on purpose. I guess it’s not every day you find out you have a five-year-old you knew nothing about.
“How come you never told me?”
My head snaps up. If there’s one thing I will not feel guilty about, it’s that. “My period is never normal. I spotted the first month, so I never questioned it. It wasn’t until seven weeks later that I felt really sick and went to the doctor. When I knew I was pregnant, I went to your apartment, and you were gone.”
“I moved a few weeks after I graduated,” he says more to himself than to me.
I step toward him, making sure he knew I tried. “I even went to your work. I’m sure they thought I was a stalker.”
“Did you tell them why you needed to reach me?” His expression is covered in pain, and my chest tightens at the sight.
I step back, shaking my head. “I was too ashamed. They said they would never give out your information, so I gave them mine to give to you.”
“They never did.”
I bite my inner lip. “I didn’t know what to think. I wanted to keep the baby, so I figured this was what was meant to be. I moved back home and have been living here ever since.”
“Do you have—” He stops himself and checks out my left hand.
I shake my head. “No. I’m not with anyone.” I tilt my lip up to the side. “He’s the only guy in my life.”