“Newborns do look like chubby aliens.”
Boaz turns his attention to Lane. “Don’t listen to him. You’re a pretty princess.”
“She’s a loud, pretty princess.” I chuckle. He’s so sweet with my daughter, it makes me want to know more about him. “Did you grow up around here?”
“Sure did. My parents moved here after they were married. They thought it’d be a good place to raise a family.”
“Was it?”
“Yeah, I love BFB. I want to see the world someday, but if I ever have a family, this is where I want to raise my kids.”
“You want kids one day?”
“I think so.” He smiles wide and my attention is drawn to his bright white teeth framed by plump, kissable lips. I’m transfixed. “You okay?”
“Huh?” I look away and shake my head, embarrassed to have been caught staring. “Sorry. I’m more tired than I thought.”
“It’s all good. How about you? Did you grow up in New York?”
“Yes. Well, a suburb of New York.”
“Your parents must be proud of you, being a doctor and all.”
Lane drifts asleep in his arms and he lifts her to his chest. She sighs, but doesn’t wake.
“My future was well planned and laid out for me. I was to become a doctor, like my dad. Although he’s a heart surgeon, making me a disappointment for only becoming a hospitalist. My mom stayed home, but not to take care of me. Mostly to volunteer and keep up appearances. It was made clear someday I was to have a wife who’d do the same.” I reach over to flick away dried milk from the corner of Lane’s mouth, but really it just gives me an excuse to be close to Boaz for a moment.
“They must’ve been pissed when you got divorced.”
“My parents loved Maisy until they found out we couldn’t have kids. Then they tried to talk me into leaving her. It’s what drove a rift between us and them. I don’t ever call unless it’s a holiday or one of their birthdays. They don’t know about the divorce or even that I moved. They don’t know about her either.” I tap Lane’s nose. “They don’t deserve to know.”
They’d be especially miffed if they saw me right now, looking at a man and thinking he’s the sexiest person I’ve ever seen. But I keep that part to myself.
“Why did you get a divorce?” he asks.
I blow out a breath. He doesn’t know how loaded this question is.
“A few reasons. I’d been hiding who I really was, even from myself. Unfortunately, my moment of actualization happened after I was deep into a life I didn’t want.” It’s vague, but the truth. I can’t decide if I want him to meddle. I need a reason to force honesty with someone other than myself, but it’s scary as fuck.
“That sounds ominous.” He chuckles. “I’m not one to pry… no, fuck that. I am one to pry. What the hell does all that mumbo-jumbo mean?”
“You have to remember I grew up in a very conservative home. Certain things weren’t talked about or accepted. People with alternative lifestyles were shunned and publicly demeaned.”
“You into some 50 Shades shit, doc?” he asks in a serious tone, but a smirk plays on his lips.
“No, nothing like that. I’m, uh. I’m like you.” My mouth goes dry and I feel a bead of sweat trickle down my back. I don’t dare look over to see his reaction.
“A black nurse?” He chuckles in that deep throaty way I love, and it’s the ice breaker I need to peer over at him. His eyes are glimmering with amusement, taking my nervousness down a small notch.
“No.” I chortle. “I’m uh, gay.”
His mouth drops open and his eyes widen comically, but none of it is genuine. “I had my suspicions, not gonna lie.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. The baby threw me off for minute, though.” He gestures to Lane.
“Join the club.” Suddenly the fifty-pound weight I’ve been carrying on my chest lifts. When I admitted the truth to myself, it was astounding. Like my world became clearer and everything made so much more sense, but admitting it to someone else feels like validation. Boaz was a safe choice to be the first, but he was an important choice too.
“Does anyone else know?”
“You’re the first,” I admit.
“I’m honored. Really.” He rests a hand on my knee and gives it a gentle squeeze. “That’s huge and I’m grateful you trusted me with it.”
“I’m glad it was you too.” The room suddenly becomes quiet and heavy as we share in the moment. I’m proud of myself, and his reaction gives me confidence to not hide my sexuality. No matter how anyone else reacts, I know I at least have one person on my side.
The doorbell rings and I startle. Boaz pulls his hand away and I jump up to grab the pizza. We don’t mention my sexuality or talk about anything heavy for the rest of the night. We joke and get to know each other better. It’s friendly, fun, and exactly what I needed after the heaviness of our earlier conversations.
At some point Lane begins to fuss, demanding her dinner.
“I’m gonna head out. Let you get the little princess fed. Hopefully she’ll let you sleep tonight.” Boaz walks over to the door and toes his shoes on.
“Thanks again. I’ve spent the last week drowning. You showing up was exactly what I needed to feel human again,” I say.
“This is going to sound weird, but do you want my number? You know, in case you need help again? Or even just to talk.”
“Sure. Yeah. It takes a village, right?” It’s a platonic offer, but my inner middle schooler is stupid and flutters to life.
“Where’s your phone?” He holds his hand out and I dig it out of my pocket. He taps a few buttons and I hear his own phone chirp. “There. Call or text anytime. I mean it.”
“Thanks, Boaz.”
“My friends call me Bo.”
“You never told me that before.”
“We weren’t really friends before.” His chin tips down and he smirks. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think it was a flirtatious move.
Then he’s gone, closing the door quietly behind him. I expel a loud breath and smile to myself. Tonight was remarkable. I meant it when I told him I’d been drowning. Between coming to terms with the loss of Maisy and becoming an overnight father, life had quickly become chaotic. And not in a good way. Boaz showing up was the mental break I needed.
Chapter Four
Boaz
He has a baby.
He’s a dad.
He’s gay.
I process it all on the walk home. It’s dark now and the breeze coming off Wolffish Bay feels damn good. It’s quiet out, peaceful. It’s the time of night where everyone in town has made it home to their families. Dad and Eli are probably home and I hope they’ve scrounged up dinner. I don’t feel much like doing anymore domestic shit tonight.
The walk takes a half hour, and I’m no closer to wrapping my head around Lance Miller when I get there. It was a fun fantasy to think about getting it on with the hot doc, but that man has more proverbial and literal baggage than I know what to do with. If I’m overwhelmed at the amount, he must be next level freaked out.